Ashes
by Adain Bryce
Summary: What if Barney found out he had a daughter. A twenty four year old daughter to, be exact. Who just happened to an adrenalin junky. What if she fell in love. With who?. Starts before the first movie. Warning rated M her language, sexuality, and violence. I don't own any of these characters just messing around
1. Chapter 1

Norway the troll mountains*

She stood on the edge of the cliff Heart racing adrenaline pumping. But she knew in a moment her mind would go black no thoughts of the past she would be in the present, in the moment. She gazed out over the horizon at the beauty the awe inspiring grandeur of the troll mountains. It was actually illegal to jump from the troll wall with it 3600 foot vertical drop. But that's why she loved Stellan he was as crazy as her.  
This was it and one two three bam! She jumped dropped about 600 hundred feet and opened her arms! There it was the heart pounding adrenaline. In her opinion gods greatest gift!  
Little did Pax know as she glided threw the air at two hundred plus miles an hour her life was going to forever change!

the fallowing day she sat lost in thought as the plane lifted off home, I'm going home. The thought planted the lyrics to the corny song by some Vin Diesel looking wannabe from American Idol. She wasn't a big fan of what's his name or that show. But home well she didn't know if she was ready for that but at least she'd be state side, it had been three months. But still she wasn't sure she would ever feel like she had a home again. She turned on her iPad when the flight attendant came over the intercom telling them they could use electronic devices again and opened her photos and scrolled to the ones of Derrick and her beautiful baby girl Abby. They were taking the day of the accident. At seventeen months Abby had been her world her happy little family. She had a photography business she ran from home. Derrick had taking Abby that day because as she had three family shoots scattered all over. So Derrick had taking Abby to the reptile show solo. In the two years since she hadnt been back to Nevada to her pretty little house in the desert. As close as she got was her moms on the coast of North Carolina. She spent a lot of time in Ireland, at her step das home. she had lived there until she was seventeen. They had moved to the states because of his job. She had finished high school gone to collage in Reno for the arts and met Derrick a local boy three years older then her. Falling in love and gotten married. Her story book ending. Or so she had thought.

New Orleans*

Barney sat watching the sun go down he loved this view over the river he had since he'd first seen it ten years ago that is why he had decided on this particular place. It gave him a sense of peace, quiet and serenity. He could almost forget how bloody his hands are. How dried up his sole had become. It was a morbidly comical situation to him he could have got out of this business years ago. Truth be told he had thought about it when he was in his thirties. She had been worth it... But it didn't bare thinking about at this late juncture he wasn't really physically that old his soul was. the rest of the crew was at Molly's bar drinking and hitting on women. He found the older he got the less appealing that became, and with only three days left until there next job he needed a period of quiet reflection. Or as Gunnar would say the old man needed to rest up so he could keep up.

six days later*

It was around seven thirty at night on June twenty third when a ghost from long ago walked into tools shop. The man himself set starring in shock. Hello Tool the still beautiful dirty blonde named Marcia Munro. " Marcia, what brings you here?" He asked as he rose and began to walk over to give her a hug. "I need to talk to Barney" Tool shook his head."Well I don't know where he is specifically at present there out on a job, due back to night or in the morning."

Suddenly Marcia seemed older. " what is it Marcia?" Tool led her to a seat and got her a bottle of water from the mini fridge on the counter. "You have to understand I would never have come here if there had been a choice. But there wasn't one at all." she paused taking a big drink of water. Tool set on the stool next to hers and placed his hand on her shoulder as tears began to slip from her eyes. Marcia's head down took a deep breath, and looking up met Tools gaze head on "my eldest daughter Adain was taken three days ago. Snatched from my own boat house. lance can't get involved the department won't let him." Tool rubbed her back feeling horror for her. "I had no choice I had to come. They will kill her. I know they will." Tool asked as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and swiping the screen " why did they take her?" Marcia put her face in her hands "I don't know"

Tool watched Marcia as the phone rang. Tool never made calls to Ross when he was out of town. They didn't need distractions but they should be headed home he thought as he left the room. "Ya." Was the answer on the other end. "We got a situation Barney" "What's that?" Tool didn't know what to say. "Well it's like this" again another pause. "Spit it out Tool." " you better be on auto pilot or Christmas better be in control." " Lees in control". " Marcia is here, her daughter has been taken." Dead silence greeted him. "ETA is about two hours bring her to the hanger."

In a plane headed for Brazil*

For the thousandth time Barney looked down at the picture, dark hair turned blue black by the sun. Eyes so bright blue they popped even on a photo, and snowy white skin. He smiled black Irish that's what she was he had never heard that term until he had met Marcia all those years ago. Marcia's younger sister Bridget had, the same coloring and complexion. But there the resemblance ended Bridget had been maybe five foot three and a little on the chunky side. This young women in the photo was different tall and lithe. He thought about all the time he had lost twenty five years. According to Marcia, she had told the girl he was dead. Haha sometimes he felt he was. But if he had known about her she could have given him a reason to live. Adaian Paxton Munroe "Pax" was what she preferred to be called. He didn't know that he could ever forgive Marcia. But at the same time he understood why she had done it. He had never been what you would call stable. Having Lance Munroe other wise known as church for a brother hadn't helped things.

When he has spoken with Marcia that night at the hanger he had wanted to strangle her pretty little neck. she had cried when she had told him about Pax. Contrary to what she had told Tool she had known why they had taking Pax. To get to him. Her worst fears realized her daughter had become a pawn, despite her best efforts. She had said Lance wanted to come himself but she had refused saying he had to hear it from her irregardless of circumstances. So she had made her husband Colin, and Lance stay behind. But to ease their anxiety she had brought her step son Ian. A day later he had received a call from a restricted number telling him that something had been found that he had lost and never even knew he had, and that it was being kept in safe keeping until he came to fetch it. He knew that voice it was Miguel Velaros. A thorn in his side. in the last three years shut down six of his drug operations on, accident really he just had his iron in way too many fires. But now it was personal.

Brazil*

Pax huddled on the ground in a dark corner of her "dungeon". It was actually more like a gilded cage then a dungeon. On the table across the room there was amazing smelling food on platters. Her mouth watered but she wouldn't eat it. Since she had arrived here she had been treated like guest. But previous to they had broke her ribs at least three and pummeled her face. She was pretty certain they had nearly broke her arm. But she had fought them and done her fair share of damage before the one they called Doner punched her knocking her out. Hence the pummeled face. There was no mirror in the room for her to look in. Whenever one came within food three came with them. She had found that amusing she wasn't even half any of there size. They were all large men. She wasn't short standing at nearly five eight and a half. They all towered over her.

She still had no idea why she was here. Other then her uncle had pissed off the wrong people, but still why would she be the one? Sure they were really close. But still it didn't make sense. When she had met her capture the only man of average height she had seen yet. She had asked him what he wanted with her? He had said you couldn't even imagine if you tried. So far she had been here three days she believed but she had been a little delirious with the pain from her ribs. They had been bound at some point since she came here but it wasn't tight enough. And they where no longer set. But she'd be damned before she let there slimy little doctor women near her. She hadn't ate or drank in days. And new that soon if she didn't escape her options would be running out. Her ribs where zapping her strength. She new her best bet was to set tight for the rescue that with all certainty would come, if Lance couldn't come himself he would send someone else. After all if your lost in the forest you stay put till someone finds you, right. Well maybe for some people but not her. Still in this instance she didn't know where she was, why she was here, and she wasn't going to be able to defend herself in her present state. Pax allowed herself to drift off into never, never land. They wouldn't be back for a while. Til dinner time. She awoke to guards running down the hall and yelling the room was dark except for safety lights. She instantly new they wold be coming for her she reacted struggling to her feet she hurried across the room to the firplace she had checked out the first day as a means of escape. The chimney was blocked off a few feet up. she would be safe until she new who was in the room with her, she grabbed ahold of the ladder with one arm and placed her foot on the wrung blinding pain seared her side so bad she couldn't breath and she felt something poke her lung. She had just managed to pull herself out of sight when her door crashed open. She heard threw the haze of pain "she's not here." She recognized the voice as one of her tormentors. She was trying to stay awake threw the pain her body was shacking uncontrollably. Then she heard Doners deep cold voice "come out, come out, where ever you are."She hung on even tighter. She new he'd find her. He had told her the chimney was blocked off so no escape there the day they had brought her here. Suddenly his head was inside the chimney"hello my love. He said" you can climb down or I will pull you down. But you and I are leaving here." she pulled herself up higher. "thats what I thought my beauty, when we are away from here I will have to beat you to teach you some manners." Suddenly he slumped forward into the fireplace falling face down, the largest Bowie she had ever seen sticking out of his back.

His body was pulled out of the way. A deep voice from her savior she couldn't see said "Pax. It's alright." The head of her rescuer appeared inside of the fireplace. Some else said "you find her?" Her rescuers head was now out of the fireplace "ya,she up there." He stuck his head back inside and said "climb down Pax we got to get out of here." That's when she spoke. " I might need help." Her voice was raspy. And heavily laden with a Irish accent. Actually just get out of the way" She closed her eyes and dropped feet first. She landed without any grace and stumbled forward. Strong hands caught her she instantly pulled away survival instincts she looked up at the impossibly tall man in front of her ready to fight to the death. His hands up "wow! easy I am here to help you."

Gunnar looked down at the women who had just stumble out of the fire place. Her face was bruised, and swollen her long hair hung stringy all around her face. soot covered her body, she instantly took on a defensive stance. But he could also tell she was injured she was protecting her right side and her arm was curled up like it was hurt also. "easy I am here to help you." He moved marginally closer. She stayed put starring him down. "My name is Gunnar that guy over there is Hale we are here to rescue you but we got to move." She looked at him he knew the moment, she decided to trust him.


	2. Chapter 2

Pax watched the giant as he reached out and took her arm. He soothingly said " can you keep up we have to move." Hale was close at hand drawing her attention from Gunnar. "Aye." Was her response looking back at Gunnar. He said" stay close two me." They left the room Gunnar in front Pax in between them. They made nearly outside of the mansion with no incident. Until they reached the Basement level they were supossed to exit from. Shots could be heard all over the mansion. They where about to head down the stairs when. A shot narrowly missed Hale hitting the wall. "Damn" hale said as Gunnar turned around and shot the person who shot at them. Pax watched the man fall he had been shot threw the eye. Hale said"we need to get the fuck out of here." Gunnar's hand went to Paxs shoulder" come on he said." They headed down into the basement Gunnar in front shielding her. She stumbled at the base of the stairs. Gunner moved them to safe location as safe as they could get. They were along way from out of the woods. He looked at Hale "why don't you clear the way." He said " give us a moment we will be right behind you." Gunnar gave her a couple moments. "We have to move. I need you to focus on seeing the sun picture it. I know your in pain. But just focus." She nodded and they began to move. They hadn't gotten far when Yang appeared beside them. "found him" he said into the mic. "He's got her." They hadn't gone much farther and they found Hale waiting for them. Ying said "she isn't looking so good."where, the hell is your mic?" Ying asked. "Broken" was Gunnar's only explanation.

Pax swayed a little she felt the man named Gunnar's hand touch her arm. She vaguely registered that there was someone there with them a new comer. She swayed and heard Gunnar say something then he swung her up into his arms the pain was blinding. She heard some more gun fire. But soon she new they where outside she felt the sun on her face. She was in a haze and fighting to stay conscious. they hit the dirt behind a wall as a explosion engulfed the whole building sending it crumbling to the ground Pax watched it happen as if in slow motion. She was being pulled to her feet and told to run. She didnt have to go far which was good and they reached a jeep and she climbed in setting close to Gunnar to make room for their companions. Within a short time she was being loaded onto a plane.

Barney watched the entrance saying come on come on under his breath. Finally Yang emerged followed by Gunnar carrying what had to be her. He let them make the wall and blew the building. She was obviously alive at least. He watched momentarily as Gunnar and Hale got her to her feet. He watched as Gunnar said something to her and they started running. Two behind one in front shielding her from as much harm as they could. He hadn't told any of them who she actually was. He hadn't wanted to complicate any thing. But Gunnar if he thought he would know just like Tool. They where the only ones who had been around long enough. Gunnar had been about twenty three probably when Marcia had run off. From there they ran to the jeep they had waiting Christmas had the plane engines fired up and waiting. With Bosco the help church had sent along. Barney looked at her as she painfully climbed into the jeep and cuddled herself closer to Gunnar when he climbed in behind her. Barney watched her in the mirror. She watched as Yang climbed in the back with his guns. Barney looked at Gunnar. Something passed between them unspoken. Hale climbed in. Pax registered a vague sense of recognition for the large dark fellow driving and her champion setting beside her. She watched him. Until a particularly hard bump made her cry out. She heard Gunnar say close to her ear" We are almost there." She nodded and bit her cheek to control the pain. She was barely conscious when they reached the plane.

Gunnar reached for her. He and Barney put her gently on the board Lee had instantly appeared with. Within moments she was strapped in and they were taking off. As soon as they where off the ground Gunnar and Yang went to work on her. Gunnar wouldn't normally be involved in this but she was bad really bad. She came to in the process of all of this. She started to struggle until she saw him his beanie was gone. She stayed partially conscious while they set her up to rewrap her ribs she grabbed Gunnar's hand a nearly screamed she mercifully pasted out between the morphine they gave her and the pain. Setting her shoulder they did ounce she was out. She cried out in pain but quickly passed back out

Barney came to the back of the plane after they were safely away. He looked at Gunnar and Ying where they both set close at hand. "how is she?" Ying stated "shes pretty banged up I am not doctor but she's ruff." Barney looked down at her where she lay on the cot. Her face was cleaner then it had been but that wasn't much of a improvment someone much bigger then her had punched her at least ounce. The thought made his fists clench. Ying wondered off to the bathroom. Gunnar said"she a tuff little cookie I figure four broken ribs. One of which is poking at her lung and a dislocated shoulder, a bruised and swollen face and she walked out well most of the way. I'd say she's a chip off the block." Barney didn't even look at him "you know then?" Gunnar smiled that lopsided grin and huffed "ya, She shares some of your features I am hoping that goes away ounce the swelling is down." Barney gave a short almost laugh. Gunnar went on she will be alright if we can keep her from going into shock."

Barney pulled out his cell and called Marcia's number. "Hello" was the answer "we've got her should be touching down in four hours."Marcia asked " how is she can i talk to her." Barney said "no she is sedated, she's pretty banged up, she's gonna be okay. you better get ahold of lance and have a ambulance at the airstrip Gunnar said he thinks she got a few broken ribs and that one is rubbing her lung." Marcia said"o.k." after a short pause "did you find her?" some of the tension left his shoulders "nope that would be Gunnar he found her up a blocked off chimney." Marcia laughed a little

When they arrived at the hanger Pax was still unconscience. barney watched as the peromedics loaded her onto the stretcher. Marcia approached him and started to speak. Barney cut her off "this isn't done Marcia we need to talk and soon." she shook her head and said "yes, are you coming to the hospital?"

"yes I have to go home and shower then I will be there."


	3. Damaged

**There are no unlock able doors. **

** There are no unwinnable wars**

** There are no unwrightable wrongs.**

**Or unsingable songs.**

** Lyrics from I just want you by Ozzy**

* * *

Barney arrived at the hospital in less then a hour. He hadn't gone home to shower he had done it at the hanger. Just donning less dirty cloths. Both Tool and Gunnar had offered to go with him. He told then no. Gunnar had gone home with express wishes for Barney to let him know how she was doing. Tool waited around until the others had gone. When Barney exited the bathroom he looked up surprised to see his long time friend.

"You didn't think I'd leave did you?" He asked rhetorically.

"I guess not." Came Barney's reply.

"what do you plan to do my friend? How you gonna handle this?" Tool asked bluntly. Barney shook his head and ran his fingers threw his hair. "Really I don't know."

Tool said "Don't be to hard on her, if you can figure out how not to be."

Barney arrived at the hospital angry. He knew he had to get it under control but,damn it all he have given anything. She had gone on to live a full life married, and had more children. She could have left if she wanted too he would never have stopped her. But she had stollen something so precious he couldn't even believe it. Still it didn't seem possible and he had seen the proof with his own two eyes. He knew he had to control it for the sake of Pax. The girl thought he was dead. That was almost laughable, in its self.

He entered the emergency room waiting area to find Marcia setting with her head buried in her hands. He recognized her step son, and assumed the man setting beside her was her husband he bore a resembelence to his son only he had red hair. The man said something to Marcia and she looked up. Instantly coming to her feet, and saying "Barney." The man beside her rose also. She looked at him for a moment like she was stunned to see him standing there looking at her. He came closer and held out his hand to the red haired man standing beside her. The man clasped his hand in return. "Barney and you are?" The man said "Colin, Marcia's husband." Marcia had gained her wits. She said "the doctor was just out, he said she was going to be fine. They are going to do eX-rays but he feels pretty confident her rib didn't puncture her lung. He said her shoulder was set beautifully. He doesn't believe she has any fractures in her face either. He did say that she came to and asked for Gunnar, she kept telling the doctor he saved her." At this point they were all set down. "He did. She had climbed up a blocked off chimney to hide when hell broke loose. Gunnar said one of the men had his head in there taunting her, and there was another standing behind him. Gunnar took care of them both and got her out. He said shes tuff." Marcia smiled sadly "she's had be she has been through a lot. I didn't tell you this before but she was married, had a daughter owned her own photography business, her husband Derrick was a certified pipe welder. One Saturday she went out to take some client portraits. Derrick took there little girl Abby to a reptile show." she paused for a moment" they were hit by a drunk driver on the way home both died, thats when Pax my little wide eyed dreamer started to run." Colin stood and said "come on Ian I think they need some privacy." Marcia watched them wander off. You see Derrick had left her a eight hundred and fifty thousand dollar life insurance policy. she payed off their house and debt. Left her with around six hundred thousand. They also had saved some money. Then when Rachel, Colin's mother passed she left her five hundred thousand. She doesn't have to work so she runs. She doesn't ever stay long in one place and certainly not in the states." It's been over two years and she won't even look at another man." she paused for a moment "or think about staying in anyone place."

" i had a granddaughter?" Barney asked in disbelief. Marcia pulled out her phone and pulled up her Facebook page. Scrolling to the pictures of Abby and handed the phone to Barney. "I know you hate me, and you should, but understand I was terrified of what just happened to her. I was so young and scared of some bad man stealing my baby in the middle of the night. I am not asking you to forgive me, I don't think I could if I was in your position. I won't try to stop you two from having a relationship. But please Barney can we wait to tell her until she's better" Barney set deep in thought anger simmering just below the surface. He made no reply. Eventually he said "how do expect our twenty four year old daughter to except this? She has been told her whole life I was dead. she could very well hate me, when she figures out who and what I am. She could end up hating you for keeping this from her. No matter your reasons. It's a tangled web Marcia." She knew he was right, she had feared what her reaction was going to be from the moment she had been taken. "I am surprised she didn't recognize you. I have a couple pictures that she has always takes them with her, and Gunnar for that matter is in one of them with us."

Pax was In the hospital grrrrrr! She didn't like hospitals. But one good thing was she had so much morphine in her she wasn't feeling much pain. They had put her on a iv apparently she was so dehydrated her blood was black. They had said two more days and she could go home. Her mom wanted to take her to North Carolina apparently they were in New Orleans. She didn't know why exactly they were here, her mom said they would talk more later. Which was good because she had questions. There was a lot she didn't remember,and other things she needed to know like why. She still didn't know who that man Gunnar was, but he was familiar. It was frustrating she new she should know. but her mind wasnt co-operating with her. She knew she had seen him before. She had asked her mother, and she had said not now she needed to wait until they were home. Her uncle had done his typical evasive redirection tactic he used, when he wasn't going to give you a straight answer. She knew she wouldn't get anything out of him.

She looked around her room four vases of flowers set nearby, one from her mom tulips bright blue and yellow. One from her uncle star gazer Lillie's. The other two from her younger siblings. Ian had been in and left a envelope titled our next adventure. It held brochures for a cape buffalo hunt. She loved him he was her favorite brother. The others hadn't been too the hospital. Brenna, Amara had left for Ireland a while ago to spend the summer with aunt Cathy. Rory was in the Middle East, life of a soldier. And Liam and Beth where in New York they had just had their first baby. The nurse entered and interrupted her thoughts. She was a overly cheery little thing. She helped Pax navigate to the bathroom, and get in the shower. She waited quietly while Pax showered. Her mom had brought her some decent shampoo, conditioner and body wash. Along with a pair of work out shorts and a tank top which the nurse helped her pull up over her hips,and put her one available arm through the hole. They moved back to the bed, where the nurse helped her towel dry her hair brush and pull it up in a ponytail. Pax had looked at her face in the mirror the nurse presented, and burst up wincing her poor ribs."holy cannoli," she said " I look like a horror movie." miss cheery smiled" you don't look that bad."

Her mom came back about a hour later. Pax was flipping through the channels on the t.v. She handed her, her iPad and charger. Pax smiled at her mom. "Thank you." She said "Colin, thought you might want this he brought it with him when he came back. He will be in after a bit he had to take care of some stuff." Marcia set down on the foot of the bed. "Ian called he thinks you should stay with him for a bit, that way you would be here easier to see the doctor who has been taking care of you." Pax nodded" we will see, he's right though it Would make it easier."after a short pause she said "why am I even in New Orleans?" Marcia took a deep breath. "This is where you were brought after..." There was a pause and Pax new her mom was in turmoil. Pax put her good hand on her moms arm. "Please, mom talk to me." There was a pregnant silence while Marcia visibly struggle with herself, finally as if deflated she said"The men that came after you live here." Pax nodded "the giant who rescued me lives here?" Then as if by magic something clicked she new. "He is the other man in the photo. Gunnar" Marcia noted the way his name sounded with Paxs still heavy accent, it sounded more like gooner then Gunnar." You knew him he was a friend of my das." Marcia nodded "Yes" then another piece of the puzzle clicked the dark man driving the jeep. She had nearly forgotten him. Pax shook her head and said "no" she had to be mistaken. It had to have been the pain and her semi conscious state. "No" again she tried to get out of bed. Marcia had stood up she said "Pax, honey calm down. Please." Pax staired at her mother. She pushed herself out of bed past her mother. "He couldn't have been, it wasna. But she knew in her gut it had been. "My real father he was there." Pax staired at the floor. "How could that be, mum" She didn't even give her mother a moment to answer"oh god, you knew all this time. of course you knew." Marcia tried to touch Pax but she pulled away. "oh god and that's why I was taken, not because of uncle lance. Because someone else new who I really was and used it to get to him." a nurse came into check on them and Pax asked her to leave. She set down on the side of the bed head down tears streaming down her cheeks and splattering on her hands. "Please,mom" she said as she raised her head to look at her mom. Marcias heart was braking she shook her head yes.

She pulled the chair closer to the bed set down and placed her hands on Paxs hands. "I was twenty six your father was thirty two." She took a deep breath and staired off into space. "I still remember the first time I saw him like it was yesterday. It was Mardi Grau, and the streets of this city were packed with people. When I first saw him that night, my friend Collette and I were at Pat O'Briens. He started out as part of a bet." Marcia smiled sadly. We had a bet going that none of us had the nerve to get a phone number. Particularly me I was painfully shy the deal was Collette got to pick the guy and I had to shmooz my way to his number. So I was heavily fortified with liquid courage jack and coke to be exact. Obviously a hard case I had been watching him and his group of friends covertly since they came in. He was tall and muscular. Besides that he wasn't above average in the looks department but the women flocked around him anyway. It was the power and dangerous air that drew them in. collette always up to no good chose one of his group not him particularly it was Tool that was her first choice. But she changed her mind mid sentence she wanted him for herself. So she redirected me too your father. My memory gets a little foggy about the particulars I don't remember a lot besides I ended up on the back of his Harley before the night was over and in the morning he had my number. "

"I didn't hear from him for about two weeks he showed up at my house I rented with Collette in Boston. I was shocked he new i lived in Boston but I had never given him a address. He explained it was part of his job to find people, and the reason that he hadn't contacted me sooner was that he had to leave the states for a couple of weeks."

from there it was a whirlwind he stayed at a hotel in Boston and we dated for about two weeks. He told me about his job before he left to go back to New Orleans and said if I could handle it which he hoped I could to give him a call. It took me a couple weeks but having Lance for a brother helped the adjustment. I didn't talk to lance about him right away actually for months. He just new I dated a man who lived in New Orleans his name was Barney and he worked in the export and import business. I really liked your father and Lance was over protective. So I hid the truth from him. We long distance dated for awhile when that got old. Barney asked me to move to New Orleans he helped me find a place and I got a job managing a restaurant. We where happy after about a year we moved in together. Lance had met Barney and decided he liked him alright. A few months later I found out I was pregnant with you. Fear drove me I was terrified recently one of you're fathers old business associates family had been murdered. Wife and daughter because he had tangled with the wrong people. So I waited until they left on a job called lance and he helped me to disappear. I moved to Galloway, and the rest you know." Marcia met Paxs gaze "and I am sorry love so sorry for all of it." Pax pulled her hands back and looked at her mom who's face was swollen from crying. Pax tried to absorb all of this. She was angry at her mom on some levels. But understood on others. " I think I will stay with Ian for a bit." Marcia looked close to tears again. Pax said" I don't hate you mom, but I am hurt and angry. But I do understand what drove you. I just need time, and being here gives me a chance to see my da."

. She had said she would give her time and told her to call if she needed her. She had left her with the address too Tools place, and a phone number for her father. She picked up the phone and called Ian. She explained things to Ian as best she could and he had been understanding, and said he'd stop by after work.


	4. Chapter 4

**I stand amid the roar **

**of a surf tormented shore,**

**and hold within my hand**

**grains of golden sand **

**from a Dream within a dream by Edger Allen Poe**

* * *

Two days later Pax was climbing out of Ian's truck. His seat sucked they made her ass hurt. Which was stupid. If you're dumb enough to pay fifty grand for a truck you should have comfortable seats. It was the same old argument she payed twenty grand for her 2002 ford-f250 short bed, super cab, with its 5 inch exhaust, and power stroke V-8 7.3 diesel. Its seats were comfy.

Ian helped her down. The stupid brace they had given her for her ribs was dumb. It was uncomfortable at best. She felt a twinge of pain, and that's what she got for complaining. Ian opened up the back door of his truck to grab the pizza they had picked up on the way home. He looked at her and smiled " come on little sister." He said with affection. " you know the more yellow your face turns and with the swelling gone, I find I don't feel so bad for you." She smiled "you're a ass, Ian Munroe." he unlocked the door, and let her in. "If memory serves me correctly, little sister when I wrecked my dirt bike, and broke ribs, collar bone, and tore the tendons in my arm, you made fun of me." Pax smirked as she opened the box of pizza, Ian had placed on the table. Ian handed her a plate. She helped herself to, two slices and head for the living room. Ian hollered "hey, you took my piece of pizza, the one with bubbly crust." Pax laughed took a big bite, and went "mmmmm."

"Brat." Ian replied as he set down in his chair. After he got done eating, he asked "so what do you want to do this afternoon?" Pax replied " I was hoping I could borrow your truck." Ian leaned forward in his chair " do you plan of finding your father?" Pax shook her head yes. "Do you want me to come with you?" Pax gave a nervous shake of the head and said "no, I need to do this on my own." Ian said "alright, I have some stuff I can do at the shop. If you need me give me a call." Pax gave a nervous smile and replied "will do big brother."

After Ian left Pax was almost consumed by panic. Then she got hold of herself. She could do this she wasn't afraid of anything. Even, given recent life events, she Adain Paxton Munroe was tuff. She debated whether to call her father or not. She decided on the or not option." Her mum had brought her cloths to Ian's so she picked out a pair of indigo true religion jeans, black leather flat soled keen boots that came right below her knees a north face tank top that was designed to be loose, and pulled her hair back in a pony tail that hung almost to her waist. She looked in the mirror as she brushed her teeth, and decided there was no help for her face. The swelling was gone but it was that sickening yellow. She decided this would have to do, it was as close to dressed up as she got.

Ian left the house and jumped in his company truck when he reached the end of the road he called Marcia. When she picked he said " she going looking for him."

Outside of Pat O'Briens*

Pax had decided she needed to see where it had all started. She stood outside of the unopened bar, and stared at it. This is where it had all begun. She tried to imagine her mother twenty five years ago. She had been stunning Pax knew that much. But past that she didn't know. After at least a half hour of pondering she pulled out her phone and took a couple pics of the place, jumped into Ian's truck and headed to the address of the man named Tool. First on her list she needed to see her da, second she wanted to see the giant who found her.

She contemplated knocking on this guy Tools door and asking about her dad, but she decided she wanted to do some surveillance first. She pulled the truck up a quarter mile away and got out. She stared at the seemingly unimposing structure in a n warehouse district close to downtown. She climbed back into the truck and waited a bit. She watched a couple of Harley's arrive from the opposite direction. They rolled into through the open garage bay door. Tool looked up from the tattoo he was working on his gun stopped buzzing. Toll Road and Yin took off their helmets. Tool asked" is there a big grey dodge setting down the street?" Toll said "ya." Tool excused himself grabbed his phone and went in back. Pushing 3 on his speed dial. "Ya?" Was the answer.

"Hey, Barney there's a big grey dodge setting just aways down the road" Tool was emerging from the back room and stopped talking" you need to come by now, I believe you have a visitor."

Pax was nervous as she pulled up closer to the warehouse. She pulled Ian's truck up across the street and parked it. She jumped out and hit the look switch. She had to pause and take a deep breath before she stepped around the front of the truck. She crossed the street, and walked in through the open bay door. The big guy who was emerging from the back paused said something into his phone and hung up. He had about shoulder length black hair threaded with gray. He smiled at her, putting her at ease. " Gunnar, was right. I'd know you anywhere even with the bruise." She smiled in return. Yin and Toll just set staring at her since the mission it had come out who she really was. They still had issues with the thought of Barney being someone's dad.

Tool came over and hugged her, A saying "I am Tool." she smiled he continued "you must be Pax." she shook her haed yes. "I have a picture of my da you are init so is Gunnar." Tool stared at her a moment, then said" sorry, Darla as he went back to work on his customer. "Make yourself at home." She smiled " really I just need a address or number the phone number mum gave me didn't work." It was the first time she had spoke since she walked through the door, and they were all caught off guard by the heavy Irish accent. Toll jumped up and came over sticking out his hand. "Hey, I'm Toll you were pretty out of it, I doubt you remember me." She shook his hand and smiled "nay, sorry." Tool smiled that accent was enchanting with her nays and sooory. The short asian man came forward she smiled " I remember you, you helped bind my ribs." At that point they heard another bike pulling up. Tool said "hey Darla boys lets move this in back."

Barney pulled into the shop and shut off his bike, and took off his helmet. Pax couldn't help herself she smiled. He returned that shy smile, got off his bike and looked at her, "so it's you" he said"aye was her reply. The accent was cute, he decided. She walked to him and hugged him, Barney wasn't sure what to do at first,but he wrapped his arms around her, and she said"aye, it's me da." Barney hugged her a little tighter, but conscious of her ribs. He decided right there Irish accents were his favorite.

Pax left Tools shop on the back of her fathers bike. It made her wish her M.V. Wasn't in Liam's garage in upstate New York but when she had brought it over, from Nevada, Ian had been living up there also. When he moved to New Orleans, he had left it with Liam. She needed to call him and see if he'd bring it down when he came.

She spent the rest of that day and all of the next with her father. They talked about everything. Pax found she loved his stories, and his sense of humor. She laughed until she cried. They talked about everything, her childhood, her relationships with her siblings, how she had always felt closer to Ian then any of the others. She told him about her wedding and that Ian had been her maid of honor. He found that entertaining. Abby she talked about with a saddened heart. It was heartbreaking to think his twenty four year old daughter had suffered so much already in life. He found out she took photos everywhere she went and sold them free lance. She was a rather amazing young women. Passionate about anything and everything, strong brave and a little on the crazy side.

she had hunted Cape buffalo, BASE jumped, mountain climbed, basically if it was extreme she'd tried it.


	5. Chapter 5

My hands are tied,

my body bruised,

shes got me with nothing to

win, and nothing

left to loose

verse from With or without you by U2

* * *

Pax double checked the address after she pulled up in front of the house. She must admit the two story brick building in front of her was small, but what was it with these guys this wasn't a house it had to have been a warehouse or store of some type when it was built it set on the water front a good sized lot surrounded it with big trees that resembled a willow growing in the yard. She loved it her fingers itched to grab her camera. She pulled in the yard and shut off her truck, it felt good to drive her truck. Her mom had brought it in yesterday. then spent the night at Ian's she hadn't gone there until elevenish, and contrary to what she had been expecting, her mother didn't push her for any info. She had worn a pair of medium blue jeans a white loose white t shirt and brown boots. Her hair pulled back in a messy bun and her aviators on her head. She walked across the yard and rang the doorbell.

Gunnar was just getting ready to jump in the shower When the doorbell rang, water running, and everything. Who the hell could that be. He shut the water off and ran down stairs careful not to trip over anything, this place was his project. Stagings were set up in various different place power cords littered the floor materials stacked up in corners. Gunnar opened the door just as she was getting in her truck. She turned back when she heard the door, and smiled when she saw him. She wasn't far away maybe thirty feet if that. A Lopsided smile slowly curved his lips, he put his hands on the door frame and took in her appearance. she started towards him, and it was plain to see her facial swelling was gone all that was left was a fading yellow bruise. Her eyes were so bright a shade of blue they kept grabbing his attention. Even with that angry yellow her eyes were stunning. She was standing in front of him now. He looked down at her and said as his lopsided smile broadened into a full on grin"you look better, much better." she answered "yes, if you can ignore the yellow." They stood in a tense silence while Gunnar stared at her a moment longer. when he finally said " you don't really look like either of your parents, yet I can see them both." she smiled. Gunnar stepped back making a gesture with his hand that wasn't on the door jam for her to come in. As she stepped inside she was hit by how amazing this place was. The walls were a age brick, time had worn away the red color they were a old brown. The room she had entered was huge, it had too take up half of the down stairs. The room had a cathedral ceiling the roof joisat we're at least at least a foot square, square columns reached up to meet them. Cast iron fastening held it all together a balcony ran across the upper level and hanging centered from it was a sign that said Lafferty's dry goods and mercantile. Pax pulled herself together realizing she was being rude. Just standing there gawking roomier surroundings. "Wow," she said in amazement " this place is amazing."she looked at him and said "ya, it's alright." She could tell he was being humble. Pax said "as for your earlier comment, I favor my aunt Bridget, mum says I look like her." Gunnar thought to himself as she looked around the room, maybe in coloring he remembered Bridget, but she was way beyond Bridget.

He offered her a place to sit she set down on a oversized brown leather chair. He set down on the couch across from her stretching his ridiculously long legs out onto the coffee table. "I am glad you stopped by." he went on "did Barney give you directions?"

" yes, I wanted to see you. So I could thank you for what you did for me."

"how you doing with all that anyway?"

"alright, my mum wants me to talk about it,see someone, she said I can't keep it inside."

Gunnar nodded listening intently she went on "I have a really hard time excepting her advice right now." she shook herself mentally this was the last thing he wanted to hear about she was sure." sorry" she said and smiled. " It's alright." He said, noting that the more he heard her accent the more he liked it. "so" he went on " I have to go to a lumber yard about a hour away to get some stuff, you want to ride along." She smiled " you can ask me all those questions, you are dieing for answers for." She smiled and nodded "sure, why not." Gunnar jumped up " great!" he said as he rubbed his hands together." well I got to get in the shower. Make yourself at home. Grab something to drink, explore the place. There's a pretty amazing view from the back yard. But don't eat, I'll take you to lunch" he finished as he ran up the stairs. Pax watched him run up the stairs his long legs taking them three at a time. When he came back downstairs she was on the dock behind the house. She looked up when she heard the screen door slam. "You were right this place is amazing! Almost magical really. " magical that's one way of putting it, he thought. As he walked toward her, when he reached her he said "we better get going". She started down the dock beside him.

They went inside and so he could lock up then he she followed him to the garage. He talked to her about this place how he had bought it from and elderly couple six years ago, had it rezoned to residential. He had done a lot of work but there was still a lot he wanted to accomplish. She listened contentedly, liking the stories of his plans. When he opened the garage door and they stepped inside. She got this ridiculous expression on her face when she saw what was setting there. Itwas a 1978 Chevy pickup gun metal grey, with a four inch lift. Gunnar watched her close to laughter. Her facial expression range from surprise two giddiness. He walked over and opened the door for her. She gave him a toothy grin and got in. He closed the door after her. Chuckling over her ridiculous reaction to his truck. For some reason it made his chest puff out a little. He liked that she approved of his stuff. He walked around and got in, hitting the garage door opener then firing it up. Pax said "Holy crap, I am in love" he laughed" what is the motor a small block 350 by any chance. He said "ya" kind of surprised as they pulled out of the garage. The exhaust rumbling threw her chest he gave it a little gas and it sound more like animal. "That's it my palms are sweaty, hey hearts racing, I am having a hard time forming rational thoughts, I am in love." Gunnar laughed again glancing at her as they pulled out of the driveway and hit pavement. She said " look I am shaking." She held her hands out and sure enough they were. He shook his head laughing at her again. "Your odd, not in a bad way just odd." she looked at him waggling her eyebrows " we'll don't baby it." he smiled again greatly amused. He stepped on it in second gear going about thirty and his tires broke free from the pavement. He said " you know, kid I think this ,might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship." She chuckled "and you can quote Bogart! Wow you are my new hero,Gunnar Jensen."

By the end of their day, Pax new she hadn't had that much fun with anyone person in years. He took her to have crawdads for lunch, she had never had them before, she was surprised she liked them. He was funny and playful. They spent hours just talking she asked hundreds of questions all of which he answered,or laughed at. She asked him about her mom when she was young. He said she was beautiful. He asked her about her childhood and where she had grown up. She told him about Galway and Ireland. He playfully informed her Irish accents had always been his favorite.

By the time they got back, Pax was thinking he was right it was a beautiful friendship or the beginning of one.

When they pulled in she helped him unload his stuff as much as she could. She needed to be going but she really didn't want to, she liked hanging out with him. But the time came and she had to go. He would meet her at Molly's later anyway, that was the plan so she could meet the rest of the guys. So she said goodbye and hopped in her truck to drive back to Ian's. Gunnar stood at his window and watched her drive off, that crooked smile on his face. He couldn't wait till tonight.

And I ask you, friend, what's a fella to do

'Cause her hair was black and her eyes were blue

And I knew right then I'd be takin' a whirl

'Round the Salthill Prom with a Galway girl

lyrics from Galway Girl by Steve Earle


	6. Chapter 6

All I can do is be me

whoever that is

Bob Dylan

* * *

Molly's Bar later that night*

Barney walked into Molly's with his Pax, around eight o'clock that night. He could tell by the line up outside, that they weren't all there yet which was fine. He smiled looking at her, he had sure done a lot of that the last few days. She was a very vibrant person. Animated better described her. Actually he didn't think there was anyone word you could use. Like right now here, she was in motion tucking her hair behind her ear, fidgeting with her jacket zipper. He face was so animated her eyes spoke there own language. He loved it. It was refreshing when you lived in a world of blank stares, and duplicity. After they walked in he led her to a table near the dance floor. Tool was already there along with Hale, Toll, and Yang. Hellos were said. She took a place between her father and Tool. She looked around the bar it was defiantly a biker bar, lots of black leather and several mullets. haha she laughed to herself maybe it wasn't that bad. She just wasn't a bar girl, the only reason she went was to dance! She liked to be swung around the floor. She Had never seen the point of drinking every weekend. adrenalin was her vice.

Toll said "So Pax, I hear you BASE jump. I've always wanted to try it."

"It's the ultimate rush! I highly recommend it! There's nothing like flying threw the air at two hundred plus miles a hour." she said" The moment you jump off that cliff and start falling. It's like your alive I mean really alive. Everything else fades away, the only thing that exists is that moment. Your hearts racing you have more clarity then you've ever had in your life." Tool said "you make it sound so romantic." Yin said "actually she's pretty much dead on, I've done it also. I think it's better then sex personally." Pax nodded in agreement "actually he's right." She agreed her facing turning red. Tool laughed so did the others. Pax went on to say "anyway, Toll it's amazing!" Pax was so engrossed in conversation she didn't even realize some one had brought them beers. Until she realized she was drinking it. Noticing her confusion Yin said "it didn't appear by magic the waitress brought five minutes ago."

At that moment Gunnar and a mam she assumed was Lee walked up. Gunnar said hey and set down across from her. Lee introduced himself and took a seat by Barney. Lee started to say something Toll waved him off saying We are in the middle of a conversation" he looked back at Pax winking. "how many times have you jumped?"

"That's hard, let me think. I would estimate some where near thirty probebly, give or take." Toll laughed"no shit." He said Hale said "your crazy." Toll said " what was your biggest vertical drop?"

" forty one hundred feet." Lee said "are we talking BASE jumping?" Barney said "yup."

Lee asked "where was that from?"

" Mount Thor, it's in Canada."

Toll asked " Where was your last jump?"

"Troll Wall, Norway." Gunnar said " that's Illegal."

"yup it is!" She said with a smile " I have good friend, who's just as crazy as me!" Looking down at her bottle sheepishly. When she looked up she had a impish grin on her pretty little face.

Toll asked "whys it illegal?" Gunnar answered for her " because its so difficult to get rescue personal in there if they need them, you get hurt your fucked." Barney asked "how do you know so much about it!"

"I've jumped from it also." Pax cocked a eyebrow and asked "oh really, before or after it became illegal?"

"after."he replied with a cocky grin. She kept eye contact with him, giving him an amused look until Toll spoke up again"I am curious" Toll inquired " how at 24 you have jumped around thirty times. You need like two hundred hours of parachute time first."

"That ones easy I started skydiving at fifteen, my step fathers sister, my Aunt Jolien is a instructor, I was on the plane every time there was a empty seat. I hit my two hundred before I moved to the states, my first jump I was eighteen when we were in Mexico on vacation!"

Toll asked"How much does a suit cost?" a curious look on his face.

"wouldn't spend less then Five thousand, but anywhere from a grand to a million." Her eyes huge to emphasize her point.

"Holy, shit!"He said, She laughed "I tell you what when you get ready to do it, let me know! I will hook you up!" He nodded his head "alright, thanks."

Lee said "Well, now that we know your crazy. What other crazy hobbies do you have?"

"Well...I have drove the autobahn at one hundred miles a hour, done some big game hunting, snowboarding, rock climbing, white water rafting, and really I don't know whatever else catches my interest dirt bikes, street bikes, cliff diving." Lee said "your a adrenalin junky."

"Ya, it's a addiction, I need it, but everyone has there vice." That got a chuckle. Tool said "hey Gunnar I am curious, Yin says BASE jumping is better then sex, and evil knaevel over there agrees with him whats your opinion?" Gunnar folded his arms across his chest leaned back and smirked. "Ha,pretty close, I'd chose sex though."

A tall slender brunette walked over to the table carrying a tray of beers she handed them out when she got to Pax she said "Hi, I'm Molly and you must be Pax." Pax reached up to brush some hair behind her ear as she said " yes. Nice to meet you." She reached and shook Molly's hand. Molly said taking her hand " Barney, you didn't tell me she was Irish. Or that she was stunning." Pax blushing slightly said thank you, your sweet." Molly preceded to pick up empties."Where about in Ireland are you from,I'dsay by the accent county Galway?" a look of surprise crossed her already animated

features "aye, actually the city itself." Molly said well "I left Ireland twenty six years ago, but I can still place a accent. I was born in Belfast." Pax moved forward on her seat always excited to meet someone else from her home land. "Do you miss it?" Molly laughed "Yes, I sometimes think about going back." the place was getting very busy, Molly looked around and said "why don't you stop by sometime, and we can talk about selkies, and little green men." Pax put, her hands on the table clasping then together "I'd like that!"

Pax got up and excused herself to use the bathroom. oh great she thought one and a half beers and your already tipsy, she giggled somethings always stayed the same. She was hoping to practice moderation tonight. if she didn't she was gonna end up like the Blake Shelton song the more I drink. That made her laugh again. she didn't know why she tried to kid herself that's the real reason she didn't drink! she came out of the bathroom looking down at her shirt and ran smack dab into someone. looking up quickly she said "oh I am..." it was her brothers friend josh he reminded her of Matt Walst. She laughed steadying her" hey Pax!" in surprise "What are you doing here?" Giving her a big hug. "If you must know, I am here with my da!" Josh shook his head "oh right, your real dad." After a moment he said "wow, Pax what happened to that face I like so much?"

"I had a bit of a accident, but I am fine."

"Ian told me you were staying with him because of your dad and, you'd broken a few ribs but he didn't say anything about that." Right then I used to love her, but I had to kill her started to play! One of her all time favorite g and r songs. He put his beer down held out his hand "come on I know you love this song, we can dance like teenagers " She laughed " My ribs" was her reply! "Come princess, I've seen you do the axle." She grabbed his beer downed it and took his hand and, away they went. She stole a cowboy hat from one of Josh's friends on the way by, it was small with rolled up sides. They preceded to go to the dance floor and she did the axle giggling and laughing the whole time.

At the table they all set in conversation until Lee happened to glance at the dance floor. He gave a short bark of laughter and said "Barney, what's wrong with your daughter?" Barney looked at him confused and asked "why?" Lee nodded toward the dance floor. Soon they were all watching her, amused. there was a lot of careful bouncing, and even some jumping. When the song was over Hale said " that was some funny, ass shit." When they got to the table, Hale started clapping "you're a little ass aren't you!" She smiled even wider. lee asked "what was that supposed to be?"

" that,"she said smoothing her shirt. And saying in a cocky voice "was the axle, if your lucky," waggling her eyebrows" there will be a second show, the angus!" Gunnar said "I'd almost pay money, to see that one." She looked up meeting hales eyes and said, "you wish you had my mad skills, yo!"

"Anyways, everybody I'd like you to meet josh, josh this is my dad Barney, Toll,Hale, Lee, Tool, Yang, and Gunnar. Guys this Josh."

They set around drinking for the next couple of hours. Josh pulled up a chair and joined them. Off and on Pax set with her head resting on Josh's shoulder. At one point, Tool asked how they new each other. She had explained Josh was actually her brothers business partner. That he, and Ian had met in collage, and Josh had became a fixture in the family. Something else became apparent to Tool as the night progressed the more animated she got with alcohol, the more Gunnar watched her. It was also obvious this josh guys interests in Pax weren't purely friendship. He wasn't the only one that noticed Gunnar did also. When Josh made his excuses, and took off the majority of Pax's attention, turned to Gunnar she even moved to sit beside him. she payed equal attention to all them really, just her eyes, and demeanor changed. She commented on all the conversations. But her physical attention was turned to him. Oh hell he was confusing himself but he knew what he meant. She was trying to sooth the beast, so to speak. Even if she didn't know it.

Later that night*

When Gunnar climbed into bed that night, he found himself thinking about her. There day and then the bar tonight. She had a huge personality. Hell he had been enthralled by her most of the night, and the day. She asked random things, she was hard to fallow sometimes. He went to sleep with a smile on his face.


	7. 7

Give a cheer for all the broken

* * *

Holy crap, she felt like ass, it tasted like something had died in her mouth. Oh her ribs hurt, that was it she was good, she could live without another sip of alcohol for at the very least a year. She set up,and her head throbbed so unfortunately did her ribs. She reached for her ibuprofen and her bottle of water. Nice the water made her mouth taste worse. She got up and hobbled to the bathroom. When she passed through the living room, Ian busted up laughing." You look a little ruff today, little sister." She flipped him off and kept going. When she got in the bathroom, she looked in the mirror. Nice! She thought you look sexy, her face was all puffy, hair sticking up, her mum would say she slept in her hair. She took the toothbrush out of the cup, added some tooth paste and started brushing. She hobbled to the shower, and turned it on.  
She shed her cloths climbed in and finished brushing her teeth in the shower. She washed and conditioned her. Then scrubbed herself careful off her ribs. She brushed them, lightly and it almost made her cry. She stood in the shower along time and let the hot water hit them. When she finally climbed out the ibuprofen had started working, and combined with the hot water she felt better. She dried off some. Opened the bathroom door and hollered close your eyes she scurried across the living room.  
She was getting dressed when the phone rang. She looked at the screen a smile spreading across her lips." If it isn't my most favorite, uncle." She answered. There was a chuckle on the other end" why yes , yes it is. Smarty!"  
"And what continent may I ask are you on this fine day?"  
"Why North America, Paxton."  
"What city are you in?"  
"Well I am going to be in New Orleans, until this afternoon. Would you like to spend the morning with me?"  
"Yes" she said with excitement." like I would miss a opportunity to hang out with the coolest uncle ever."  
"Alright, smarty pants. I will be at your brothers in about ten minutes."  
"K! Got go, bye!  
They were setting at a park on the river Paxs head resting on his shoulder. Blue jeans rolled up flip flops. and blue hoodie on. Hair braided and hanging over one shoulder. They were eating breakfast! "How are things with your dad?" Pax smiled, and set up "good I love him." Lance watched her face she cocked her head to the side, and squinted at him. "Are you mad at your mom?" She straightened up, and looked out across the river kicking her feet, her flip flops landing in the grass I front of her. "No." She said as she shook her head. She jumped up, and grabbed her flip flops. Turning to face her uncle she said "I never really was, I understand what compelled her to do it, she was afraid, and I can also understand why you helped her." She walked back over and set back down. " did she ask you to come here?" He shook his head no as he swallowed his bite."No, I was talking to her yesterday, and told her I was going to come here so I could see you." He paused to take a drink" I miss my favorite niece, I don't get to see you much unless your out doing the international thing."  
"Ya, know you should feel privileged you have a niece who so cool like that."  
"I understand that this time is for you to get to know your dad, but just shoot your mom a text. So she knows you think about her. Oh, and about the niece thing you wouldn't be half so cool if wasn't for your uncle, I taught you how to be cool." She stood there with her hands on her hips doing the whole head bob. "Oh, hell no." He gave her that smug smile as he threw his wrapper away. "Oh, yes so now what?" He asked looking down at his watch" we got four hours."  
"I know, I know!" She said bouncing around "let's go fishing!"  
"Fishing?" He thought about it minute. "Alright."  
They fished, they didn't catch a thing but they went to Ian's got gear, and went. She cried when they said goodbye. After all he was one of her most important people.

From there she went in search of her dad. When he wasn't at home she went to Tools. Sure enough he was having Tool do some work on his back. She had discarded her sweatshirt and was in a pantera tank top. Barney smiled at her "You look awful chipper for someone as drunk as you were last night." She had came over by Tool to watch his work. She said indignantly,with a shit eating grin on her face. "I have no idea what your referring to, it couldn't possibly be me." Before Barney even got a chance to say anything, she heard a voice, from close behind her "my ass!" She sighed shook her head and rolled her eyes, while he father and tool just laughed. "Was anyone talking to you?" She swung around and looked at him. He went to say something. She put her hand out shook her head and shushed him he did it again so she cut him off again. Gunnar went to say something again, so she shushed him again. She started to move around so she was standing In front of her dad. She looked at Gunnar and said "you better be careful, I am watching you. Mister." Gunnar stood there with his arms folded over his chest, giving her that stupid cocky half smile"I am scared." He mused. She gaze him another dirty look "that's good, you better be."

tool asked out of curiosity "Hey Pax do you have any ink?" She shook her head yes. Tool looked at her over his glasses, a curious look on his face. She set on the stool swinging her feet. Gunnar stood leaning up against the desk beside Tool. Barney had the same curios look on his face. Tool said "where." Pax smiled" on me." Was her reply. Gunnar said" I am sorry, Barney but her reluctance could make a man really curious." Barney shook his head in agreement,"you better tell him, I don't want to have to kill him." She stood up and sighed rolling her eyes. There's one here she said running her fingers across the top of her ribs. Gunnar noted right under her breasts. It circles my whole torso and says not all who wander are lost. There is another one on my back right were my rib cage broadens that say carpe deam that's the first one I ever got.

The last one she walked over to Gunnar, and asked him to help her pull down the kneck of her shirt in back which he, did then she showed it to them e pluribus unum. "Why e pluribus unum," Tool asked curious. Pax smiled" When I was little, mum and Colin were in the states I don't remember why. I just know Ian,derrick, and I were staying with my grandmother." She said pausing to brush hair out of her face. She stared off across the room. "Mum had sent me a penny all shiny and new." She smiled and laughed softly."I took it to school with me, all proud. One of the boys at school took it away, and threw it at me, he told me I was just like that penny worthless." She happened to look up,and catch Gunnar's eye and the look on his face, made her pause. "Anyway, I was all upset when I got to grand mums, I showed her the penny and told her what had happened. She took my shiney penny in her hand, and helped into her lap. She wrapped her arms around me and asked if I knew what that said. She helped me to say it, then she said, it means out of many one, and you know what he's right, but this penny is one of many. You are my granddaughter who is out of the many one, you are destined to lead a extraordinary life Pax, I have known that since you were a baby." She was almost in tears." and when she died she left me half a million dollars, and her will said to Adain Paxton Munroe myone destined for something more i leave a half a million dollars, to help her live her extraordinary life." No one said anything for a moment it was dead silence. Then Tool said" well, child I think she defiantly loved you." Barney felt humbled that the women had loved her that much, and obviously Pax had loved her deeply in return. "I know, with her I was blessed." She gave a sad smile. " she used to tell mum, that she had been giving a great gift with me, I had an old sole. So she need to cherish me." pax said "anyway let's talk about something else" close to tears. She laughed "I think probably, mum hasn't felt that blessed."

She hung out at Tools with them until late. When Gunnar suggested they go get something to eat. Hale had shown up, along with Lee and Toll. Yang was off visiting quote un quote imaginary family. everyone, decided to go. Pax was hoping they wouldn't. She wanted to spend time with Gunnar alone tonight. she was still raw from talking about her grandmother. Gunnar just seemed like a safe place in the storm that was threaten her. What she had revealed today, brought up other hurts. Like Derrick and Abby, old festering wounds. Maybe her mum was right, maybe she should talk about things. But it was easier to push it all away.


	8. Chapter 8

There comes a time where you fade to the blackness

And when you starin' at that phone in your lap

And you hopin' but them people never call you back

But that's just how the story unfolds

You get another hand soon after you fold

And when your plans unravel in the sand

What would you wish for if you had one chance?

lyrics from Airplanes by B.O.B and Haley Williams

* * *

Pax couldn't sleep she tossed and turned. her ribs were still sore, she couldn't get comfortable. Worst of all her mind wouldn't shut up, it was going, and going. She kept getting flashes of Derrick, Abby, her gramdmum. Her palms were itchy, and her head was spinning. She got up and got dressed, panic was setting in she kept scratching at her arms. She threw on some cloths, then threw a bunch more in a bag. Shoved her feet in some uggs, ran threw the house grabbing some other stuff. Opened the door ran to her truck got in a drove off. She didn't know where she was going, she hit the I-10, and headed west. The more miles she went, the calmer she became.

when she looked at the clock it said four a.m. She pulled of the highway in some little no horse town to get diesel. By the time she had payed, pumped and, got a snack, she had a plan. She jumped in her truck and typed in buffalo New York on the GPS. She headed east for Liam and Beth's she wanted her bike she could be back In six days. She shut off her phone and chucked it in the center console. Ian woke up that morning around five a.m. He had a big job today and had to get in within the hour. He got up and went to the bathroom. Noticing things were all messed up, he came out of the bathroom, Pax's bedroom door was open her, she wasn't there. Her cloths were gone, and further investigation, proved her truck was gone. With a grim look Ian went and grabbed his phone, calling his mom.

Barney awoke to his phone ringing he looked at his alarm clock it was five thirty. He squinted answering his phone. "Yup." he answered, Setting up. "Barney, it's Marcia she's running, again."

she stopped in Nashville by two, and decided to push for Louisville, she pulled in to the cheap rundown hotel around five thirty. She'd hit buffalo tomorrow night.

Gunnar woke up to his phone ringing. He untangled himself from the sheets, and female limbs beside him. It had been a longtime, since he had brought a women here. He usually got business done at there place then, came home. Last night after dinner, he had been feeling frustrated. He picked up his phone of the old crate setting by his bed. He looked at the screen Barney, he thought in askance. "Ya?" He answered. Barney said " Have you seen Pax since, last night? He asked. Gunnar tensed "no." He answered standing up walking to his dresser and pulling out clean jockey shorts, and pulling them on." why." He asked suddenly feeling nervous. "Shit" Barney said "I was afraid you were go ing to say that. She's taking off" Gunnar said " what do you, mean?" Barney sighed " well apparently, she packed up her stuff, and left last night." Gunnar leaned against his dresser. "your sure she ran off?" The women on the bed said Gunnar's name, and drew his attention. "Ya," Barney said "Marcia said, she has done it before. Since her family died she's done it a few times." Seemed understandable to Gunnar. "Are you going to try to find her?" Gunnar asked. "Marcia said, Pax would check in tonight, apparently she always does. Marcia said, its like she has to get so far away, no one can get two her."

"What about her brother, did he look for her?"

"no they let her go, she checks in and comes back eventually . It seems like there afraid if they try to stop her, that will be it. She won't come back." when they got off the phone Gunnar looked at the lithe little blond who was splayed out across his bed naked. He simply said "get out." She pouted, but did as told. Gunnar finished dressing, not even sparing her a look. He was sick of these women, flocking to him, because he scared them and, it got them hot. They liked his scars, and sheer size. He terrified them, so they wanted twisted sex from him. He was in the bathroom when he heard the door slam, then a few moments later her car started, and she sped of. When he left the bathroom, he grabbed, his wallet,a jacket,and his keys. We'll they could all think, letting her run was the best idea, if they wanted but he didn't. He had no idea where she was, but something kept telling him to head east. He knew if he went far enough he'd find her, after all it was part of his job, finding people.

Gunnar stopped at a truck stop out side of Tuscaloosa, he'd been on the rode for awhile, he needed to fill up, and it was a good chance to see if anyone had seen her. he left the truck stop with more info, then he thought he'd get. The middle aged slag behind the counter, was more then glad to tell him she had seen her, and that shed said she was headed east. He guessed sometimes having that, dangerous charm worked! Of course the only reason the women remembered her was, the fading bruise. When he walked out of the truck stop his phone was ringing, it was Tool " hello" he answered. "Where the hell are you? Barney's been trying to track you down, we need to have a briefing, on a job we got this morning." Gunnar opened his water and took a drink, then answered " that's going to be difficult, seems I'm in Tuscaloosa." Tool asked "ok, why are you in Tuscaloosa?"

"I am going after pax, and i am only a hour or so behind her, one of the cashiers remembered her. hey doesn't she have a brother in New York?"

"ya, lake champlain." Tool answered, completely shocked. Gunnar said "listen, tell Barney I will call him when I find her."

He didn't even bother checking Nashville for her, something told him he'd find her in Louisville, and he was betting she was heading for her brothers. He hit Louisville about two and a half hours later. He checked four run down hotels, on the outskirts of town before he found the right one. The desk attendant, was a shifting looking, slimy little man that, was to terrified to not give him the info he wanted. Gunnar didn't like the idea of her staying in this hotel, it was sketchy. He thought as he headed up the stairs, Leaned against the railing across from her door. He didn't have to wait long, and he saw her pulling in. He watched her get out of her truck with a pizza box, and a plastic bag. She got to the top of the stairs before she saw him. When she did stopped dead in her tracks.

Gunnar looked at her, she was obviously exhausted,and weary. "what? How?" She said incredulously. Confusion on her face, she went on"what are you doing here,how did you find me?" Gunnar said" I am payed to find people." He reached out and took the pizza and bag from her hands. "You ran off, your dad was worried or is worried, and your mom convinced him that you would call him. So to just sit tight." She looked at him as though, she still didn't believe he was there. " you could unlock the door now." he stated. As she was unlocking the door. He said "nice choice of hotel, sweets."

she opened the door to her dingy little room, Gunnar took in his surroundings. Two double beds set on the opposite wall, there green bedspreads looked warn, he noted as Pax flipped on the light, and walked to the small table. He followed and set down the food. There was a rickety dresser, a worn sofa, and tv stand with tv. The door to the right, he assumed led to the bathroom.

Pax, was having a hard time recovering from her shock, of seeing him waiting for her. When she decided to disappear be it for two days or six months. Everyone usually just gave her, her space it was unspoken. They waited for her to call, Lance would track her down, when he was near her, but no one absolutely, no one else came without a invite. not even Ian. Apparently, Gunnar never received the memo, of unspoken rules. But still, she was glad to see him. She watched him survey the room. She could tell, he didn't approve. He spoke up" well you picked a great place to stay, If you wanna get shanked." She held his eye contact, and said "don't be dramatic, I have stayed in worse in my travels." she looked around" this place is a five star, compared to some places, I have stayed." Gunnar folded his arms over his chest. " that reassuring, Pax." He stated flatly, looking unconvinced. She opened up the pizza box, her tummy growling reminding her how hungry she was. She grabbed a slice and set down at the table. Gunnar, just continued to stand there, and stare at her. Feeling irritated she said" are you going to stand there, and glower at me all night or do you want some pizza." They ate in silence. Gunnar continued to watch her, it was slightly unnerving. When she was done she felt better, leaning back in her chair, and folding her hands in her lap she said " if you continue to stare at me, expectantly like your waiting for me to do, whatever unspoken command, your trying to convey, your going to be disappointed." He gave her a cocky half smile. " I am just making sure, you sit still any sudden movements and I will tie you up." She rolled her eyes. " why are you here, Gunnar?" She asked directly. " it's like I said, your mom told Barney to wait that you would call. But patience has never been a virtue of mine. Your father, knows he's your father now. You've been part of his life, what two weeks, and your running off on him." Gunnar paused then continued" we'll maybe not him, particularly but still." Pax looked down ashamed, she was speechless. With no clue what to say. He was right. Gunnar realized he had hurt her, but he also new she saw his point. He was just getting ready to apologize for over stepping, when she said. "Your, right." She looked, even more miserable. She put her n face in her hands, and cried.

Gunnar felt like a even bigger ass. She, had needed to hear it, bit still he could have found better words at least. He wanted to grab her, and hold her, but he some how realized that would be inappropriate. Plus he didn't think she would welcome it. She stood not making eye contact, grabbed her bag and, and said " I am going to take a shower." She walked to the bathroom pausing in the door way and asked " you won't leave, will you? I mean you will still be here when I get out, right?" Gunnar listened to her question. Looking at her back, her voice was laced with worry, and anxiety. "i'll still be here." He watched her shoulders visibly relax, could it be she felt relief.

as soon as he heard the shower start, he pulled out his phone, and called Barney. Not knowing if Barney was gonna be angry or not. On his end the phone didn't even ring ounce. Barney said "Gunnar?" Gunnar answered " I found her." Barney said "thank god, is she alright?"

"ya exhausted, and world weary, but she's fine. I didn't push for the particulars, if you want to know, you'll have to ask her." Barney said "hey, thanks for going after her." Gunnar replied "you're welcome, so what about this job?"

Pax looked in the mirror after, she shut the bathroom door. Her face wet from tears. She was pale, her eyes looked sunken. they were ringed him black, from exhaustion. It made her feel strangely at peace, knowing he was on the other side of that door. she reached over and turned on the shower faucet. This bathroom was horribly tiny. She knew he was right, it had been wrong, she should have at least told her da. She could hear the rumble of his voice, but she couldn't make out any words. She assumed he had called her father. She felt so numb, everywhere. She hadn't escaped her demons this time, if she wasn't so tired shed have kept on driving. She was actually more relieved, to see him then she cared to admit. She finished washing, got out dried off, and dressed. She put on some jogging pants, and a white tank top. she exited the bathroom brush in hand to see Gunnar setting on the bed closest to the bathroom door legs stretched out, in front of him. Channel surfing. He hadn't looked at her yet, and she was hit by the realization, while she was staring at his huge hands, holding that small remote. She had always, wanted some one to look for her. No matter how little, it made her world move closer to center.

Gunnar looked over at her, she was standing in the doorway brush in hand, staring at his hands. He watched her still she snapped out it. she walked over and, set down on the other bed. Gunnar watched her it was evident she didn't have her brace on. She seemed pensive. She brushed out her long hair, and let it fall around her shoulders. When she got done with her hair, she looked over at him again. He was watching something on t.v. She picked up her phone shoved her feet in her uggs, and walked outside. She dialed the phone, when the answer came she said, I'm sorry, da." About twenty minutes later shecame back in. Gunnar looked up at her, she gave him a weak smile. Shut the door and walked to the bed he was occupying. "so I take it this is the bed, you want." Gunnar nodded. She walked to the other bed, and set down. Kicking of her uggs, she pulled the blankets back. She set down Indian style, and looked at him. Gunnar watched her closely, she looked a little better, but still exhausted. When she finally did speak she said " sorry, Gunner." she messed with her pillows, and pulling a hair off her wrist. She swept her long still damp hair in ponytail. "That, your missing out on a big job because of me." He set up on the edge of the bed, directly across from her. " don't worry about it." He said watching, the way emotions seemed to dance on her face." before she even knew what she was doing, she had got up. Gunnar stood up also. She just stepped to him, wrapped her arms around his waist. Gunnar slowly let his arms slide around her, after he computed what just happened. He wrested his cheek, against the top of her head. Pax liked the feeling of safety the enveloped her, the moment his arms wrapped around her. Slowly she disentangled herself, and crawled into her bed. She laid facing away from him. she listened as he got ready for bed. Shutting off the t.v.

After about ten minutes," Gunnar?" She said his name. " ya," he answered " so are you ready, to be rid of me. Or could I make it up to you." He raised himself up on his shoulder, and looked over at her. He asked in a curious voice "what do, you have in mind?" She rolled her body so she was looking at him, rendered momentarily speechless by his naked chest, damn her mind said. Gunnar noticed her reaction, she shouldn't look at him with that kind of expression. He momentarily thought about kissing,the shock right off her face. She spoke up, "what if I took you on a adventure, instead of going to New York?" he thought about it a moment. Gave her that infuriating half smile, and said "sounds good to me, what you got in mind." She gave him an impish smile and, said it's a secret." With that rolled in the other direction, and closed her eyes. Right before she drifted off she said "oh and thank you, Gunnar."

Gunnar watched her sleep for a while. She was like a time bomb, he hoped Barney realized. One day she was going to self destruct, he hoped for her sake, she figured out how to shut down that self destruct sequence. Or else it wouldn't be pretty, he new from experience. He thought about the red marks on her arms. He hadn't said a word about them, but they bothered him. He fell asleep thinking about her.


	9. Chapter 9

Jump in the water  
Jump in with me  
Jump on the altar  
Lay down with me

The hardest question to answer  
Is why

Lyrics from Shinedown save me

Long before Pax woke in the morning, Gunnar was up. He felt claustrophobic and caged setting here waiting for her to wake found himself wondering what she could have planned for today. He guessed what ever it was it would be memorable, he was starting to think the girl was slightly unhinged. Maybe that wasn't fair, more like lost. You could tell, when you were with her she was teetering on the edge. He found himself wondering if, she hadn't been this way her whole life. He had no way of knowing. But his gut told him yes, and that her husband and daughter had centered her. He could understand loving someone so much you didn't want to go on, he personally had never felt that way. But he thought he could understand it. But almost three years later. She was either so afraid of the past she couldn't face it, or she was a few bubbles off center.  
Both could explain the risks, she took with her own life. She was playing Russian roulette, eventually she would end up dead or worse. Her apparent lack of reaction over her kidnapping, also seemed odd. She wasn't a hardened killer like her father. It was all in a days work for Barney. He bet the reason they let her run was because, they didn't know what to do with her. Technically he thought, unhinged was at least in his experience fun. She needed to face her past, and keep the crazy. After all it kept life interesting. Someone need to make her face it. She didn't seem to be afraid of anything except her past.  
Pax woke up later then she had planned. She awoke with a grumble, where am i, was she was her first thought? Ughh was her second and fuck he had come after her was her third. She didn't want anyone coming after her, but as she had thought last night she was glad to see him. she laid there embarrassed and irritated with herself. Until a deep voice from close by said after she threw her arm over her eyes " Bout time you woke up, I was contemplating dumping some water on you." Throwing her arm back on the bed she said "I wouldn't recommended it, I am not nice in the morning." He chuckled at her indignant tone of voice. She reached over and grabbed her phone, off the night stand, checking the time. 8:30 well it wasn't as bad as it could have been. She set up, and looked at him he was setting on the sofa across the room. Fiddling with his knife, the same knife she had seen sticking out of a mans back two weeks ago. She quickly locked that memory down and shoved it away. He looked dangerous this morning. Setting there his body mostly concealed in shadow, a ray of light glinting off his ridiculously large knife. " overkill, much" she asked. He asked "what?" looking at her. That sword you call a knife" she said. Again he chuckled. Then gestured to the kimber 1911 .45 acp laying on the table. "That's a mans gun, there princess." So he had looked in the night stand. "Can you hit anything with that? Do you even know how to fire it. Or do you do like in the movies and hold sideways like a gangster." He said sarcastically. "Ya I know how to use it,." She answered in a cocky tone. She got up and walked to the table, picking it up. She liked the feel of the cold steel in the palm. Gunnar watched her, she wasn't awkward about holding it, and when she raised it up she did it the right way her hands didn't squeeze the grip it just wrested there. "How long you had it?" He asked. "Since I turned nineteen." She answered "it was a gift for my birthday, living in Nevada and going to school. My uncle thought I should have one. I mean I had a moss-berg twelve gauge pump I kept in my apartment. But Lance wanted me to get a permit, and carry a concealed." She looked up at him. " you know this gun, has always been close at hand when I travel. The only time I have ever needed it, it wasn't there." After a short pause" I guess that goes to show your never really safe, anywhere." So true Gunnar thought. He said "you know" watching her lay the gun back down. " That's true Pax, but what happened was a random act, it was premeditated. For most people it's a question of odds, not a planned kidnapping." She Laid her kimber back down, on the table giving it a loving caress. She changed the subject, "I am going to get dressed, then we can go." She said headed for the bathroom. "Where we headed?" He inquired. "You'll see" was her reply.

When pax exited the bathroom, Gunnar had opened the drapes. He was tidying up, pulling the blankets up on the beds. The garbage from dinner last night was already gone. She looked at the pizza box that was setting on top of the garbage can longingly, she had wanted cold pizza for breakfast. Gunnar looked at her, he momentarily paused. This morning her bruise was even more faded. But it was the Stunning blue of her big eyes that caught his attention today. He smiled and finished what he was doing. They loaded Gunnar's bike onto the back of Pax's truck, using the loading dock, of a vacant warehouse next door. She threw Gunnar the ratchet straps she had in a box under the back seat. When they were done she threw him her keys. Then walked to the passengers side door and climbed in. He opened up the door and grumbled when he saw the space between the steering wheel and the seat. She laughed at him. He reached down and grabbed the lever pushing it back as far as it would go. He climbed in got behind the wheel and said really that's all the room. She shrugged. Well he said as he started the truck looking over at her "where too?" He asked. "Food! And then Knoxville!" She reached in back and pulled her iPad out of her bag, trying to open the center console but he wouldn't move his arm so she shoved it under it instead. Ignoring him, or trying.

They chose a little roadside dinner to eat at, it was completely decorated in a 50's theme. They set down at a corner booth Gunnar had the truckers breakfast three eggs sausage, bacon, hash browns and pancakes with orange juice. She had corn beef hash two eggs and orange juice. She found herself watching his lips as he ate, he had a nice mouth she decided. She mentally shook herself where had that come from. But he did have a nice mouth, it was one of her things. Every female had her things, she noticed first about men, some women only had one thing. Pax had three, lips and mouth. His were nice. Voice, his wasn't bad, she reflected. But she heard better. But for her the one that was the most important about any man was his hands, she believed you could tell everything you needed to know by a mans hands. Gunnar's hands were she reflected and she changed her gaze to look at them were nice. She loved large hands, his were long fingered. His fingers were thick but not blunt, and calloused, his palms warn, and she imagined ruff. Oh she loved the feel... Holy crap what was wrong with her. Why was she applying her list to Gunnar. She shook her head. "Are, you alright?" Gunnar asked. Paxs face turned bright red instantly embarrassed that he had caught her ogling. She grabbed her o.j. Took a drink and I went down the wrong tube. She coughed "fine." She said coughing again. She excused herself and headed to the bathroom Gunnar watched her walk off. She glanced back at him, and when she saw him watching her face flamed all over again. He set back folded his arms over his chest, and smirked he give just about anything to know what she had been thinking he thought, he picked back up his fork and kept on eating. By the time she exited the bathroom he had payed. He was leaning against the bar flirting with the waitress. He saw her quickly and flashed her that infuriating half smile of his. He lazily stared at her, forgetting all about his little waitress friend.

Damn Gunnar thought. Her blue gray tee shirt emphasized her form. He new for a fact, from last night when she hadn't had on her brace, that she was nicely endowed. Her ridiculously long legs where encased in tight dark blue jeans, they rode low on a pair of gently rounded hips. She had on black flip flops that let you see her cute little toes. He bet his hand was bigger then her foot. She wasn't short, she had to be at least five eight. He bet her inseam was close to thirty five inches nearly as long as his at thirty seven, and he knew women's legs. She was a well proportioned little thing. Obviously physically fit. But those eyes were her best feature those and that pert little mouth. She made her way to him trying to ignore the fact he was giving her a much more, thorough ogling then she had given him. But it was impossible, he was very intent on his perusal of her. She had no one to blame but herself. Her face turned red again so bad this time, she could feel all her blood rushing to her cheeks. She stopped in front of him she wouldn't meet his gaze instead fixing her gaze on his chin. "Are, we ready?"she asked noting his night growth of blond stubble. Gunnar's half smile turned to a full on grin. Instead of answering her he asked his own question. "Why's your face so red, Pax?" She just turned and walked toward the door. He laughed out right, a deep laughter. She groaned she liked that laugh. It was one of her alternate things. She cursed "a Pox on you Gunnar." He laughed again this time his normal laugh. Catching her at the door and reaching around her to open it, he said " I already have a Pox, and she's standing right in front of me." He laughed again. Pax rolled her eyes looked at him and stuck her tongue out. She was certain that was going to be her new nickname.

They got on the road officially at ten thirty. That would put them in Knoxville around two thirty, she estimated. Earlier would have been better. She pulled out her iPad plugged it in and hit, play run to the hills came on, Gunnar was impressed maybe she had decent taste in music also. They listened in companionable silence. He glanced at her she was looking out her window watching scenery. Next Sunday Bloody Sunday came on he wasn't a U2 fan but he could do it. She obviously was she was singing along. After about eight more songs he had decided she was so embarrassed she was wasn't gonna talk to him. Then he heard the next song start, he couldn't help it her burst out laughing when he heard Kelly won't kiss my friend Cassandra Jessica won't play ball. Pax laughed also. "Nice." Gunnar said. Pax laughed "that's the usual reaction"she said. "Perks most men right up" Gunnar laughed again. "I almost think its inappropriate for me to be listening to this with you." She laughed again and said " we'll in that case" and started it all over. Adjusted her trooper glasses and leaned her seat back a bit. The remainder of the way to Knoxville, she talked his ear of telling him stories of her crazy adventures. He told him about him about hunting Cape buffalo, she said it was a unreal experience, and talked proudly about her 338 lapua she used to kill it at six hundred yards. It was something to brag about. They were expensive and lapua primarily made clips and ammo so ya she could brag. She told him coming home from Africa with it. They had searched her, he could tell she had been irritated but who could blame the security guys really.

She told him about hiking in Bernese alps. BASE jumping angel falls. Sky diving, para sailing, snow boarding, parachuting from a plane then snowboarding down the mountain in Germany that one didn't go so well. She really didn't have the experience for itHunting in India. Exploring Tibet, and Nepal. He listened to all of her stories, surprisingly with interest. She had done a whole lot of living while she was running away. A almost unbelievable amount, but he guessed that's what happen when you became the heiress to over a million dollars in a couple years. You could afford to live the life most only dreamed about. He found she loved cars, street bikes and apparently had a Augusta M.V. waiting at her brothers in New York. Dirt bikes had been a major passion of hers for along time he found.  
By the time they hit Knoxville he was thoroughly charmed.  
They stopped in Knoxville to fill up and stretch their legs. When they got back on the road she drove. Gunnar caught her glancing at him several time. But shrugged it off this portion of the trip was much quieter she pointed out different places along the way. But the closer they got the quieter she got. For the life of him he had idea where they were going beside to the smokey mountains.  
Pax was becoming nervous about taking him there, it was her place. A safe haven, she always found the calm before the storm there. She didn't know why that was really, but it gave her clarity, in a otherwise chaotic world. For some reason she felt she could if she wanted share this with him. It was funny really, she had only known him as a person for two weeks. She had known his face her whole life. After only two weeks he had come after her when the storm hit, no one else ever had. Not even in the beginning, but in there defense she was never one for the shoulder to cry on. She was independent to a fault, it was unhealthy some said. But look at what leaning on someone had done for her, she was widowed her husband and daughter buried. Anyway she thought glancing at him again she was glad he came, he was the only one she was certain she could say that about.  
They pulled into Townsend a small town in the smokey mountains around two thirty. They drove threw town and stopped at a rustic house that said O'Neils bed and breakfast. Pax got out shaking her legs each individually, she rubbed her butt damn her ass was a little sore, she better not tell Ian she decided. Gunnar got out and walked around the front of the truck a big smile came across her face her eyes dancing. First things first" she said" we need to get a room" she said as she grabbed her bag from the back of her truck. She smiled walking toward the B&B. He followed curious "what's second" he asked "cloths for you, dummy" she replied as she opened the door. "How long are we going to be here" he asked "a day or two." Was her reply. "We better be back in Louisiana, before your dad gets back."  
" are you afraid of my da" she asked all innocence. He snorted "let's just say I am fond of certain body parts" she laughed leaning up against the counter " don't worry we have three days, and I would protect you anyway."  
Just then a little old lady walked into the lobby. She lit up when she saw Pax. She walked out around the counter and hugged her. "As I live and breath, child it's been over a year this time. I was afraid you wouldn't ever come back." She saw Gunnar and eyed him a moment. "Happy I am, to see the sweet little Irish lassie, and this time with a big strapping Northmen." Pax smiled and stepped back  
" Gunnar, this Meghan O'Neil my dear friend, Meghan this is Gunnar Jensen a good friend." Mrs. O'Neil walked around the counter "and lucky you are sir. To have as fine a lass as this one call you friend." Gunnar smiled unsure what to say. They booked two adjoining rooms. Which Gunnar insisted on paying for at least half of. Then they deposited Pax's bag and left the B&B in search of cloths she gave him a tour of the town. If he had stumbled on this himself, he might have thought it quaint if he had thought anything at all. But seeing it through her eyes made it beautiful and amazing. Time seemed to not exist in this place. She loved it and new it well, it also seemed to put her demons at bay. They made there way back to the B&B with cloths in hand. He was kind of hungry, but Pax had more to show him so he didn't mention it. He took a quick shower and changed ounce they got back. When he emerged Pax was waiting for him. With a backpack, she rushed him two the truck. About fifteen minutes later they were pulling onto national park land, they drove a few miles and she parked at a picnic area. They got out and she grabbed his hand, leading him across a bridge and down a path to the right. She grew quiet and withdrawn but she continued to hold his hand tight. Even though Gunnar new he should probably pull it away he didn't. He looked down to where their hands intertwined she hand grabbed his hand she had laced their finger together. Gunnar liked the feel of her little hand in his. He glanced at her face but she was looking ahead seemingly watching the path. Before long they came to a little building she explained it was the school house and church for the area, she told him children had walked for miles to get their. In the winter, school was usually only open for two months in the winter when chores were lite. She had let go of his hand, and he found himself wishing she would take it again. He needed it for comfort as bad as she, he had a feeling she was sharing something amazingly profound with him. Something no one else got to see.  
From there she led him up another trail in silence. After about a mile they stepped into a clearing, in the middle of the clearing was a small farm. A plank two story cabin, with weathered chinking set in the middle a big field stone chimney could be seen running up one side a small porch attached to the front. She pushed her sunglasses back and turned to look at him walking backwards. Gunnar kept her eye contact, it seemed like she was trying to make up her mind about him. She looked vulnerable, so he reached out and touched her hand. She turned to walk beside him again, sliding her little hand into his. She began "this was the home of the walker sisters the last living residents of this valley there were five of them." She said as they stepped onto the porch and into the house itself " their were eleven children in all, four boys seven girls. The boys all left two sisters married and the other five stayed here." Gunnar took in the large field stone fireplace and raw plank floors. " none of the remaining five ever left, they lived virtually unchanged by the world, they grew all their food. They even made their own cloths from the cotton they grew and the wool they sheared." She led him upstairs so they could look out the windows and then downstairs. She took her hand away again and walked before him to the field behind the house. She set down on the ground opened up the backpack pulled out a sandwich and gave it to him.  
Then she laid back closed her eyes and folded her hands on her stomach. She was struggling, and Gunnar could see it. For some reason this place stirred up powerful feelings in her. She set up and faced him. She looked down picked a piece of grass and fiddled with it. The breeze blew a piece of hair across her cheek, the the sun turning her hair blue reached up and brushed it back, tucking it behind her ear. Gunnar watched again wanting to touch her but afraid. She took a deep breath and glanced toward the cottage. "I wish I could live here", she said " this place, it's magical." She said her voice so soft he almost had to strain to hear it. " about six months before the accident," she said pausing. " we came here, to Townsend, to this very spot, actually," Gunnar watched her she wasn't looking at him still. But he could feel the power of her emotions " you see " she said reaching out and touching his hand "Derrick wanted to move to Townsend, and raise Abby he had found work, out of Knoxville, and we would be close to my mum." She reached up and wiped her face, "I put him off I didn't want to move, I loved the desert." She cried harder still. "He so wanted to come, I wanted to stay." She turned around and wrapped herself around him. Gunnar pulled her close " if I had, just done it instead of fighting him, we would all be here happy they'd still be alive, my baby girl would still call me mama. She would be four and a half..." Gunnar rubbed her head gently running his fingers threw that long dark hair. she pulled away, she looked up at him. "this is my place, I always come here." She paused taking a big breath " this was were, I came the first time I disappeared after..." She looked down. " and i have come here many times since, if I had only..." She trailed off again he watched the breeze gently lift pieces of her hair. He heard that same breeze ruffling the leaves of the trees, he heard birds singing, a bee landed on a dandelion close by, catching his eye, and whitetail ran threw the trees at the edge of the clearing. He felt humbled that she had brought him here to this place. When he looked back her big troubled blue eyes were on him. It was heart breaking really. she had lost so much so young. So he said the only thing that made sense. No matter how hallow the comfort might be "Pax, Hun it's not your fault." She pushed away from him the rest of the way, and stood up wiping her eyes. She laughed painfully. " I am sorry, I didn't intend to turn into a watering pot. Or tell you all my wows I just wanted to give you so something special to me, for what you did. This is my special place." Gunnar could tell the topic was closed. As they walked back to her truck walking side by side. He studied her. It was as if a wall had gone up, she had closed herself up. He realized he had been given a precious gift. Something she gave no one, a glimpse beyond the vail.

When they got back to her truck, they explored the small village across the road, Cade's Cove she told him the history of the place. He could tell it truly fascinated her beyond the link to her family. She slowly came back to normal, adapt at locking things up and putting them away by the time they left she seemed to be almost her normal, bubbly self.

By the time they got back to town it was eight, they ate dinner in a small diner. She had breaded and fried zucchini, and southern fried chicken and dumplings. Gunnar ordered a cheese burger, she made him try her zucchini he had to admit it was good, he'd never had it before. It was highly unhealthy breaded in egg flour garlic salt and pepper. Then fried in butter, but it was good. In turn she stole French fries. Then they topped it off with maple sugar pie. When the pretty little waitress made doe eyes at him, Pax offered to help him pick her up. But Gunnar had no interest, in the smoking hot little waitress. Not when Pax's bright mischievous smile, and laughing eyes were setting across from him. Her eyes made brighter by the emotional afternoon. Most people would be incredibly vulnerable after, everything she told him. Not her it was almost like it didn't happen. They walked back to the bed and breakfast. In silence she walked so close to him her shoulder brushed his arm a few times as they walked. He asked breaking the silence, " what's next?" She looked up at him. Well tonight, it's still a surprise." She said suggestively. " and tomorrow fun!"

When they got back to the bed and breakfast she led him around back there was a fire going in a pit, and several adirondack chairs set up around it. Mrs O'Neil looked up and smiled when she saw them approaching, "did you have a nice afternoon?" She asked as Pax set down beside her, Gunnar taking the chair on the other side of Pax. "Yes, pax replied."  
"That's good, dear." She replied. Mrs. O'Neil then asked "and, what about you." Directing her question to Gunnar. Gunnar nodded and said " ya, it was enlightening."Pax gave him slow smile. Pax looked at him studying him in the fire light for a moment. His profile brought into harsh relief by the glow of the fire, so she decided to give him a classical evaluation, how would a classical author describe him. his nose was almost aristocratic she mused or what shed always thought, authors meant when they used the term. His chin slightly slightly lantern, she inwardly giggled she never understood why people didn't just write protruding. His forehead was high. His mouth well ya, she'd already speculated on that one enough this morning. His features,were not soft they were harsh. Distinguished was the word she decided on. Not really handsome. But he didn't need to be Pax mused he was popular enough with the ladies, that dangerous charm, and raw power he oozed. Would snare many women, he was intense. It was plain to see even Mrs. O'Neil was charmed. She was almost batting her eyelashes at him as they talked. Leaving Pax completely out of conversation. Pax watched the fire and listened to them talk. Until Mrs. O'Neil handed her a old glass jar. Pax looked at her smiling, and said"you didn't think I'd forget did you." Pax smiled took the jar. Standing up she said to Gunnar "enjoy your conversation, now if you'll excuse me." Gunnar watched her as she walked off curious about what she was up to. Mrs. O'Neil said " don't worry about her, she's not going far." And in the moonlight Gunnar watched her stop, unscrew the lid from the jar squat down and catch a firefly in the jar carefully replacing the lid. She danced around the field catching several more and singing what appeared to be a old Irish folks song. About a knight, and his lady love who was married to another. Mrs. O'Neil watched the way the big swede watched her, always aware of her. Well it looked like Pax had a protecter, she needed one.

Pax was happy, dancing around that field catching fireflies she had caught about twenty before she stopped. She loved them had since the first time she had seen them as a child. She mused as she slowly walked back to the fire. Today had been a good day and she somehow new that even though she had been in pain. When she reached the fire Gunnar asked her what she was planning do with those bugs. She laughed and said let them go in my room silly! He laughed yup he thought she was unhinged.


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning! Gunnar woke up to a evil little laugh and the sensation of cold water being dribble on his face. He shot up into a sitting position at the same time grabbing for her. But she danced out of his reach laughing the whole time, squeeze top water bottle in hand. Extremely amused with herself. She was at the foot of his bed bouncing around and laughing. A mischievous smile dancing on her lips, her big blue sparkling. Head slightly down he looked up at her with his eyes, giving her the look that he knew intimidated most men. She just laughed again, and said "that doesna work on me." Her accent purposely heavy. "Wait she said what if I do it."she said and mimicked the look he'd just given her. He just folded his arms across his naked chest and stared at her. She busted up laughing again. When he made to get out of bed quickly, she darted for the door that adjoined their rooms. Laughing the entire way, she was a quick little thing. She made to the door before he even got out of bed. She had strong preservation instincts. She hurried threw it. He heard the lock click with a resounding thud. He walked to the door anyway, leaned his back against it and warned "Pax, sweets I'm not nice in the morning either." He knew she was standing just on the other side of the door. She burst out laughing again. "I am terrified," she laughed some more. "Positively shaking." He gave a short bark of laughter " exactly, princess that's why you ran for your room and locked the door." She said very seriously "Self preservation, Gunnar I wasn't quiet prepared to be chased threw the building by a nearly naked mon." She teased " think of what the other guests would think. Now get dressed, day lights burning." A few moments later he heard her leave her room.  
Pax descended the stairs still smiling, she chuckled softly to herself. Meghan was at the counter, she smiled when she saw Pax. Her long dark hair pulled back into a braid that hung over her right shoulder. A vibrant green guys tee shirt on that fit her snugly and made her eyes seem brighter, she had on short jean shorts and black and white nikes. She had only got prettier since she'd met her. The pain and sorrow had been kind to her where it would have been unkind too others. The girl had a certain bounce in her step, she found herself wondering if it wasn't because of that big giant of man she came here smiled at her, lighting up the room. She came to stop at the counter, "did you get it?" She asked. Meghan smiled and handed her a envelope. "Yes" she said pax smiled tucking the envelope in her back pocket. Meghan went on "I had Russell put the gear in the back of your truck."  
"Thanks" pax said. And headed for the dining room, she was hungry.  
Gunnar walked into the dining room and the first thing he noted was Pax had changed her long legs stuck out of a pair of really short, shorts. Gone were her pajama pants. She still wore the vibrant green tee shirt. She looked up and saw him standing there so she tried his look on him again. He shook his head " I wouldn't be reminding me, that you were in my room a few minutes ago princess." He said walking to the counter to get food. "I might feel inclined to spank you." He teased. She giggled a very girlish noise. Her laugh generally bordered on obnoxious. He turned his head to see what that was all about, and she just gave him a sheepish grin. Brat he thought.  
It was barely light out. He wondered what she had planned. He got his food and set down beside her. She was quickly done eating, and pestering him to hurry up. She didn't sit still as usual, and nagged him into being done before he was full.  
Ridiculously enough she took him fishing of all things. When they got out of the truck she handed him a day license, and jumped onto the back of her truck producing poles. Ha he hadn't touched a fishing pole since before he moved to the states. She was full of surprises! The absurdity of fishing on a creek in eastern Tennessee with, no other then Barney Ross's daughter was absurd He laughed. They caught six fish and took them back to the Bed and breakfast. They hit the road shortly after it was her decision, whatever she had wanted to do would have been fine. She said her goodbyes and took the bag of goodies Mrs. O'Neil passed to her. They left with Pax's promise to try and come sooner next time.

Gunnar found himself in the drivers seat again. He looked over at her as she eagerly looked through the bag. She exclaimed " Madeline's!" He looked over at her curious, what the hell was a Madeline he wondered. She stuffed them back in the bag when she saw his look. She shook her head "you don't get anything that's in this bag, it's all mine." He looked back at the road and said "you think so." She shook her head no and said "nay, I know so."  
They hit Tuscaloosa around seven thirty they had stopped several times along the way.

They got into New Orleans around three, the following day and went to Ian's office to off load Gunnar's bike. Ian wasn't there he was out on a job. Pax noticed how Tonya Ian's secretary perked up when they walked in. Her eyes fallowed Gunnar, he did his fair share of looking also. She was a pretty little blond, who tended to dress trashy. It had never really bothered Pax until this moment. She looked at Tonya in her low cut shirt and short little jean skirt. Pax gave herself a mental shake what did she care who Gunnar, checked out or flirted with. She excused herself and left Ian's office leaving Gunnar there with Tonya. She headed for Tools, she wanted to know when to expect her da. She pulled up and got out of her truck. Walking in through the door, tool looked up from the paper he was reading, when he heard the door open. He smiled at her, laying down the paper and taking off his glasses. She gave him a unsure smile. "What can I do for you, Kid?" He looked at her momentarily surprised her bruise was gone, and holy she was stunning. She gave him a beguiling smile that lit up her entire face. "When will my da be back?" Tool started towards her answering "haven't heard from him yet but probably around ten" He come to stop a few feet away. Leaning against a stool. "You are looking much better, kid." She said "thank, you." He said "its uncanny I could tell you were, a pretty little thing." She blushed slightly she had never liked compliments, to much room for deceit. That, and she was not the beautiful one, that title fell to both her younger sisters. "So" she said changing the subject. "I want some new ink, and I believe your the man to talk to." Tool looked at her amused. "Sure am, darling." She smiled at him. "What, you have in mind?" I want a sleeve." Tool looked as though he was contemplating it. "I don't know, that I would want to sleeve your arm."

Tool looked up as Gunnar pulled into the shop. Tool had opened the door right after Pax had left, and it had remained that way for a couple hours. Tool said after Gunnar shut off his bike, "it's about time you got back." Gunnar gave him a smile. "Ya we got back a few hours ago." Tool glanced at him, "I know Pax was here." Gunnar looked surprised "oh,ya" he said questioningly. "Ya she wanted to know when Barney was going to be back, and she wants a sleeve."  
"Fuck,no" Gunnar replied to the last piece of news. Tool looked up at him amused. "That's pretty much what I told her." Curious Tool said " I was shocked when I saw her now that, that bruise is all gone, she is stunning don't you think?" Gunnar folded his arms over his chest he was quiet a moment. "Ya, she gorgeous." Tool watched him closely " be careful with that Gunnar, she Barney's daughter, and as such off limits my friend." Gunnar said "ya I'm in no danger, don't worry about me. The only threat to me has been my sanity the last three days." But he wasn't so sure he was immune. He found himself wondering if she would be off limits, if they were talking about Lee and her.

Pax went and tracked down Ian, for the first time ever apologizing for running off, without telling him. He was shocked and wondered what had transpired. He knew Gunnar had gone to find her, but here she was three days later, apologizing. She had never done that before.

Next she went back to Ian's intent on cooking him a make up dinner. She had stopped and bought T bone steaks, asparagus, mushrooms and potatoes knowing everything else she needed was there. She picked up her phone and called her mom, while she was putting groceries away. The first words she said were "I am sorry." She stayed on the phone with her mom a longtime. Marcia hadn't asked many questions about what she'd being doing. She just let her talk, she told her Gunnar had come and found her. Which Marcia already knew. Barney had told her and so had Pax when they'd talked before, on that first night. When they got off the phone, Marcia set contemplating her conversation with her daughter. She was different, Marcia was certain they owed it to Gunnar. Pax hadn't told her where they had been, only that they had spent the last few days together. But there was something in her voice, Marcia really hoped she was wrong. But she was afraid she wasn't, Pax had a thing for him whether she realized it yet or not. Well she guessed time would tell, most likely if it was anything, it was just a physical attraction, it would fizzle out fast.

Pax got a call from Tool, they would be in around ten. She was at the bar with Ian and josh. She looked at the clock nine fifteen. She left about fifteen minutes later. She was pulling up beside the hanger just as they were touching down. Tool was there along with Gunnar. Now that she had been away from Gunnar, she felt silly. At least that's how she felt after, she was confronted by embarrassment and self irritation. She wasn't so sure after tonight, that she wouldn't end up avoiding him a while. She never let anyone in or cried on there shoulder, and she had done both.

She got out of the truck, and walked to Tool where he stood just inside the doors by Gunnar. She had changed since they had seen her earlier. She had on tights light blue jeans, knee high boots, a dark gray tee shirt that came down over the very top of her but and a black jacket. Still no makeup her hair hanging loose was all wavy. When they saw her, neither one said anything for a moment. Until she said "hi" Tool smiled , and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, Squeezing her affectionately. Gunnar looked at her, damn now that bruise was gone she really was, something. He had been thinking that since yesterday. But mainly about her legs, he hadn't even really noticed her face until this morning.

They pulled the plane into the hanger and shut it down. Barney let the other guys get off the plane first, even though he was anxious to see her. She had looked good from the plane window, but he still needed to look at her. She was standing between Caesar and Toll talking when he got off the plane. She looked at him lighting up like a Christmas tree. She literally ran to him, hugging him, and saying "I am so sorry, da." He held her close a moment kissed her forehead and said "don't worry about it." Fallowed by "and why are you all dressed up?" They started to walk toward the guys, Barney's arm around her little waist. "I was at the bar, with Ian and Josh." Caesar said " wait did someone, just say bar?" Pax looked at him, he was sauntering toward her "what's that you say gorgeous, you want to go to the bar." Laughing she said " no, I just left the bar." He looked at a "didn't you distinctly hear, she wanted to go to the bar." Toll answered laughing "yes, actually." Barney let go of Pax. When Caesar wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and placed his ear by her mouth. "What's that." He said. "Oh wait yup, she wants to go to the bar." She was laughing to hard to argue. He looked down at her, and said "wait there's more." Lowering his head again "oh and you want me to be your date." Pax shoved him away playfully and saying "I did not say that." He grabbed her waist and said "well seems your not taking no for a answer, I will be your date." As he was leading her off he said "this ones mine, you guys go find your own." Gunnar watched Caesar lead her off. She was laughing, her face pink with embarrassment. A reluctant smile spread across his lips.

Pax found herself siting between Caesar and Toll, about a hour later at the Molly's. Having Cristol shoved into her hand by Caesar. The guys were running on high energy tonight. Having just escaped death , they felt invincible. She knew from experience the rush that came from, cheating death was a heady thing. It was a addiction, and it could be a aphrodisiac. That would explain why Caesar, was checking out everything that walked by. Actually the rest of them were also, except her father and Lee. Apparently Lee had a girlfriend she hadn't yet met, and she assumed her da was on his best behavior for her benefit. She sure noticed enough women looking his way, but he was oblivious. She smiled it made her think of what her mom had said about him. The only one missing from the group was Gunnar, and admittedly she wondered where he was. But she wouldn't ask. A few minutes later he walked in, on his arm none other then Tonya. She had on a little black dress, and black high heels. Well she works fast Pax thought, surprised. To each their own, she smiled and said "hello" to Tonya. She simply cocked an eyebrow at Gunnar, amusement in her eyes. Tonya flirted with every man at the table shamelessly, Pax took this all in with amusement. Gunnar seemed to be enjoying himself.  
Pax excused herself and went to the bar to get another drink. She leaned on the counter waiting for the bartender to take her order, Molly was the first to get to her. "What can I get you?" Pax smiled "Tom Collins" she hollered over the noise. "Molly asked while she was mixing Pax's drink." How do you like New Orleans?" Pax answered " its alright, so far" Molly handed Pax her drink when Pax tried to pay her Molly said " it's on the house." Pax asked" are you sure?" Molly was leaning on the counter across her now "ya" she answered."you want to do lunch, tomorrow?" She asked Pax smiled surprised "sure." Molly looked genuinely happy "good, meet me here around noon." Pax walked back to the table with a smile on her face, Caesar was on the dance floor. With a couple girls who were grinding all over him. She plopped down into her chair beside Toll, her Tom Collins already half gone.  
Gunnar ran his fingers along the back of Tonyas arm. She sure was a hot little thing, she had a athletic body. Just the way he liked them, petite, shapely, and blond. He got a momentary flash of dark hair, dancing eyes, and absurdly long legs. He glanced at Pax she was laughing that loud obnoxious laugh of hers. Her face fully animated by her apparent amusement. She laughed so hard she almost fell out of her chair. He found himself wishing he had been paying attention to conversation, he couldn't help it he laughed anyway. Her laughter was infectious.  
Barney watched his daughter, the life of the party. She laughed louder, and shone brighter then any of the rest of them. Her personality she got from Marcia, she had the ability to command everyone's attention. He was learning his daughter had a lot of Marcia's traits, like when it was you she was lavishing attention on. You felt like the only person in the world. She gave one hundred percent of her focus to you. He also noted that Gunnar's new friend wasn't a fan, the more involved Gunnar became in the general conversation the less impressed she seemed. Girls like Tonya he had seem thousands of time in his life, sexy as could be and vain because of it. They were used to being worshipped because of it, they generally didn't like the women like Pax. They took the lime light from them, so they didn't feel as powerful as normal.  
That night after they had all left the bar, Barney dropped Pax off at home. She wasn't drunk anymore but not comfortable driving herself home. Her quote unquote date had left with a women a few minutes before them. Gunnar and his date had left at the same time as them, so had Tool, and Yin. Toll had cut out early, and lace had called Lee she had just got done work, so he had headed home as well.  
Over the next couple of weeks Pax didn't see Gunnar more then ounce and that was in passing. She always was busy, if he was going to be involved. Conveniently having somewhere to go or someplace to be.


	11. Chapter 11

Well I can't stand to look at you now  
This revelation's out of my hands  
Still I can't bear the thought of you now  
This complication's leaving me scared

Lyrics from country song by seether

Pax kept telling herself it was worth it but holy shit, her ribs themselves might be healed but running, had obviously not been the best option this morning. It wasn't even a long run she had planned out a two mile loop. Holy crap she'd already thrown up ounce on this run, she never did that until she hit her third mile hard running. Oh we'll she had been lazy for a couple weeks before, she ended up with broken ribs. Seven weeks with out a run was a longtime for Pax. She had also decided as soon as she was able, she was going back into cross fit classes.

Her da should be getting back from a job tonight! She found she missed him. While he was gone she had taking, the opportunity to get her bike from Liam's. It needed a tune up, so unfortunately did her dirt bikes both of them. As she found when Ian had come back from, their ma's with them. Well she was going to be doing a lot of mechanic work. It had been a longtime since Pax had picked up a wrench to work on anything. The last time had been when she had helped Derrick change the rear driveline in her truck. He always said drivelines were her job. He hated crawling under any vehicle. She smiled she was actually enjoying the idea of a little grease! Some day she would finish that '72 cuda with its 383 stroker, four speed on the floor, that was setting in Nevada. It gave her goose bumps thinking about it, that car was an beast.

When she got back to Ian's her lungs hurt, her ribs might be healed but she was sure there was some bruising. Ahh well such was life. She showered, got dressed and jumped in her truck. She thought shed go find Tool and see if he wanted to do lunch. She need to work on him some more about that tat she wanted. She pulled up in front of his shop, about twenty minutes later. Sauntered in and set down heavily on his bike. Tool looked up when he heard the door, he couldn't help but smile. There she was looking particularly nice, a mischievous expression on her face. Long black hair pulled back, with that little bump thing in the front. A black loose fitting shirt, tight medium blue jeans and black sandals. She even had on make up that enhanced her natural beauty. He found himself wondering what she was up to. She gave him a smile that was meant to be beguiling. Tool asked with evident amusement "what's up, Pax?"  
"Oh." She said sauntering over " lunch" she answered giving him her brightest smile. He laughed unable to stop himself.

Gunnar excited the plane his Barrett .50 cal in hand, bag thrown over his shoulder. The humidity was almost suffocating, he instantly felt sticky all over. Got to love New Orleans he thought. He looked up and saw her standing there embracing her father. Barney picked her right up off the ground so her feet dangled. Her eyes met his, and her cheeks pinked. She looked away quickly, he wished he knew what had happened. Why he got the strange feeling she was avoiding him. He missed her ha Gunnar Jensen missed a women. One he'd never even fucked.  
Barney put Pax down she beamed up at him. They had gotten in at seven today this one was not a late night return. Pax helped then with the off loading and general clean up. She was dragging a crate across the hanger that was to heavy for her to carry. Refusing any help offered her. Gunnar watched her amused as she shoed Ying away playfully. Informing him she could manage it on her own. She stopped looking down at the crate obviously irritated with it. Hands on her hips scowl on her face. Gunnar walked over bent down and picked it up. She looked over at him, irritated until their eyes met. He held her gaze along time. His eyes slid to her mouth, that gorgeous pert little mouth. Her lips where generous her bottom lip pouty and full. He found himself wondering, what that mouth would feel like on his. She broke the spell spinning around and walking off. Gunnar visibly shook his head, what the fuck was wrong with him. For the next forty-five minutes she blatantly ignored him. Then they split up and left. Gunnar watched her climb into her truck. Her gaze met with his for a split secant. Then she drove away.

Barney had made a practice of observing his daughter since she had run off. Gunnar had told him, if he didn't figure out what to do about her she was going to self destruct. He told him about the scratches on her arms, he called it self mutilating. Barney wanted to think he was exaggerating, but he hadn't been there. Gunnar was certain she was unhinged. Coming from Gunnar the most unhinged person he knew it worried him. He had seen things in her behavior that bothered him. She was withdrawn, she didn't talk about her husband and daughter. She seemed to have taken her kidnapping in stride. Marcia said Pax just shut certain things down like she was a computer. He had tried to get Gunnar to tell him where they had been the only thing he told him was fishing in Tennessee. But he didn't think that was all that had happened, he didn't know what. But Pax generally ignored Gunnar, or pretended to. Fuck he wished he knew.

Pax could hear the music before she turned off her engine. Apparently lets meet at Tools and go from there, had turned into a lets party at Tools. There were several cars parked down the road. She loved these guys but she had drank more since she met her dad then she had in the year previous to that point. One of these times they were going to see the uncontrollable pax. The one without a shut off switch, that couldn't remember anything the next day. The one that danced to much, got way to load and was ready for a fight. As agitated as she he been with Gunnar since this afternoon this could be there lucky day.

When she walked in the first person she saw was Molly. Well she thought maybe tonight wouldn't be so bad. Molly came over and gave her a big hug. "Don't you look cute tonight." She said taking in Pax's outfit. Molly leaned closer and asked "do you have a boot fetish?" Pax laughed and replied "ya sort of" she had worn brown leather boots that stopped just above her calves." Caesar came strutting over. He called out "dibs!" Before he even got there. He grabbed her by the arm and spun her around. Pax felt her cheeks pink, what was up with all her blushing. She wondered. Caesar led her around the room under his arm. Pax felt Gunnar's eyes on her, she hadn't looked at him yet but she knew he was watching her. Caesar led her to the mini fridge first and when she tried to refuse a drink he didn't take no for an answer.

Pax finally looked around the room, bikes parked along one wall there were lots of random women in the place. Most of them were incredibly trashy she noted. She didn't see Gunnar anywhere but she did see his bike. Caesar led her to where her father was setting on his bike. Lee set beside him a beautiful little brunette standing beside his bike. Lee had a arm wrapped around her waist. Pax smiled at her this must be Lace. When they reached them Lee said "Lace this is Pax, Pax this is Lace." Pax smiled at her, trying to put her at ease. She really hoped that they could get along.

Gunnar watched her from the back room, he saw Molly hug her. They talked for a moment. Then Hale had come along and hollering "dibs."and led her off to get a drink. She looked good really good in those way to tight pants, and loose fitting white tee that just barely met the top of her low cut pants. Her hair in a messy ponytail. She had on makeup it made her even more stunning. He was beginning to think that was the only word that could describe her. Gunnar walked out of the back room and over to his bike. It was parked on the other side of Barney's. "Hi" he said to her catching her gaze and holding it for a moment. She gave him a strained smile and nodded. Caesar disappeared for a moment he came back with two chairs. One for Pax the other one lace set down in before he got the chance. They laughed at his indignant expression. "So" Lace said " your Barney's daughter." The question was obviously rhetorical but she answered "ya."

Tool watched Pax from across the room. She was certainly the life of the party again, but he had the feeling she was itching for a fight with Gunnar. She was being out right rude. Gunnar seemed to be handling it well, he had decided to pay attention to one of the girls that had showed up. But that seemed to piss her off more. She purposely baited him. He wished Barney hadn't left to take Molly for a home. Someone needed to get ahold of her before she pushed Gunnar to far. Again he found himself wondering again what had happened when Gunnar had gone after her. Caesar had started running interference, so were the others Tool noted. He disentangled himself from his new friend and walked over. "Pax Hun" he said " let's go talk about your sleeve." It was a successful distraction until Gunnar showed up at her side. He had a girl tucked under each arm. Pax instantly bristled the moment she saw him. Gunnar said " I thought you were going to explain to her only tramps get sleeves." Pax was livid " well Gunnar," she said looking at him " that should make it appealing to you then." She gave a scathing look to him and his lady friends looking them up and down. "You seem to like that kind. On wait these two don't have sleeves. So apparently tramps come in any packaging." All hell broke loose, it ended with both of Gunnar's friends on their ass's and Caesar carrying her off. Tool said take her upstairs.

Gunnar watched the whole display in awe. He hadn't meant for that to happen. The two women who's names he didn't know lunged at her. Pax swung hard knocking one down then the other. Caesar picked Pax up and headed for the elevator, and Toll and Lee were escorting the girls out. Before he knew it Barney was back, and lace was upstairs with Pax.  
Pax looked at Caesar instantly embarrassed he had deposited her on Tools couch. Oh great job Pax she thought another spectacular meltdown. Damn it she buried her face in her hands. Caesar asked from somewhere above her "you alright?" Pax let out a big breath "ya." She said after another moment. She looked over as he set down beside her. He laughed "you should have seen the look on both there faces when they landed on their ass's." she gave him a dirty look " oh shut up." After another moment Pax said " well at least I won't remember anything in the morning." After a moment of quiet Caesar said "word of advice Pax, don't bait the beast." She looked at him confused for a moment then recognition set in. He went on "you never know with Gunnar how things are going to pan out. But I have seen him fuck men up for a lot less." Pax thought about her behavior until he said " look I don't know if anything happened between you two a few weeks ago or not, but Gunnar isn't someone you play around with." She laid back on the couch and soundly passed out.

Tool told Barney the story when he got there. He didn't hold back he made it clear Pax had been egging Gunnar on all night. Itching for confrontation, he didn't agree with Gunnar breaking the final straw but he could see how he would. Barney talked to Gunnar outside for along time after Lace came back downstairs and told them, Pax had passed out. When Barney and Gunnar came inside he was glad to see everything seemed alright, between them. After everyone left Barney asked " so what do you think?" Tool looked at him carful with his words he answered " Pax was itching for a confrontation." Barney took what he had said in thoughtfully. Tool said "it was like, she wasn't happy until he bit. I tried to defuse the situation but it was too late."


	12. Chapter 12

You took my hand  
You showed me how  
You promised me you'd be around  
Lyrics from Who Knew by pink

* * *

Before Pax had even opened her eyes the events of the previous night came flooding back in pieces. Caesar convincing her to drink, meeting Lees girl, someone had been fighting, Gunnar oh shit she set up quickly. She and Gunnar, they had fought no that wasn't right exactly. What the hell she couldn't remember but she new it wasn't good. What the fuck was she doing on Tools couch she wondered as she looked around. Then she heard the man himself holler from the kitchen " hungry, Pax?" She got up head pounding and walked to the kitchen. When she entered his back was to her, he was busy cooking eggs. She slid onto a stool behind the island. She slouched down elbows on the counter cheek wresting on her hand. Tool turned around and smiled "how are you feeling ?" He asked with an amused gleam in his eyes. She gave him an irritated look. "Like, hell." she said annoyed dropping her head down onto the counter. "Ya, you look like hell also." He stated. She just kept her head down and flipped him off. He chuckled putting a plate on the counter by her head. She turned her head and looked at it she reached out and pushed it away.

She picked her Head back up and looked at him. He was dishing up his own food. "So..." She said a look of apprehension on her face. Tool set down across the bar taking a bite of his food. "Yes?" He asked. He reached into a drawer pulled out some Tylenol and threw it to her. "You might want to take that whole bottle, your headaches only going to get worse." She opened the bottle took four out and headed for the sink. Tool just continued to eat and watch her."what happened?" she asked after she had set back down. He shook his head "why don't you tell me what you remember." She looked down "alcohol, lots of alcohol. Meeting Lees girlfriend, I think I liked her. Lots off people, there were lots of people around. Caesar carrying me upstairs." She looked at him and nodded his conformation. He took a big drink of o.j. she looked down and said "and a fight. I think Caesar carried me upstairs after that." After a long pause she went on looking back up at him. " I don't remember much else but, and believe me I am hoping I am wrong but I think there's something bad involving Gunnar." He leaned against the back of the stool. "Please tell me I didn't fight with someone last night." She looked at him pleadingly. "Oh shit, I purposely antagonized him didn't I." Tool said "well you could say that." She looked horrified Tool noted. "Was my da there?" She asked incredulous. "No, he was giving Molly a ride home." She let her head fall back to the counter. "Please tell me? I canna remember."  
"Well it's like you said, you got plowed and decided to purposely antagonize Gunnar." She groaned looking up at Tool again. "I tried to defuse the situation." Pax looked pained "and it worked till Gunnar decided to provoke you." The more she heard about her behavior the more embarrassment she felt. By the time Tool was done recounting her behavior she was ashamed. She knew what she had too do.

She left heading back to Ian's, on the way she called her da. "Hey da" she said "hey." Was his reply  
"Look da I know I got out of hand last night."  
"So I hear." He said almost amused  
"I am sorry da."  
"It's alright, pax. But I am not the one you owe an apology."  
"Aye, i know. look I just got home da. I will call you when I get done taking care of stuff."

Pax had felt jittery on the ride to Gunnar's now she was close to panic when she pulled into his yard. She didn't know what she was going to say besides sorry. She should have her but kicked, she had no right to act the way she had. Tool hadn't heard it all but he said she had started it, and that sounded right. She hated having to apologize it went against her nature. But she could do it if and when she had to. She shut off her truck and got out. She slowly walked to the door and knocked. Taking a deep breath she waited. Damn it, just answer the door already. Patience was not one of her virtues. It felt like forever before the door opened. When the door did finally start to open she had fight the urge to run. His hair was slicked back his face looked damp. He must have just gotten out of the shower. He just looked at her he folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the door frame. Of course he couldn't make this easy for her. He had on a thin dark gray tee shirt that fit his large frame tightly, and loose dark blue jeans, on his feet he only wore sox. Pax suddenly had to swallow past a lump in her throat. God he was attractive she found herself thinking. she gave herself a mental shake. Her eyes moved back to his face, his eyes had a slight twinkle in them. She almost groaned no doubt that was brought on from her perusal of him body. Her cheeks pinked slightly. She asked irritated "are ya gonna invite me in, or am supposed to stand here?" Gunnar stepped back, making room for her to step around him.

Gunnar boldly checked her out ounce he closed the door. After all turn about's fair play and she had done it to him. She looked good as usual she had on a tight black tank top black pin striped short that came to her knees and flip flops. Her long hair hung loose down her back. He loved her calfs they were more muscular then most women's. snap out of it he told himself. She was wary like she would bolt for smallest of reasons. He walked over and set down on the couch, he said "have a seat." She took his offer and set down in the chair across from him. She fixed her attention on him she looked like she was struggling with words. He folded his arms over his chest and her eyes fallowed his actions. She got up and paced across the room to a window. She was silent another moment then she said " I am sorry Gunnar." He said "so am I Pax" she cut him off from saying more. "You really don't have anything to apologize for Gunnar." Turning to look at him she leaned against the window sill. She looked close to tears. He went to say something she cut him off again "nay, you listen to me Gunnar, I don't talk about the things. I certainly don't show people the things I shared with you. But you came after me, no one I mean no one comes after me. I don't talk about my problems I don't share myself with people. Not anymore when I lost them... " She paused a moment and went on" I told you things, showed you things for gods sake I cried I don't cry. It made me feel threatened." She looked into his eyes"so I avoided you, and when I got drunk I baited you. I wanted that confrontation, I wanted I don't what I wanted but now I feel like an ass." Gunnar watched her a moment she walked over and set down on the couch close but not too close. He reached out and grabbed her pulling her closer she hugged him back, after a moment he said "you never have to worry about me Pax I'd never betray your trust." She cuddled closer " I know" she said " I was just afraid." Gunnar set there holding her, tucking her hair behind her ear, he knew he shouldn't. But he couldn't help it she felt good, actually she felt right. He was going to hold her till she pulled away, he would only ever have this from her, so he greedily excepted it.

Pax set curled against Gunnar enveloped in his arms so long his steady heart beat, and seductive body heat lulled her to sleep. Gunnar knew when she fell asleep her heart beat lowered and her body relaxed. Damn she was going to be the death of him. Either he'd fuck up and Barney would kill him, or he'd go nuts completely. But either way right now it was worth it, as far as he was concerned. He to dozed off soon after, his last thought before sleep claimed him was she should afraid, he was.

Pax came awake slowly, she stretched and felt cool leather against her legs. She was also wrapped in something soft and fuzzy. A soft smile crept across her lips as she remembered were she was. She opened her eyes, and set up untangling herself from the blanket. She looked around but he was no were to be seen. She got up and looked for him. She found him in the garage with Hale and Yin. They all looked up when she opened the door. Gunnar asked "did we wake you up?" She looked embarrassed "no" was her reply. Hale said "it's good you woke up, I was going to come wake you up soon." He said offering her a beer."no! " she said shaking her hands. They all laughed Ying said "why are you offering her that, shes got a pretty mean right hook, I wouldn't want to be on the other end of it." This got another laugh. She smiled "aye, I do you should all remember that." Playfully warning them. They all looked at her amused. "Try me" she warned "I have three brothers, they all thought they were tuff, but they always lost to me." Ying said " I don't believe that Ian's nearly as big as Hale." She gave them wicked look "I was the one that took kick boxing lessons."

She hung out right in the middle of what they were doing. She new about cars and engines and was passionate about it. She argued the merit of mopar against Chevy like a man. she new what she liked and not because some man told her what to think. She also argued crotch rocket against hog, and informed them all Lee was the only one with any taste she was partial to his Ducati 1098. But when someone suggested a ride she was on the back of Gunnar's bike.

Gunnar loved the feel off her arms around him almost, as much as the fact she chose his bike to ride on. Hale had tried to get her to ride with him. But she had just ignored him walked over and got on behind Gunnar. Wrapping her slender arms around his waist, and snuggling closer then she needed to. He couldn't help it he grinned at Hale. He knew he needed to respect certain boundaries and rules, but she wasn't making it easy.

Ying watched Pax and Gunnar they were different today. Almost sweet to each other, and it was becoming obvious to him Gunnar had a big soft spot for the girl. As far as she was concerned she watched his every move. This he thought could get interesting.


	13. Chapter 13

Don't you worry.  
You'll find yourself  
Fallow your heart,  
And nothing else  
Lyrics by Lynard Skynard  
Simple Man

Pax looked over at Gunnar. She smiled slightly she had found that they always went for his face, he had a cut over in right eye, the eye it's self black and blue. Other than that he was fine as usual. Over the last two and a half months, this had become their normal routine, he went away on a job came back and Pax was with him. They set on the couch in his living room, Gunnar watching a movie, Pax looking threw pictures she had taken recently. Many of them were of him she noted, he was very photogenic. Gunnar leaned close "what are you staring at Pax?" He asked playfully. She turned her iPad clicking the button, so it would go to the home screen. "Nothing" she answered. Standing up she smiled and said "let's go." He gave her look meant to intimidate. She rolled her eyes, he folded his arms across his chest. "Let's go! You oaf." He gave her that infuriating smile. She found her eyes drawn to the scar on his cheek. She had never really noticed it, she'd known it was there but it was just apart of him. In a couple of the pictures, she was looking at today it seemed to stick out.

Pax looked around Molly's the place was packed, more so then usual. She was just not into this tonight, she needed to talk to her da about her trip with Ian and Liam . They were leaving in two weeks for South Africa Cape buffalo hunting. She planned on telling him tonight, it was only a two week trip but Pax wasn't sure she was coming back. She glanced at Gunnar where he set across from her, he was talking to Caesar. She hadn't told him either. She had wanted to but she couldn't. She had known for a month but she hadn't been able to tell him. She didn't want to think about the reason she couldn't tell him. Caesar reached over and grabbed her arm pulling her out of her seat. He hauled her out onto the dance floor, no questions asked. Bad company can't get enough was playing. Caesar spun her around the dance floor, and she was in heaven.

" when are you leaving?" Barney asked. "A couple weeks" she smiled. "I am actually really excited about it!" She said enthusiastically. "Sounds like fun" Barney said taking a drag off his cigar. She had come to love the smell of his cigars. "Maybe you and I could go sometime." She said. Barney chuckled "maybe" was his reply. "I don't know where you got your love for, shooting animals that could kill you." He had leaned back on the couch. "Colin, he used to go big game hunting often. I nagged him until he took me, then I developed my own passion for it." Barney looked at her and smiled "he's been a good dad to you."Pax nodded "Aye, he has. He always made me feel like I belonged. Actually they all did, I remember when mum told me he wasn't my da. I was crushed, you know some people will say it better to tell the child from the beginning. But I don't think so, I think that a child needs that support, and security. I was thirteen when they told me. Colin was there when mum told me, he just hugged me and told me that it didna make any difference. I was his little girl, he said he fell in love with me, and that's why he married mum." Barney was jealous of what she had with Colin. he knew she loved and excepted him for what he was, but he wished he could have been there through her growing up years. That he could have given her away, and been there when Abby was born. And what came after, when she had lost everything. "You were lucky to have him, and his family." Pax said "I know."

They set there watching a movie, Barney found his thoughts going back to Pax. He wished she would open up to him but she wouldn't, the only one she seemed completely at ease with was Gunnar. It bothered him a lot. She was with Gunnar more then anyone else. Marcia had said to leave it be Gunnar had a calming influence on her. But Barney didn't like it, Gunnar was unpredictable at best. true this time he had been clean for a long while, but he still wasn't someone he wanted her mixed up with. Even if he never touched drugs again. Church had come to see him apparently he didn't like the association either. The only reason Barney he hadn't tried to stop it was Tool said, Pax seemed to sooth Gunnar. He also didn't believe Gunnar would ever harm her, even if he did start using again.

Pax was setting at tools shop arguing with him about her sleeve apparently none of the guys wanted her to get one. Finally she and Tool found a compromise. He was going to put scroll work on her back over the top of her shoulder, and wrap it around her upper arm ounce. She was happy with that, she hung out while Tool while he drew it out. "South Africa, hunh?" He asked. She smiled "ya" she answered with enthusiasm. "Told Gunnar yet?" He asked "no" was her reply. Tool looked up at her from over his glasses, she looked down. "It's not that big of a deal." Tool looked back down and continued to work on his drawing " it's not like he should know or anything." He said looking back up at her for a second. Pax got defensive "it's not like we are seeing each other or dating." Tool looked back up at her this time taking off his glasses. She looked away " I don't remember saying you were, you guys are close is all I was saying." Pax felt instant embarrassment, "I know" she said. Quickly changing the subject she said "how soon can we do my tat."  
Tool went back to work on his sketch "as soon as I am done if you want." She smiled excitedly " good then get cracking."

When Tool finally started work on her arm she wasn't sure how much more, of this she was going to be into today. Gunnar had called awhile ago but she hadn't answered she wanted this done before he gave his opinion. She was sure she wasn't going to like it. She thought about what she had said earlier, and she still wasn't sure where it had come from. Her and Gunnar together that was absurd. It was good she was leaving she decided.

She listened to her father and Tool talk about up coming job. Routine was the phrase her da kept using. What she wondered what was a routine job for a merc? After a moment of silence Barney said "how you doing, Pax? You don't look so good." She gave a fake smile "spectacular" Tool hit the over sensitive under side of her arm, and had to bite the inside of her cheek. Just as Tool was finishing up the others rolled in. Like some badass biker gang, the thing was they really were badass. Gunnar shut off his bike and just set there looking at her. She met his gaze, mischievously arching her eyebrow.

Pax walked over too where Gunnar was setting in conversation with with Yin and Toll. What a shock she thought they all wanted to go to the bar. Caesar suggested the unsurprising idea and shocking they had all agreed. Gunnar had seen her coming toward him in his peripheral vision. She had a beer in her hand, she looked like she had something on her mind. She stopped beside him the others realizing by her expression she had something on her mind. Gunnar looked over at her she asked "hey, you wanna go for a ride?" Gunnar studied her face for a moment "sure." he answered. "I have to ride with you though." Gunnar new she wouldn't ride her bike after having a beer. She threw her bottle away and went to get her helmet. Barney said "you wanna ride with me?" She smiled " nay, I am going for a ride with Gunnar. I need to talk to him, we will be there in a bit." She climbed on the back of his bike, wrapping her arms around his well muscled torso. He asked "were too?" She said "the river."

Gunnar pulled into the picnic area knowing she loved this spot. He shut off the bike and she climbed off. Taking off her helmet as she went. He just took off his helmet and waited he knew something was on her mind. She stood with her back to him why she wondered, was it so hard to say the words. He watched her the moonlight shining off her hair. Sometimes he mused she almost had an other worldly quality about her. Like tonight in the moonlight, with fireflies all around them. He asked after waiting for her to talk a few moments, "how's your back?" She turned around and looked at him "my backs fine, but shoulder and arm are sore." After a pause she said " come on." He got off his bike leaving his helmet on the seat, and walked with her too the water. She picked up a stone and skipped it then said "I'm going away Gunnar. Where going to South Africa Cape buffalo hunting." He nodded slowly "when are you leaving?" She finally looked at him "Two weeks." Pax felt better after telling him, she was fallowing her heart she convinced herself. Besides the fact she wasn't coming back that she wasn't telling him.


	14. Chapter 14

IF I COULD FIND ASSURANCE TO LEAVE YOU  
BEHIND  
I KNOW MY BETTER HALF WOULD FADE  
AND ALL MY DOUBT IS IN A STAIRCASE FOR YOU  
UP AND OUT OF THIS MAZE  
Words from I'll fallow you by Shinedown

They set on the beach watching the sun go down. She had taken off her boots and rolled her pants legs up around her knees. He watched her in the fading light. Reclining on her elbows, hair down cascading down her back. Her gaze on the horizon. In the three months he had known her, he had come to care for her, to what length he didn't care to investigate. She was goofy, obnoxious, passionate, and alive. He shifted his gaze back to the horizon, so she wouldn't catch him staring at her. That seemed to be happening more and more of late. She was leaving in two days Cape Buffalo hunting with her brothers. This was the last time he would see her. he was leaving with lee in the morning for a scouting trip. he had said he would so Barney could spend the day with her .He had asked when she was coming back, she had simply stated I don't know. He prayed she would come back soon, or he would if he was a praying man. But part of him knew if she didn't it would be better.

The movement of her scooting closer brought his attention back to the here and now. She smiled at him, and said as she wiggled up close laying her back against his chest, her head wresting just below his chin"time for a picture." He complied even though he hated having his picture taken, he was loath to deny her anything at this moment. He rested his chin on her head and wrapped one arm around her waist. She held up the camera and took a couple pics reminding him to smile.

She started humming another favorite thing of hers to do, that or sing. Just another thing in the long line of things that he liked about her. She stayed snuggled up to him and watched the sun go down the rest of the way. He was content to let her stay right where she was as long as she wanted. Soon he heard her singing "as we were dancing, Mary arms are wrapping around me and I can feel the sting of summer on my skin. In the midst of the music I tell her I love her we both laugh cause we know it isn't true. But Mary there's a summer drawing to an end tonight and there's so much that I long to do to you." When she sang her accent almost completely disappeared. He loved to hear her sing, goofy songs at ridiculous times like in the grocery store. But this one time, she didn't know how powerful an affect the song she had in her head was having on him. She jumped up, snapping him out of it. Brushing the sand off of her and saying" come on old man, we have to meet da and the others at Molly's" with a excited smile she burst out singing at the top of her lungs " cause I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't when I'll be back again." Gunnar jumped up"old man?" He asked indignantly "old man" he repeated. Pax knelt down swooped up her boots and took off running. Gunnar watched her smiling until she looked back over her shoulder and hollered "that's right." He laughed and chased after her. She was laughing gleefully. He caught up with her quickly and threw her over his shoulder. He ran the rest of the way to the parking lot with her hanging over his shoulder like a sack of flower. When he put her down she was laughing so hard she doubled over. He asked now do you think a old man could do that?" he asked not even winded. She giggled a real girlish giggle rather then her normal obnoxious laugh.

He had opened the drivers side door to her truck, and was trying to brush more sand off before he got in. She climbed in the truck not worried about the sand. "Come on, Gunnar" she said. He kicked as much sand off boots as he could, and climbed in. He smiled at the sound of his name on her lips. He liked it. He buckled up he knew if he didn't she'd have something to say. They backed out and headed down the road and she touched his arm drawing his attention. "I am going to miss you, Gunnar." Her voice very serious.

They arrived at Molly's about twenty minutes later. It was a sad evening they all new she was leaving. None of them including Barney expected her to come back. She danced and drank a bit, but since that night a Tools she hadn't got drunk. Everyone was shocked when Gunnar grabbed right off of Hales arm, and spun her around the dance floor himself. When Hale had protested, Gunnar said shes mine for this one go find someone else. She was his three more times before they all left. She found herself wishing he had asked her to dance a longtime ago. Lace had came it was the first time Pax had seen her since Tools. Pax found she really did like her, to bad things hadn't worked so they could have been friends.

The whole day had been kind of bittersweet, Pax reflected later that night as she was printing the pictures she had taken earlier in the day. She had decided she was going to give these to Gunnar, herself she knew she wasn't coming back she hadn't told anyone but, she wasn't. Somehow she had developed a soft spot for the big giant. She had meant what she said, she was going to miss him. But it was time for Pax to move on. She heard sometimes good bye is a second chance start to play on the radio. It made things seem more... She didn't know how to describe it just more.

Gunnar had spent a sleepless night trying to commit every piece the day to memory. He focused on her when she had been snuggled up against his chest. Her smell mixed with the salt air. Ya it was a really good thing she was going to be on that plane in two days. He was twice her age, even if you could ignore that, which would be difficult. He wasn't the type of man he'd want that close to his own daughter if he had one. Ex drug addict that killed for a living.

Barney was supposed to be here to give him a rianyone fifteen minutes. He quickly checked his bag for everything he needed. He saw headlights pulling in his yard he glanced at the clock he was actually about fifteen minutes early which was strange for Barney. Gunnar ran upstairs to grab his other bag when he heard the knock he hollered come in. Not even looking back. But for some reason he wasn't really surprised when he saw her. Hair messy jogging pants legs around her knees black sweatshirt and sneakers. Still he paused for a moment and took in the sight one more memory. She was adorable he decided, when he came down the stairs she was all sleep ruffled and messy. He smiled that smile. A slow one that snuck its way onto his face the half smile that Pax liked best. Though shed never admit that to him. "You don't look to shocked to see me." She teased. He came to stand in front of her, his bag discarded on the floor. "Why would I be, I just new you'd have to see me one last time. Who could resist all this." He joked. She stuck her hand out handing him a envelope. Eyes twinkling he opened it up. It was the pictures, she had taken the day before. There were a couple of him alone one of the sun setting and the two of them together. She was confused suddenly, and blurted out I am your ride to the airport da is picking up Lee" Gunnar looked at her understanding what was happening before he asked the question" So ... You couldn't wait two weeks to give me these?" She bit her lower lip, and looked down feeling somehow weak and afraid. No no she felt ashamed. Gunnar went on to say "it's cause you're not coming back are you?" She looked at him and gave a smile that was forlorn.  
"Well I guess it's good that you brought these then."

The ride to the airport was sad. She tried to be playful, and joke so did he but neither of their hearts were in it. She didn't dare go in with him at the airport she didn't want Lee and her father to see her emotions. She couldn't help herself she got out walked around the truck, and wrapped herself around him. Tucking her head against his chest at first Gunnar was taking off guard but in a second he had one arm wrapped around her the other holding her head. She pulled back after a couple minutes pulling away from him altogether. She rose up on her tip toes and pulled his head down whispering in his ear "goodbye"Gunnar closed his eyes. Holding back emotions he wouldn't allow himself to unleash. What she did next shook him to his core. She turned her head and placed a kiss on the edge of his mouth and whispered "I am going to miss you." She pulled away not looking at him got into her truck and drove away, and Gunnar knew that his better half would fade. It would fallow her, she had helped him find that place, were he could be a better man. She was that place.


	15. Chapter 15

Cape Town South Africa*  
Holy cannoli she was glad to be off the plane after 23 hours of travel time. It's was ten forty am and beautiful, pax pulled her phone out of her pocket and texted her mum landed call later. When they got outside she took a picture of the airport and sent it too her da. The air was warm and smelled of the ocean. They were going to spend there first night in Cape Town then head north tomorrow. Liam had pulled out his phone and called Beth he wasn't liking being separated from Emma his four month old. This made Pax smile, Ian was complaining because they hadn't pulled there rental around yet. Oh great she thought they hadn't even been in South Africa a hour and Ian was already complaining, haha he was worse then a women! Pax wanted a shower food and then she planned on exploring Cape Town, with her camera!

As they started driving away from the airport and she was assaulted by the beauty of this place she wondered why, she hadn't spent more time here. The views were amazing the ocean the mountains. It was a paradise, one of the grandest place she had ever travelled. Ian had thank god rented a mid sized SUV it was a Toyota 4runner. At least she had some leg room. They arrived at their hotel about fifteen minutes later, after check in Pax showered ditched her brothers and went exploring.

She stopped at a road side vendor and got some local fare. After she got done eating she pulled out her phone planning to call her da until she remembered the time difference. If it was noon here that meant, it was five in the morning their. Thinking of her da made her think of Gunnar, who she had tried hard not to think about. What had possessed her, she had nearly kissed him full on the lips. Yup, leaving New Orleans for a while was smart. She hoped he didn't... Hell, she didn't know what she hoped. Better to not think about him, she'd worry about that mañana.

New Orleans*

Barney just got off the phone with Pax! She seemed to be having a great time. She had texted him probably forty pic since she had got there two days ago. They were starting there hunt tomorrow, from a small back water. Fourteen days in the South African bush, hunting one the most notoriously dangerous animals on earth. She was already, talking about going back lion hunting. She was nuts, he thought with a smile.

South Africa*

It was hot Pax had started her day in pants and a jacket she was stripped down to shorts and a tank top. They had seen plenty of animals on their safari trip so far. Lions chasing down a gazelle, had been amazing. The heard of wildebeests was equally awe inspiring. Outside of Cape buffalo she really wanted to see elephants. Liam had asked if their were any known man eaters in the area, meaning lions. Their guide simply laughed. Pax smiled at her slightly paranoid younger brother. You couldn't even tell they were related, his hair was red like Colin's. He had freckles, and green eyes standing at six one he wasn't short. People had always thought Ian was her real brother, their coloring was identical except his skin turned darker In the summer. They made camp that night tomorrow they would be hunting! She couldn't wait!

* New Orleans nine days later

Gunnar looked across the engine compartment of Barney's latest project, and asked "how's Pax?" Their he had finally asked the question he had wanted to ask for days. Barney looked up at him for a second then going back to pulling the intake off the engine." Not sure, she lost cell coverage nine days ago. But I bet she's loving every minute of it." Lee who was standing across the garage, leaning against the work bench. "Blood thirsty little wench, you got their Barney." Barney said "you guys really don't know. she's planning on going back soon lion hunting." Gunnar and Lee both laughed. Lee said "maybe blood thirsty isn't the right term, sounds more like suicidal to me." Barney laughed "ya, I know." He pulled the intake the rest of the way off dropping it into a box by his feet. "She wants me to go with her, but holy shit the hunt she wants to do costs almost forty five thousand, and doesn't include airfare." Lee said "shit why so much?" Barney was back to wrenching on the 440 in front of him." It's a dangerous game hunt and you have to pay a trophy fee. the one she's on is costing her thirty thousand." Lee said "ya, I can think of lot better ways to spend that kind off money." Gunnar said "tell me about it." Barney made a amused noise, "we'll you guys heard her say. Adrenalin was her vice, and I guess hunting animals that could kill her gives her a fix." Lee looked at Gunnar and said "no wonder you guys get along so well, she certifiable." Gunnar looked at him and laughed. Barney warned jokingly "hey Christmas."

South African plains eleven days out*

"Holy shit!" Liam exclaimed. "You, hit it sis!" Pax's heart was pumping holy crap she thought six hundred yards, she had been uncertain she could make that shot when Liam had goaded her into it. She stood up dusting herself off, "you owe me two thousand bucks, brother dear." Liam looked at her laughing, "best two grand I ever blew." Ian spoke up " ya well you owe me two hundred also don't forget." Their guide Jax was laughing as he handed Pax her camera. "Got to admit, I didn't think you'd hit him either." They jumped in the jeep and drove out to where her buffalo lay. Jax said "good job, that ones about thirteen hundred pounds."

Later that evening she pulled out her camera and turned it on pointing at herself she said "well as you saw, I did it Gunnar!" Ian watched Pax from where he set, giving her nightly update. His little sister had a lot of interest in that man. When they had teased her about it she told them to get lost. Well, he thought if Lance was right it was good she wasn't going home with them. Gunnar was dangerous, Lance had said an ex druggie who's love of his job bordered on deranged.

New Orleans five days later*

Gunnar walked into his house pulled the DVD out of its package, and put it in. He grabbed the remote and set down on the the couch. The DVD started and Pax was on the screen in front of him. She was wearing a olive green tank top, camo cargo pants, black boots and she had a baseball cap on. She said "hello Gunnar, this is day one of the safari!" She smiled "this is the South African plains." Gunnar watched the entire DVD it was about forty minutes long. She had him in knots, she wasn't even here and she had him wound up.

Three weeks later*

Toll walked into Molly's he was supposed to be meeting the guys. He spotted them at their normal table, he walked over pulled up a chair. He looked at Barney "so we're good right." Barney gave him an almost smile "ya, when you leaving?" Toll Road looked like a little kid at Christmas time, Barney noted. Pax said "I should leave day after tomorrow." This got Gunnar's attention, before that he had been milking his beer and staring off into space. Hale asked "where the hell you going?" Toll said "Norway, Pax is hooking me up." He smiled "she taking me BASE jumping!" Gunnar was surprised hadn't even heard from her besides that video, and she was taking Road BASE jumping. Gunnar found he was feeling a little jealous ha that was funny.

Another two weeks later*

Gunnar set down on his couch, turning on the tv. Toll had brought him another DVD. This one came on in a hotel sweet, she had on yoga shorts and a hoodie, she was setting on the floor her hair pulled back in a messy bun. She smiled and said "hello, Gunnar. Well I am in Ireland right now."

That night at Molly's, Toll entertained them with the story of his trip. He said she was fucking nuts but fun as hell. Besides BASE jumping twice, they had gone mountain climbing, snowboarding, and ended up in Frankfurt. Toll said "ya, it was fun, but I couldn't keep up with her. Hell I don't know anyone that could." Hale said "I need her to take me on vacation!" Toll laughed "you have fun with, I think I need a vacation, to recover from my vacation." Gunnar took this all in, his arm wrapped around his old Pal Tonya. He had gotten sick of waiting for Pax to call or come back. Those videos were only a tease, she was determined to drive him nuts. She never texted him or called but she wanted him too know she was alive. He thought about that kiss, it had kept him up at night like she'd shoved her little tongue in his mouth. He actual dreamed about having sex with her, when that had happened he had decided to seek relief. So enter Tonya and a half dozen like her. He was doing good till Road had dropped off that DVD, and he'd spent an hour being throughly charmed. Afterwords he felt frustrated, and wound up again. Served him right if he got another one he should throw it away, but he wouldn't he knew that.


	16. Chapter 16

New Orleans five days before Christmas*

Christmas time Barney thought his least favorite time of year. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't so commercial. But this year he was kind of excited even though he wouldn't admit it. He had found the perfect presents for his daughter, he hoped she liked them. he also had a surprise. he had bought a small two story on an couple acres outside of town. One reason was because it was big enough she could stay with him when she was in town, and second it had a big shop. He would be leaving for Ireland the day after tomorrow, she had said that was all she wanted for Christmas.

Galway Ireland*

Pax was so excited her da was coming, she was making everything perfect. She had hung garlands on the banister, and trimmed the tree. The whole house had been decked out in traditional Irish decorations. Ian would be here tomorrow, her dad three days later! Her mum, Colin and the rest of the family would be here for New Years. She hoped her da would stay until after New Years, but he said it was to long to be gone. He needed to get back quick on account of work, he needed too be there if a call came in.

Pax found herself thinking about Gunnar a lot these days, she wanted to call him. She couldn't imagine why he hadn't she had sent him those videos, had he even watched them? But the ball was in his court, she wouldn't call. She had sent him a present some Swedish candy shed had a friend bring her from Sweden, along with another DVD. She hoped he got it before Christmas, if she didn't hear from him no more videos.

Barney arrived right on schedule, two days before Christmas. She met him at the airport, when he saw her he stopped taking the sight in. She hadn't seen him yet. She had on a boiled wool pea coat, scarf sweater leggings and boots. Her long hair swept back over her shoulders. She was beautiful to him, more so then the last time he had seen her. He smiled a real smile, watching her. She smiled when she saw him, and ran to him. Barney picked her up and spun her around, hugging her tight. "I have missed you, da!" She said laughing. "I have missed you too." He said

New Orleans Christmas Eve*

Gunnar was celebrating christmas the same way he always did. With a willing women and alcohol. It was about seven o'clock when the knock came on the door. He looked over at the naked blond sprawled out beside him. Blanch or Brenda he couldn't remember, he climbed out of bed and pulled on his pants. Who the hell would be knocking on his door on Christmas Eve. He looked out the window he saw a delivery truck pulling out of his yard. Curious he went downstairs and opened the door there was a box setting on his step. He picked it up, Galway Ireland Pax had sent him a package. He was kind of surprised, he peeled the tape open. Inside he found a bunch of candy he hadn't had since he left Sweden, the kind of stuff you couldn't get in the states. He smiled setting down on the couch, digging threw the box. Leave it to Pax too be this cool, mixed in with the candy was an envelope inside were a few pics,and a DVD.

He got up put it in and pushed play. She was standing outside, there was snow on the ground. She was all bundled up in a pea coat, jeans, boots and a scarf. "Merry Christmas, Gunnar!" She gave him a tour of her stepfathers house, showed him her tree she was very proud of it. There was other footage, she had taken of Ireland. When the video was over he set with his head in his hands. Damn it, he wanted her to come back. He missed her, and she was driving him more crazy away then she did here. He was drinking way more, and taking anything home that was willing. Like tonight he had brought a women here, that was normal for this night of the year. But it wasn't just tonight, he had been so lonely without her, she had been here so much. He had brought women here trying to erase her from his house. It wasn't working though, he doubted it ever would. Gunnar grabbed his phone off the coffee table, and texted merry Christmas Pax, thanks for the present.

New Orleans after the new year*

Barney didn't return until after the new year. he had texted them all and told them he wasn't coming back as planned. When he did get back it was the third of January, but he didn't come alone. When Tool picked him up at the airport, he had Pax with him. Tool took them to Barney's new place and dropped them off. She went directly to bed, and slept for the rest of the day and night. She came stumbling down stairs the next morning, there was a note on the fridge. Hey I got a job this morning, doing a briefing be back soon. Great she had no vehicle.

Pax had showered, dressed and gotten some breakfast. He smiled when he saw her, he was glad she was here. He had missed her. She looked over at him quickly then back to the screen. He looked at the t.v. and shock his head amused, she was watching butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid. He set down on the other end of the couch hadn't seen this movie in a decade or more. " I have to go back town, we have to get stuff ready. We are leaving tomorrow night." She set contemplating him for a moment. They shrugged saying "alright Da." She turned her focus back to the tv for a moment. Barney could tell she was let down by this development. " hey kid," he said "get youre shoes on and come with me." She glanced at him "I am sure the guys would like to see you." Pax mind went directly two Gunnar. She felt nervous sure they had texted on Christmas, for a bit. But texting was one thing seeing him face to face was another thing entirely. After a few minutes of back and forth with herself she said. "Okay."

Pax knew she wasn't ready to see him. but she probably wouldn't feel ready for a longtime. She might as well get it over with, but she chickened out. She had her da drop her at Ian's, he wasn't due back from Ireland for one more week. But the thought of getting her truck had been way more appealing than seeing Gunnar. Pax finally got up the nerve about an hour later to go to the hanger.

Gunnar saw her driving up, and slow smile spread across his face. She parked her truck just outside the doors. He watched climb out her forgot how much he liked those legs, she had on jeans boots and a tight gray sweater her jacket she had on unzipped. Gunnar watched her, she gave him a bright smile. Watched him a moment more, than ran to him. She wrapped her arms around his muscular torso, Gunnar pulled her close. But he broke the hug quickly aware every eye was on them. He looked down at her "you didn't tell me you were coming back." She gave him an almost shy smile " I didn't know, until three days ago." She looked up at him, wanting to wrap herself around him again. She didn't realize until that moment how much she had missed him.


	17. Chapter 17

Right from the start  
You were a thief  
You stole my heart  
And I your willing victim  
I let you see the parts of me  
That weren't all that pretty  
And with every touch you fixed them

Pink - Just Give Me A Reason Lyrics

* * *

Pax took her da to the hanger the next morning. They arrived before anyone else, Barney jumped out and unlocked the door. Pax shut off her truck, and got out. Brrr she thought it is cold, the thermometer in her truck said it was 23. She bet the real feel was a bit colder, after her first winter in Nevada she had decided she preferred dry winters, to wet ones. Wet cold seeped into your body, like this morning her teeth had chattered the whole way here. Even with her heater cranked, and seat warmer on. Apparently jeans, uggs, along sleeved shirt, sweater and coat weren't much of a help either. She had just got inside when Lee pulled in driving his pretty little S4, it was still covered in frost. She watched him pull into the hanger, and shut off his car. She smiled at him, as he got out. She asked" have I ever told you I love this car." Lee smiled in return and shook his head "no, you haven't." He grabbed his bags out of the trunk "well I do." She replied. "They handle like their on rails!"  
Lee nodded his head laughing slightly " ya, I've noticed."  
How's Lace?" Pax asked as they walked to the plane together. " she's great, I told her you were back she wants to see you." Pax smiled "I would like that."  
" you want her number, you guys could hang out while we're gone."  
"Aye."  
"You guys could go shopping or something girlie." Pax looked at him giving him a disbelieving look. Her shop who did he think he was talking to. But realized instantly by the amused look on his face he was joking with her. "Well she's going to ask you to go shopping, I told her I didn't think that would be much fun for you, unless it was gun shopping." She laughed, and lee gave her laces number! Pax was kind of excited about hanging out with a girl!

She hung around, almost giddy she wanted to see Gunnar. She had really wanted to hang out with him last night, but had decided to just go home with her da. It had been the best thing to do. Plus she enjoyed spending time with her da. He wasn't very forthcoming unless she probed, but he was her da, and she genuinely enjoyed being with him. He was rather fun , she had discovered.  
Gunnar wasn't the last two arrive but close to it. She watched him pull in and slowly walked over. Damn, was the first thing that ran through her mind when he got out of his truck. She had to admit he looked extremely good all suited up. But he seemed to always look good, he was simply a very attractive man. She had to give herself a mental slap, it didn't matter how hot he might be drooling wasn't a good idea. He was off limits, old enough to be her father, and right now that seemed to be the only protest her brain could form. She walked up to him, she knew her cheeks were slightly pink, with self embarrassment. Gunnar noticed it she realized, and she had the strange idea he knew why they were pink. His blue eyes were, brighter than normal he looked almost predatory. Pax's pulse quickened. She understood in that moment, he was attracted to her also. Gunnar saw that gleam in her eyes, that one that could get them both into a world of trouble. She needed to be more careful, or she was going to end up on her back with her legs thrown over his shoulders. That he knew would get him killed, if Barney was in the right mood. But it just might be worth it.

"Hey Pox," he teased trying to diffuses the tension he was feeling. She gave him a dirty look. "Be nice!" She joked. Truth be told she didn't mind if he referred to her as Pox, he'd only ever done it ounce before. He chuckled as he grabbed his gear. She reached out and grabbed his rifle from his hand. "So, she began "when you get back, you get to cook me dinner." She made an amused noise, "really? and why would I do that?" He asked in an entertained voice. She playfully nudged his arm with her shoulder. "That's what good friends do, when one comes back from an extended vacation." She explained. He looked down at her as they walked along, "good friends?" He questioned playfully. She gave an exaggerated nod "oh aye, that best of friends!" Gunnar watched her a moment longer, watching the mischievous twinkle in her bright eyes. "I could do that, I'm going to warn you I'm not a very good cook." They had reached the plane, "how about the day after we get back." Pax gave him a blinding smile, she never stood still he mused as he watched her bouncing around. She was a bundle of energy always fidgeting. "It's a deal!" She said as she handed him his gun. "Be safe," she said in a serious voice. Holding his gaze, Gunnar could see she meant it. It wasn't just something to say. She hugged him quickly and bounced of to say by to Barney. Later after they had taken off, Gunnar pulled a carefully folded picture out of his breast pocket. He unfolded it gently and run his thumb along the line of her cheek. She had taken this that day at the beach, she had snuggled up against him, head resting on his chest just below his chin. He smiled faintly, god she was a hard women to read. She'd let him get close, then dance away eyes laughing.

Pax called Lace later that morning, they made plans to meet for lunch. Lace looked at Pax across the table, they were talking about Lee. It seemed that was the only topic Lace really wanted to talk about. Pax had realized the poor girl had no idea what lee did for a living. It just bothered her he was gone so much, Pax could understand that. It caught Pax By complete surprise when Lace asked "so what the story with you and Gunnar?" Nonplussed she answered after a moment, "we're just good friends, why?" Lace nodded as she took a drink of her ice tea. "Just curious, Lee said if I wanted to get to know you, I was going to have to stand in line. He said your always with Gunnar." Pax considered this for a moment, "ya, he's pretty much right." She cocked her head to the side looking at Lacey." Really he's probably, my best friend after my brother, Ian." Lace asked slightly confused. " if he's your best friend then, why did you pick that fight with him?" Pax didn't know if she liked these personal questions, and she chose her answer carefully. "Because, I was mad at him." Lace knew she wasn't going to get anymore answers, but said anyway "he's kind of attractive, in a scary sort, of way." Pax was a little surprised by this statement also. "Aye, a lot of women seem to feel that way." Pax answered, not admitting that she found him highly attractive these days, and it had nothing to do with him being scary. He was just simply, for lack of any other way to put it, Gunnar. She quickly changed the subject before she ended up flustered. Much to Pax's dismay they did end up shopping. Lacey needed a new dress, her and Lees anniversary was coming up. Surprisingly enough the experience wasn't horrible. Pax even bought herself some cloths, including a little dress. Maybe she'd wear it when Gunnar cooked her dinner. That would be entertaining to say the least.

The next five days, passed uneventfully. Pax sold some photos, she went to a gallery opening with Josh. Last minute he called his girlfriend had dumped him. So Pax had got dolled up, in the dress. She stood staring at herself in the mirror, she felt uncomfortable. The dress was made from black satin. Lace had said it was the essential little black dress. Strapless it fit just over the swell of her breasts, which made it impossible to look down which she liked. It had a high empire waist, the breast part, pleated. Below the waistband it was lightly pleated the thin material ended half way down her thighs. She had chose black slouchy boots that came just below her knees with a two inch heel. And a black dress coat that came to her knees. She fixed her hair with the straightening iron parting it on the side. It hung straight and shiny down her back nearly too her waist. Last of all she did her make up the dark eye makeup made her eyes stand out. The clear lipgloss made her naturally pink lips look dewy. Not to shabby she thought, despite her discomfort. Needless to say josh was, shocked when he met her at the gallery. He took it all in, but said nothing he knew better. It was all great until, she got a text from her dad around eight that said he'd be in, in a half hour. A day early and she didn't even have time to change.

She made her excuses to Josh and left. The city was busy and they landed before she got there. They were all there, she was instantly embarrassed. She took a deep breath steeled her nerves, put her truck in park and got out leaving it running. The minute her feet touched the ground Hale whistled a long low whistle. "You got all dressed up just for us?" He playfully asked. Strolling over acting like a clown. She laughed, she looked around noting everyone's entertainment including her father. Hale said "why don't you show us what's under that jacket, pretty lady?" Pax laughed again rolling her eyes. She ignored him walking over to her father and the others. Gunnar she noted had an amused look on his face, she gave him a dirty look, and looked away her gaze coming to rest on her father. "Your home early." She said hugging him, and noticing he looked slightly haggard tonight. He hugged her tight, glad she was there. "Ya things went quicker than we thought." She pulled back smiling at him. " you look good tonight, did I interrupt something?" Letting go and stepping back she said "not really, just at a gallery opening with a friend." Hale boisterously announced, they needed to go to the bar. Pax's eyes instantly shot to her da. "What do you think?" He asked questioning. Pax said "sure, if you want." Planning on changing ounce she hit home. Barney was glad she had said yes, he could use a strong drink tonight. He said "well I am just gonna jump in the shower here, I got clean cloths in my bag." Pax watched him walk off, and turned her attention to Yang. He was making excuses to set this one out. Everyone else had agreed to the plan. She looked over at Gunnar who was eyeing her, expectantly. He had a small amount of blood over his eye, she could see where the skin had been split open. A bloody steri strip held it partly closed, it actually need two she thought. He walked over to her, she couldn't help but smile as she looked at him. The others were loading up and taking off, she watched Lee jump in his car and hollered "bring lace!" He smiled and said "I will." Ounce his car backed out and turned. Gunnar broke the silence she hadn't looked back at him yet. "So, you gonna let me see what's under that coat." She laughed giving him an uncooperative look. " nay" She stated. Gunnar gave her a slow knowing smile, " I bet I'd like" he said. She blushed slightly, and looked away. "Aye" was her reply,and "I am sure you'll see it before the nights over with." He gave a cock sure laugh, "ah, it good to be back. Talking to you is always stimulating." She gave a laugh of her own. He reached out and grabbed her giving her a hug. "I will see you in a bit" he said as he let go of her, "and hopefully without the coat"

When Gunnar arrived at Molly's Pax was setting between her father, and Lacey. He instantly noted her bare shoulders, and that tattoo he hated that thing. It wasn't that it was badly done, he just liked the idea of her skin being unmarked. He knew she had other tattoos but none that were visible normally. There was something about, the possibility of being the only person,that got to see them. Not that he got to see them or anything but still the thought was a turn on. That dress from what he could see so far was not to his liking either. Her pale shoulder were bare, the neck line completely covered breasts. But it would draw the eye more that way, like it was trying to be modest, but failed. it clung to her breasts the waist band just below them. She smiled at him when he entered then went back to her conversation with Lacey.

When Gunnar was leaving the bathroom later, he saw her she was standing at the bar. Men standing around her competing for her attention. She was laughing he noted. He looked toward the table the others appeared to be deep in conversation. He walked toward her, noting one over zealous guy run his finger down her arm. She changed her stance, moving away from him. He advanced closer, he caught Molly's gaze from behind the bar. She looked at Pax then gave him a worried look. Pax appeared to be getting agitated with the guy that had touched her. Pax saw him, a look of relief crossed her face. Gunnar moved past the guy, and touched Pax's arm. His hand sliding possessively, down her arm, he looked at the guy. Pax couldn't see his face, but judging from the other guys it wasn't a pleasant look. "Pax, sweets you ready to go back yet." She looked at him he still wasn't looking at her. "Aye" She answered. Gunnar's fingers threaded with hers for a moment, as he lead her away. He looked down at her smiling, "by the way, I do like that little dress. But I'm apparently not the only one." She was returning his gaze, his had taken on that almost possessive light he looked dangerous. She felt a shiver cross her skin, so ok now she got the dangerous thing, he looked dangerous. Dangerous could definitely be... STOP IT, PAX! She screamed to herself, get it under control. He's OLD enough to be your da, he is YOU'RE DA'S friend, and he's an EX DRUGGIE... She continued to remind herself the rest of the night. He didn't give her that look again, he treated her just like he always did but still she had to remind herself. Gunnar fell asleep that night, thinking about peeling that little black dress, off her firm body.

The next day about mid morning Gunnar called Pax, to make sure she was still coming to for dinner with him tonight. When they got off the phone, he went to the grocery store. She showed up an hour early, Gunnar knew the moment he heard the knock on the door it was her. He opened the door, and stepped back not saying a word just letting her walk in. He noted the jeans she had on were tight, and made her ass look really good. Fuck he needed to not think of her like that, but it was hard. She turned to look at him, she unzipped her coat and took it off. She had on a skin tight, burgundy shirt it was long sleeved the cuffs came out half way over her hands it had a v neck. She had on those obscenely tight dark wash jeans, a brown leather belt, and brown leather boots. They were inside her pants he noted. Her long hair hung like it did last night, and she had on make up. Gunnar's mouth went dry, damn she was hot. No that wasn't right, she was a sexual being. He recognized it in her, he was also. He mused they were both scorpios, and if you believed that stuff. He'd ounce red two scorpios, could light fire under water. He was sure he'd had a few scorpios, but he wondered if it would be that hot with her. somehow he new it would be.

Pax sat at the island watching Gunnar cook for her. He wouldn't let her help, just placed a beer in her hand and told her to watch. She liked to watch him, she noted the way the muscles in his arms flexed. She shook her head, changing the directions of her thoughts. She asked "did you eat all your candy?" He glanced over his shoulder at her. "Yup." She laughed leaning forward on her elbows. "That was like a years supply!" She teased. He laid down the spoon, and walked over leaned down bracing himself on his elbows on the other side of the island. "For some maybe." She feigned indignation scoffing at him. " you have no self-control." He made a humph sound giving her slight smile. "I'll have you know I have loads of self-control." He teased thinking about his growing attraction to her. She looked at him arching her eyebrow, and setting back up folding her arms over her chest, " like when?" She asked in a disbelieving tone, eyes sparkling with mischief. " well, I happen to know this young women who's in constant need of a spanking, and I haven't done it yet." He said playfully. "Oh really?" She said, her tone conveying she didn't agree with him. Gunnar stood up mimicking her pose "ya, in fact I think she needs one this instant. She's way to mouthy." Pax arched eyebrow at him again, and said in an condescending tone "I would suggest, oh what's that American saying you don't bite off more then you can chew." Gunnar laughed, " maybe she shouldn't get to big for her britches, I bet it would surprise her how much I could chew." He warned charmingly. His eyes dancing with a naughty light. She couldn't help it she laughed, so hard her cheeks turned red, and her sides hurt. She managed to get out "just remember Gunnar, fore warned is fore armed." He laughed at her " point taken." he replied.

He fed her steak he'd cooked on the grill attached to his stove, Potatoes, and stir fried vegetables. They set at the island to eat, and the meal was delicious. She had suspected he could cook, he obviously didn't go hungry. Most single men learned how to cook for themselves, or ate garbage all the time. All you had to do was look at him to know he didn't eat much junk.

Pax set snuggled up close to Gunnar, she had mock protested it when he manhandled her, and pulled her this close. But secretly she loved it, the heat of his body the sound of his heart beat, his smell. He had her tucked up against him between his body and the arm of he couch. She was all but in his lap, her thighs draped across his. He had one hand wresting on the outside of her left thigh, her head resting on his shoulder. She didn't ponder where this could lead, she just enjoyed the feeling of being close to him. He was completely engrossed in the movie that was on t.v. Absent-mindedly  
Run his fingers back and forth across her bicep. Every ounce in a while his fingers would slightly squeeze her thigh. She knew she needed to go soon, but didn't want to. She liked that he let her into his private world, there was a lot he didn't share with the others. He was private like her, there was only so much he showed other people.

Contrary to what Pax thought, Gunnar was very aware of her. Every move no matter how slight he felt it. The smell of her hair he drank it in, the way she would shiver every so often while he brushed his finger tips over her bicep. He liked that fact she just set there, letting him hold her. He had missed her like crazy, he planned on savoring every moment he had with her. He knew it was only a matter of time before she run off again. Probably in the nick of time before he did something, that would get him maimed or killed. He was a patient man, he told himself. He could withstand temptation, if it meant spending time with her. Having this from her, he hadn't even got what she gave him when he'd been young in love and thrown his career away. If he was a younger man she'd already be his, he'd move heaven and earth. but he wasn't so he had to content himself with this, until that younger man came along and took it from him. The thought felt like a knife in his gut, he didn't know what he'd do when the inevitable happened. He knew one thing it was going to be agony.

Pax had fallen asleep nestled in Gunnar's arms. Gunnar felt the change in her body, felt her completely relax. He pulled her closer, rubbing his cheek on her head. He needed to wake her up, and send her home. But before he did he gently kissed her forehead.

Over the course of the next few weeks Gunnar's attraction to her grew. He greedily spent every moment he could with her. He knew he was playing a dangerous game, but he didn't care. She made him feel like his past mistakes didn't matter.

He had just got back from a job two days ago, and pax was with him as normal. He'd finally found some reclaimed oak at a lumber place in Lafayette, they had enough that he could do his bedroom floor out of it. She was setting on the end of his couch. Out of habit he asked if she wanted to go with him. Knowing he needed to stop steeling her away from Barney so much. She smiled at him saying " we'll of course." She had gone home an hour later, Gunnar told her to be at his house at seven thirty in the morning.


	18. Chapter 18

so I uploaded the wrong version of this chapter last night. A big sorry to those of you that had already checked it out. Here's the correct chapter.

* * *

And I ask you, friend, what's a fella to do

'Cause her hair was black and her eyes were blue

So I took her hand and I gave her a twirl

And I lost my heart to a Galway girl

Galway Girl by Steve Earle

* * *

Pax showed up Gunnar's right on time. They were supposed to be going to Lafayette after some reclaimed lumber. He said he was going to use it in the master bedroom for a floor. But the house was locked, and he didn't answer the door. She smiled evilly she new one of the windows off the kitchen didn't lock. So she walked to the back of the house opened it, and climbed in. She stopped at the fridge and grabbed a water, she wasn't careful about where she stepped. She just went, and if he was asleep after all the creaking stairs. Well she was dumping water on him again.

Sure enough when she got to his bedroom door, he was asleep sprawled out on his back. she took off her black north face jacket quietly, leaving it outside his door. She decided to be stealthy this time, she snuck across the room suppressing her mirth. She was going to get him again.! She was admittedly slightly distracted by that impressive male body laying prone on the bed. He looked younger asleep, his features had been beautiful in his younger days. Mouth watering actually. Gone was the freshness of youth, replaced with a scarred man. Who possessed a different kind of allure, one that was more potent.

She was taking the cap off the water bottle when,she reached the side of his bed. She held her arm out, turning her hand just enough to let a little water drop out. Before she knew it he grabbed her, spinning her. The water bottle flew out of her hand, and she ended up flat on her back in the middle of his bed. She looked up at him he had landed firmly on top of her, his torso wedged between her thighs.

Gunnar looked down at her where she lay pinned to the mattress under him. Served the little brat right. She'd dumped water on his head, again. This time he'd been faster, and she didn't make it to the nearest door. He'd caught her before she'd even moved away. She was trying her hardest to squirm out from under him. All her squirming did was lodge him firmly between her legs. He had her wrist pinned one on either side of her head. He decided she, needed to stop her wiggling and squirming. All she was doing was turning him on. All the suppressed lust from the last few weeks rushing back. Gunnar stared down at her, her hair spread out across his blankets. The low v of her tight shirt giving him, a pleasant view of her breasts. He sucked in an involuntary breath, when he saw the lacy edge of her black bra exposed. She stilled which slowly brought Gunnar's attention back to her face. She was staring at his naked chest, she bit her lower she really shouldn't look at him that way. Her eyes came slowly back to his, they were a darker blue, her pupils dilated. He watched her gaze become heavy lidded, and drift to his lips. Her little tongue darted across her full slightly parted lips. He slowly lowered his head, that predatory gleam in his eyes. giving her plenty of time to protest. When she didn't his lips stopped a breath away from hers. He was fighting a battle he knew he was going to loose. Her eyes slowly drifted shut, she was waiting for him, and his cell rang. He slowly pushed himself off her, making sure she felt the rather impressive evidence of how badly he wanted her. she watched him a small breathy gasp escaping her lips. He knew when he set up the spell had been broken, she was going to panic.

Gunnar rolled completely off of her and set up, the evidence of his arousal on display, he didn't bother to cover what she'd already felt. He grabbed his phone, and she darted from the room. It was Barney, saving her sexy little ass, go figure. When he answered the phone and Barney asked him what he was doing. He had thought oh just about fucking you daughter. But he said " not much, what's up?" Gunnar heard the door slam. " I was wondering when you wanted to help me put that engine in." Gunnar stood up, pushed the curtain back and looked out the window. she was just setting there in her truck, head resting on the steering wheel. Gunnar said "how about day after tomorrow? Got to head into Lafayette today, and some stuff tomorrow."  
Barney said "thats what Pax was saying, that works I got some body work I can do on her."

Pax new if she didn't leave now, she wouldn't be leaving. If she set here much longer, he'd come after her. Her whole body tingled, she was shaking, she wanted him so much. She wanted to feel his naked skin, run her fingers across it. Feel the slide of his body against hers. He was all potent man, his body hard and powerful. He had easily subdued her this morning, pinning her to the bed. She had realized just how much he wanted her, and it was like a switch she instantly felt the responding affect. She should leave but, she new she wasn't going to. She got out of her truck.

Gunnar got pants on and headed for the stairs if she was still in the driveway when he got outside, she was his her fate was sealed. He stepped out of his room shirt in hand, he came to a dead stop. She was standing at the top of his stairs. The look in her eyes sent his blooding pounding in his ears. He was instantly fully aroused again, she walked up to him, a seductive smile on her lips. She stopped right in front of him not even a foot between them. She bit her lip looking at his chest. She took a shaky breath and reached out running her hand across his chest, as she went to step around him, she paused stepping closer to him she stepped on her tippy toes and placed a lingering kiss on his cheek. she then stepped around him headed for his bed. She walked to his bed and kicked her boots off, Gunnar watched her enthralled he still stood in the doorway. She turned to him catching his gaze, she undid her belt and unzipped her jeans. Gunnar's eyes drifted down to her hands. He was already wound tight, He saw a hint of low cut black panties, and it snapped him into action. He dropped his shirt and started for her.

She wanted this so bad for so long her whole body on fire, if he didn't hurry up she'd beg. Gunnar was going to have her, she was giving him what he'd been craving. He had should be gentle with her, but there was no way. He grabbed her her yanking her up against him. His kiss was brutal, he forced his tongue into her mouth. She moaned a low raspy sound,he pulled her closer. When she wrapped her tongue around his he growled. He tried to pull back he wanted her out of those pants now. But she clung to him following his lips, damn she was going to drive him nuts. When she did allow him to escape she bit his lip, when she released it Gunnar growled "get your  
fucking pants off, Pax." She complied with his help but the feel of his ruff hands on her ass just about had her delirious. He had decided to remove her pants and underwear at ounce. Shoving his hands in the back of her pants, his hands cupping her firm little ass. He lifted her to him for a moment, claiming her mouth again briefly. she took over the kiss, her hands on either side of his head, her fingers threading threw his hair. She kissed him gently, then pulled on his bottom lip with her teeth. He let her little body slide down his, making sure she felt how hard he was.

She pulled her shirt off while he finished her pants and he toppled her over onto his bed. In seconds he was naked and claiming her he laid down on top of her. Kissed her and entered her at the same time. She gave a load cry that he swallowed. He showed no mercy, he had her begging him by the time he was done. Gunnar held her curled up against him. Neither had said a word, he leaned down and gently nuzzled her ear. Then he nipped that, beautiful neck. within a minute he was inside her again. She was his, finally...

Gunnar laid propped up on his elbow watching her sleep, in the early morning light. Mine was the first thought that came to mind when he looked at her. There was no escape for her now, she belonged to him. Come what may, Barney was going to be mad enough to kill. But it didn't matter, he thought as he looked down at her nothing mattered.

No women had ever responded to him the way she did. Every touch, kiss, caress elicited some response a gasp a moan a hitch of her breath, or a tremble. Her face and body open to him, unashamedly allowing him to see what she felt. Most women he had known it was just about hard quick release. With pax it was different, she just wanted him not the fear and danger. He laid down wrapping his arm around her taut stomach, pulling her back flush against his front. He woke her up slowly, claiming her while she was still partially asleep.

Barney had been unimpressed when Pax didn't come back to his place, and he figured out where she was. He somehow knew, what happened this time. It hadn't in the past been uncommon for her to spend days, and even the occasional night at Gunnar's . When Pax finally came home he knew for certain the moment she walked in. He went back to fixing himself something to eat."How was Lafayette?" Pax cringed and her cheeks pinked. Barney watched her expectantly. She looked away, "so is it safe to say you, and Gunnar are together now?" Her eyes came back to her father, his look was unreadable. " I'm not sorry da, and it wasn't planned." He took in her admission. "It might not have been planned, but you two have been doing this dance for months. Just do me a favor Pax, be careful Gunnar isn't a man to trifle with." Barney watched her for a moment "lets talk," he grabbed his breakfast and set down at the table she took the chair across from his. "I'm not happy Pax, but I should have been straight with you awhile ago." He began. "Gunnar's a bit on the crazy side, and he has the potential to be dangerous. This thing with the two of you could be bad. I have known you two were attracted to each other, and hoped nothing came from it." He paused taking a drink of water. "He has a history of substance abuse," he continued looking at her. "For some reason, he doesn't seem quite so dark when your around. You have a gentling affect, but if this thing with you two doesn't work out... Well pax that's what bothers me." He pushed his plate aside and leaned back in his chair. "I don't believe he'd ever hurt you, but he might just go off the deep end." She watched her father, uncertain. "He never has relationships, the only one I have ever known about didn't end well. Before she dumped him, he had started using drugs recreationally, and lets just say it got worse. He started working for me about a year later, he was clean. There have been several relapses through the years, and I have dealt with it because." He paused for a moment staring off into space lost in thought after a moment he continued. " because I like him, and he has no family. When he left MIT his father, one of the only relatives he had to my knowledge, disowned him." Pax looked down at the table, he had told her some but not all of this. "He died a few years back, Gunnar went to Sweden when he heard. I don't know what happened there, he didn't talk and I didn't ask. Please, be careful Pax."

Barney pulled into Tools later, Pax had showered changed, and told him she was going to Lafayette with had hung around home for a bit then decided to head to Tools. When he walked in Tool was sitting behind his desk working on a tattoo sketch took one look at him, and said "something, on your mind old friend?" Barney walked over and set down on a stool "they did it... Pax and Gunnar are together." Tool took off his glasses, "when'd that happen?"  
" yesterday I am thinking." Barney replied "I warned her about what could happen if she wasn't careful" He grunted, "I really don't want this." Tool watched him thoughtfully " you know, this was going to happen, it didn't matter. Look at the two of them, their like magnets." Barney nodded "but what happens when she leaves again?" He said worry etching his face. Tool was quiet a moment contemplating what Barney said. " What makes you think she will?" He asked. "She's as messed up as him, except she runs away and he uses." Tool was quiet again arms folded over his chest pensive look on his face. "Well as they say, there's no use courting trouble. I say don't worry until you have too." Tool said. Barney snorted thinking to himself ya if only it was that easy.

The next day Gunnar showed up at Barney's as planned, willing to take whatever Barney dished out. He had sent Pax home last night even though, he had have preferred to keep her willing little body in his bed. But he'd figured that he better, until he talked to Barney. He pulled in and got out. Barney was in the garage, he glanced up at Gunnar. He stood up grabbed a rag and wiped his hands, he met Gunnar in the garage door opening. Barney met his gaze, and said "I'm not thrilled about you and Pax. But I also realize I have no say, just don't hurt her in anyway and we are good." Gunnar nodded he had been expecting potential violence. He said "I won't, you don't have to worry." Barney eyed him for a moment. "Come on "he said "let's get to work." After Pax got out of the shower, she peaked out the window. A huge smile spread across her face, Gunnar's truck was there, she could see him in the garage working with her da. She dressed quickly and headed down stairs grabbing her coat she headed outside.

Pax stopped a few feet from the shop, watching Gunnar through the open door. She loved watching him, he was just so... So manly, she decided on even though it wasn't right. Actually muchy was the only fraze that made sense even though it wasn't a word. He looked up and caught her staring, she blushed slightly, and gave him a slow smile. Gunnar's gave her that smile she loved in answer. Barney cleared his throat watching the exchange, Pax looked at him, that soft smile still playing on her lips, she walked the rest of the way to the shop. Not surprisingly she spent the most of the day in the shop. She was knowledgable and proved to be a help. She was after all the Mopar expert, if you asked her anyway. Barney ended up letting her do the break in on the motor. Barney had to admit, they seemed to be happy.

Gunnar laid in bed on his back Paxs little body, spread across his chest. He ran his fingers up and down her back, she wiggled closer. She picked her head up and looked at him, studying his face in the dim light. "What?" He asked looking at her. She climbed on top of him setting up, Gunnar's fingers dug into slender little hips. She bent down and kissed him lingeringly,"just that your magnificent, Gunnar." He laughed at how cheesy her comment sounded. "And mine all mine." Gunnar grabbed her flipping her onto her back, and rolling on top of her. Gunnar's possessively stroked her side. "that's fine, but don't forget your mine" he said it was so much force it sent a chill down her spine. He proceeded to show her she was only his. Before he was done with her, she admitted that she was.

Early the next morning Gunnar laid facing her, he had only slept briefly in the night. Normally if that happened he'd go find something to do, but he was content to watch her sleep. He smiled she had whispered his name twice in her sleep. A powerful feeling of protectiveness that had swept through him, it was nearly overwhelming. He couldn't believe she was his, it might sound wrong to others, obsessive and possessive to hear him refer to her as his. But she was he'd do whatever he had to, too keep her with him. He knew one thing for sure, he'd kill any man that tried to take her from him. They'd find the guys body in a ditch. Gunnar rolled her onto her back, being very gentle with her, he spread her thighs and lowered himself over her. Kissing her lingeringly, and finding her slick and ready for him even in sleep. She gasped when he slid into her, she wasn't even fully awake ,already gasping and razing her slender hips to meet him. This time they found release together. It was soul shattering for both of them, she clung to him in the aftermath, her body trembling uncontrollably. Gunnar held her close, before long they were both asleep.


	19. Chapter 19

Come a little closer baby  
I feel like strippin' it down  
Back to the basics of you and me  
And what makes the world go round  
Every inch of you against my skin  
I wanna be stronger than we've ever been  
So come a little closer baby  
I feel like strippin' it down

come a little closer by dirks Bentley

* * *

She knew things hadn't gone as planned Tool had told her, but she hadn't been prepared.  
Lee had been shot a flesh wound, his lip swollen. He'd been the first one she had seen that night at the hanger. Toll was next he hadn't looked so bad, minor bruises. But Gunnar they'd cornered him alone, he'd defiantly got the worst of it. When he walked off the plane he was limping, his bottom lip split, he had a bandage on his forearm, soaked in blood. His right eye black and blue, the skin over it split open. Three steri strips this time. He stopped walking when he saw her, the look in his eyes intense. She walked to him, and sliding her arms around his waist, he inhaled sharply in pain. He wrapped his arms around her carefully, resting his cheek on the top of her head. They didn't do this in front of the guys, they hugged but this was different. It was emotional, Gunnar reached up caught her chin with his finger lifting it. And gently brushed her mouth with his lips, savoring her taste. No one had been that jovial however there was some, cat calling. Gunnar lifted his head, smiled and said. "Your all just jealous." Barney spoke up, " I'm not jealous but I'd like to hug my daughter, if you don't mind." Gunnar reluctantly let her go, pax reached down and grabbed his bag, ignoring him when he tried to take it from her hand. She walked to her da, he was a little worse for wear also. But he didn't flinch when she hugged him, Barney hugged her tightly. He whispered in her ear "I love you." She smiled "and I love you da." Squeezing him tighter. "He's pretty banged up" Barney whispered next. "You better get him home." Pax nodded "I call you tomorrow."

Pax looked over at Gunnar, his head lolling back on the head rest, it had obviously been painful getting into the truck. He felt her worried gaze, turning his head and catching hers. He reached over and took her hand were it rested on her thigh, she turned it palm up threading his fingers threw hers. "It's alright" he said his voice a low rumble. She looked back at the road unconvinced, Gunnar watched her. He ran his thumb in small circles around her palm. Trying to reassure her, and himself. "What happened?" She asked looking over at him worry evident in her voice. He took a deep breath "not now, I'll tell you later." The tone of his voice, made her decide to not push it. When they got to his place Pax got out and walked around to the passengers side he was already climbing out. He looked down at her, "I need a shower." He said his fingers catching in the waistband on the back of her jeans. Then sliding then up under her shirt, so his palm was against the small of her back. Her soft skin warm against his fingers, the contact was somehow reassuring. She looked up at him, "come on then."

Pax had helped him get his boots off, then left him in the bedroom while she went to turn on the shower. He had taken off his shirt by the time she got back. She stood gaping at his back, there were several angry red welts running across his back. He turned when he heard her gasp, his chest covered in bruises on the right side. She her eyes grew misty, she met his gaze. He looked bewildered, he was at her side in a second. Her eyes had drifted back to his torso. She wanted to hug him, but found herself afraid she'd hurt him more. Wishing she could take his most likely considerable pain from him. She stepped closer to him, got on her tippy toes and kissed the hollow at the base of his throat, then gently brushed her lips against his neck. She stepped back took his hand in her much smaller one and led him to the bathroom. Gunnar couldn't take his eyes off her, she had been on the verge of tears at the sight of his body. He had felt a restrictive pressure in his chest, he knew what it was and had known for a while. When they got to the bathroom her fingers went to work on his belt, she was standing so close. But she wouldn't look at him. When her fingers slid along his waist band to unbutton his pants. He felt a stirring of desire, he whispered "Pax baby look at me." When she didn't, he reached down and made her look at him. Her eye lashes were wet, it was more then Gunnar could take. He captured her mouth, tasting salt on her lips. His kiss was searing and gentle, he broke the kiss looking down at her "I'm alright pax." She nodded but gave him an uncertain look. He unzipped his pants and slid them off, next went his briefs. He was slightly surprised when the curtain slid open and she stepped in the shower with him. Normally she refused to shower with him, she said it was private time. So he decided to savor it. He looked down at her firm little body, watched the water sliding across her beautiful skin, and felt an overwhelming desire off a different kind. One to love her, just let himself love her. She turned him, gently washing his back. The water stung on the raw flesh, but he didn't protest. Her little hands were careful, and gentle. When he felt her lips gently touch one of the welts, his body tensed but not from pain. She kissed every welt before she turned him.

Pax was over taken with emotion at the sight of his body. She wanted to take his pain away, she knew she couldn't. So she kissed them instead, thinking in her mind about being a child with a booboo. She gave his magnificent chest the same attention washing it gently, and kissing it gently. Gunnar watched her while he washed his hair, he didn't know how he had ever gotten to be a lucky man, but he was. She washed every inch of him, and kissed every bruise or scrape on his body. She hadn't got to his face yet, but he had nearly reached the end of his rope. He reached down and pushed her to the end of the shower. Bending his head down and kissing her gently toying with her lips, nipping them playfully. He slid his hand down her thigh lifting it and placing her foot on the edge of the bath tub. He slid his hand between her legs, she instantly gasped against his mouth, her slender hips bucking. Gunnar used his other hand to brace himself. She made a strangled noise, pulling her lips from his. Gunnar looked down at her, again he thought he'd never met a more responsive women. His name escaped her lips, the sound breathy and pleading. He loved her like this, completely open to him. He eased the rhythm of his fingers, suddenly needing inside her. He pulled back entirely, and shut off the water. He didn't take time to dry her little body or his own he just led her to his bed.

When he touched her it was different, every caress drawn out and feather light, making her shiver. He made her heart ache, he was so gentle. When he entered her his rhythm slow and agonizing. He brought her to the edge over, and over again. She didn't dare touch him so she dug her fingers into his sheets. Her body covered in sweat, he was determined to torture her.

Gunnar looked down at her, her supple body arching toward him. Her soft skin glistening with a sheen of their sweet. He was trying to brand her to show her without words what he really felt for her. Her head turned off to the side, her beautiful face contoured with concentration. She was trying to find that release he kept withholding. He was nearly to the end of his restraint, so he bent down and caught her lips, giving her a heart breaking but gentle kiss. He whispered "look at me Pax." Her eyes fluttered to his, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. "I want to see you're eyes." He thrusted harder, deliberate hitting her spot. She cried out, it was over in the matter of a minute. He had been right behind her in release, she held his gaze. What he saw there made his chest tighten, god he hoped she stayed with him. Gunnar held her gently, her tender kisses might not have eased his physical pain. But they had eased another pain, the ones buried inside. Gunnar rolled off of her she rolled toward him, raising herself on her elbow and studying him. She leaned over him and gently kissed his eye, and lip. Then she climbed out of bed, and walked to the bathroom. Gunnar didn't miss the opportunity to look at her naked body. When she returned from the bathroom she had on dark green boys shorts, a tight black tank top. She was holding a box of gauze, sizzors, tape, and a tube of ointment. She set down on the edge of the bed, she didn't look at his face. She took his arm and bandaged is forearm, he watched her work thinking that it probably didn't need to be bandaged. It wasn't bleeding any more really it was just a scratch, that had bled like a stab wound. But he let her, he liked this side of her. He was slightly in awe, her long hair hung messy all around her shoulders. Her lips slightly swollen from his kisses. The skin on her neck, and cheeks red from his stubble.

He reached out with his other hand tucking her hair behind ear, she stilled her gaze coming to rest on his face slowly. He cupped her cheek in his palm, her eyes held a look of vulnerability in her eyes. The emotion raging inside him almost undoing him, she seemed so young and unbelievably vulnerable. He'd do anything give anything in that moment if it meant he could erase that look from her eyes, and keep her by his side the rest of his life.

Her eyes travelled to his mouth, that mouth she loved so much. A slight smile snuck onto her face. Her eyes came back to his, a soft look filling them. "I need to do your back." She said her voice soft full of emotion. She crawled around him, ointment in hand as he set up fully. His back was going to be the problem he realized as pain shot threw him. The tortured skin pulling tight around the lash marks. She settled behind him, opened the tube on neo-sporran and went to work. She loved his back it looked as though it had been sculpted by a master. Layers on thick muscle, gave him that deep cleft between his shoulders. It made her shiver, his torso banded in heavy muscle tapering off to his trim waist. She never told him how much she liked his back. She watched his muscles ripple under her gentle touch. When she finished her ministrations, she loosely wrapped her arms around him laying her head on his left shoulder blade. "I wish you would tell me what happened." Her tone hushed. He set there a moment feeling her breath on his skin, an involuntary shudder passing through him from the feel of it. He took a deep breath "we were set up." She tensed then let go of him. She moved around him laying down on her side so she could see his face. "It happens sometimes," he continued looking at her. "I got cornered," he watched the emotions playing on her face. "There were seven of them, I took care of a couple. But the odds weren't good." He watched her not wanting to share the details. He didn't want her to know what he had done. He didn't want her to know what he was capable of. When he didn't elaborate Pax asked, "why does it look like someone whipped you?" Her voice a whisper. She moved into a sitting position, reaching out and takin his hand. "They did." He answered. Pax let out a heavy breath, her eyes growing misty again. "I don't want to tell you the gory, details, I'm here with you that's all that matters." Pax new she had to let it go, he wouldn't tell her anymore at least not at present. But it terrified her, they'd been set up. All of them, and from what she'd seen Gunnar had got the worst of it. Somehow they had all became, super human in her mind. Larger then life and unbreakable, but they were all vulnerable. She didn't know what she'd do if the worst happened to her father or him. She forced those unpleasant thoughts away, and asked him " are you hungry?" His stomach rumbled loudly in answer. She couldn't help but laugh slightly, her laughter entering her eyes.

As she headed down stairs to get food. Another terrifying thought hit her. If her father and Gunnar weren't untouchable, neither was her uncle the three most important men in her life. And all of them could be taken from her in a moment. She had learned that anything could happen along time ago. But now she was faced with the fact that even the people in her life that seemed larger than life and indestructible, could be taken from her. She grabbed her phone off the island while she was fixing him food and called her uncle. "Pax, is everything ok?" he asked in a worried tone. It was late nearly two. "Aye" was her reply. "I just wanted to tell you I love you."  
"I love you two." He said after a brief pause she said " I miss you, and I want to see you." Lance answered a moment later "we can work that out. Is everything alright with your father, and Gunnar."  
"Their fine, I just need to see you." Lance could hear the anxiety in her voice. "Talk to me, Pax what's up sweetheart." She sighed "just come to New Orleans, I never get to see you these days."  
"Alright, I'll see what I can do."  
"But"she said " you have to promise to be nice to Gunnar."  
"I will be as long as he treats you good." Pax heard a noise and turned to find Gunnar standing in the doorway. A soft smile on his face, she gave her own in answer and said"he does, like a angel."  
Lance laughed "that's funny, he must be nuts because you are not an angel." She laughed "hey!" She said "I'll have you know I am perfect."  
Lance laughed again.

Gunnar had been curious about who she was talking to but after a moment, he realized it had to be church. Not his biggest fan by far, he didn't really blame him. He wouldn't want him anywhere near her either. But he had her and was going to try his hardest to keep her. She studied him as she talked to her uncle, he had put on jogging pants before he'd come down. They rode low on his hips, and it didn't look like he had on anything in under them. She turned away from him it probably wouldn't be a good idea, to be drooling over Gunnar at this moment. Gunnar watched her closely, he always watched closely. He loved the way she danced about, he found he liked it even more when she was fixing him food in her underwear. He had to admit she was perfect, at least for him. Well besides that tattoo he hated that thing. She got of the phone a couple minutes later. She went on cooking like he wasn't in the room. He walked over and carefully set down on a stool. Watching her back, more accurately her ass. It was the perfect size, it fit into his hands perfectly. He had always thought he preferred more shapely women, but he had found she got him hotter than any of those. She was the perfect height, she had those incredible legs, and gently rounded hips. Her waist line was trim, her stomach flat and well muscled. Her breast were firm and perfect also. She was athletically built which he found, he liked. "Pax" he said his voice ruff. "Humm." Was her response, "look at me." She shook her head and said "no." He made an amused noise."why not?" He asked " because Gunnar, right now I am pretty certain you have been staring at my ass. And if I look at you, I'm going to get all flustered, your foods going to burn, and we will end up having sex on the island." He chuckled "it doesn't sound like a bad alternative to me." His amusement evident. "You, need to eat and sleep." She said turning and setting a plate on the island in front of him, she reached in the drawer, pulled out fork, and handed it too him. Then she let her eyes meet his, "not have sex with me in the kitchen." She turned and got him a glass of water. He chuckled again, "maybe I think sex with you is the best medicine. She rolled her eyes, "in that case, you've already had your dosage for today." She smiled sarcastically. He shook his head entertained, and took a drink of water. "As always stimulating conversation."he said chuckling to himself. She gave him an amused scowl, but wouldn't let him touch her sexually even after they went to bed. Gunnar pulled her gently back against him, and slept.

When he woke the next morning he was alone. He heard voices downstairs, he looked over at the clock. Nine thirty, he was usually up by five. He carefully turned his body to sit up, he was curious to see who was in his house. He stretched his back was stiff and sore, he found himself thinking how sweet and gentle she had been last night. He felt his chest tighten at the thought of her, his Pax. He had been fighting falling in love with her ever since he'd ended up in Tennessee with her. But the inevitable had happened, he was and had been. Instinct told him not to tell her, it wasn't time. He saw the same light in her eyes, and new she felt the same. But it was not the time to tell her, he found himself afraid of her reaction. He walked to the dresser and pulled out a tee shirt. Carefully pulling it on he headed downstairs, he was surprised to see Barney setting in his kitchen. Pax was setting on a stool legs drawn up in front of her arms wrapped around them. She had a bright smile on her face. That only got bigger when she saw him, she asked "how do you feel?" He gave her that half smile she loved, the one that used to infuriate her. "Dead" he said reaching up to scratch his head. He looked over at Barney, Barney said " I thought I'd come see how you were. But it looks like my girl took care of you." Gunnar's smile widened and he looked back at her. "She's great." Barney smiled looking at her also, "ya she's alright." Barney noted the way pax and Gunnar held each others gazes. Something unspoken passing between them. Pax excused herself, but paused by Gunnar rising up on tip toes he lowered his head. She brushed a soft kiss on his cheek, and sauntered off. Ounce she was upstairs Gunnar looked at Barney, "did she ask you about the mission?" Barney nodded "ya, I didn't tell her anything." Gunnar nodded he knew Ross wouldn't, "I guess I told her the same thing you did."  
"She's pretty upset about what happened to you."  
"Ya but I don't want her to know." Gunnar got a flash in his mind of that slimy s.o.b staring at her picture, and graphically telling Gunnar all the things he was going to do to her after he killed him. Slowly killing him, would have been pleasurable. Instead Gunnar had, had to do it quickly after Barney and Hale found him. But he'd still made sure the scum would die slowly, but surely. The memory, made his fists clench with rage. Barney interrupted his thoughts. " and she doesn't need two." It was on the tip of Barney's tongue to state the obvious, to tell Gunnar he knew that he loved his daughter. But he doubted the words had been said out loud, if he was Gunnar he'd wait on that one for as long as it took. He didn't think Pax would be excepting of it. So instead he said nothing.

When Pax came back downstairs, they were in the garage. It was cold in there but Gunnar just stood there in a the same cloths he'd come downstairs in. She loved to look at him also, no matter how unnerving she found his watchful eyes, she did the same to him. He had somehow become a healing balm, starting maybe even as far back as the moment she decided to trust him in Brazil, and becoming a tangible thing when he came after her.


	20. Chapter 20

Gunnar looked down at Pax. She set cuddled up against his chest, her head back resting on his shoulder. She looked up at him, studying his features. He lowered his face, and kissed her gently. Nipping her bottom lip. She sighed softly, as a smile spread across his lips. He lifted his headed, watching as her eyes slowly opened. Her lips slightly parted, a sweet smile spread across her full lips. The television caught his attention again. She studied the fading bruise on his eye, and again it reminded her of how quickly she could lose him or her da and uncle. Tonight marked one week since that night. As for Gunnar their relationship had changed yet again, he was different now. When they were in bed together his touch was different, it made her feel... She didn't know what exactly, but it was almost intoxicating. His watchful eyes, even more intense.

Gunnar laid her down on the bed, he'd told her to go to bed hours ago. She'd just snuggled closer and gone to, sleep. He looked down at her where he'd placed her on the bed, she rolled over on to her side pulling her legs up curling into a ball. Gunnar stripped down, and got into bed. Curling himself around her, pulling her tight against him. His hand sliding under her shirt, he loved the feel of her soft warm skin. He wanted her, his body growing tense. He always wanted her, she had turned him insatiable, his appetite never satisfied. She was just as bad, he smiled thinking about it. It was gratifying, and a big turn on knowing how easily he could make his stunning little Pax want him. Playing hard to get didn't work so well for either of them, this fire between them burned to hot. He'd once thought if he'd known her when he was younger, he'd have moved heaven and earth to have her. Back then he'd have never appreciated her until it was to late. These feelings he had for her, they were powerful. She was his world, it almost felt like the drugs and bad things he'd done never happened. He was a lucky man, she should be with a man closer to her age. But she was his and he wasn't letting go. If any man was ever stupid enough to try, and take her, he knew with certainty he'd kill them, and he'd make sure it was painful.

Pax came awake slowly, enveloped in his arms. She snuggled closer drowsy, his body heat drugging. "I love you." He mumbled. Pax's body came awake, his arm tightened around her, then relaxed in sleep. Pax's heart started pounding. Panic over taking her, she gently eased away from him. Setting up in the bed, she stared at him. No! Her mind screamed. No! She suddenly felt sick as realization hit her, oh god her.. She jumped up and ran to the bathroom. She barely made it to the toilet, and she as sick. Tears streaming down her face, no! I couldn't be... No her mind screamed again.. She was in love with him... No... Derrick, oh god... She couldn't... What about Derrick... She set pulling her legs up against her chest. Her mind went back to that day all those years ago. They had been out riding dirt bikes. They were just loading up to leave. The sun was setting, and the clouds were shades of orange, and pink. He said his tone as light as if he'd been commenting on the weather. "So Pax, I think we should get married." Surprise and shock her first reaction. " I know I will love you the rest of my life." She just simply said yes. He had kept up his end of the bargain. But she hadn't she'd promised the same thing and she was still alive. Oh god! What was she doing... Panic seizing her body. She shouldn't, be here with him... Lance he would be here in the morning he would know what too do, he'd help her.

When Gunnar woke up she wasn't there beside him. That's unusual he thought she was almost always with him. She never went home anymore. She stayed here with him, every night. It was barely light out, he listened for some sound in the house. There was nothing, he got up grabbing his cloths from yesterday he pulled on the pants. Where the hell was she, the pit of his stomach filling with unease.

Pax tensed she heard movement upstairs, she steeled herself for what was coming. But she knew what she had to, do she had no choice. She took a deep breath and waited. He would come to her, she knew. She thought of that kiss last night, how gentle he was. A tear slipped from her eye, no she told herself no. So she forced all of her emotions away.

She was staring out the window it was just coming light out, when Gunnar walked into the kitchen. "Pax?" He asked his voice anxious and wary. She turned to face him, the look in her eyes cold and remote. His body tensed, he knew what was coming, that he wasn't going to like.

She held his gaze a moment longer, then looking away. Uncertain she could get the words out, she took a deep breath. "Gunnar," she began her voice sounding distant in her own ears. Her eyes traveling back to him, "I am leaving." A dark look filled his beautiful blue eyes, he stepped closer. His fists clenching at his sides. She held his gaze even though she wanted to run, she had to hold her course, and be firm. "No," he said firmly his voice dark and dangerous, "your mine, Pax."

Gunnar couldn't believe his ears, he felt like someone had stabbed him in the gut. She was leaving, NO she couldn't do this to him too them. Her voice sounded vacant and hollow. His fist clenched against the feelings tearing at his inside. she was his only his, she belonged with him to him.

Her heart whispered yes, but the louder voice in her mind screamed No! She gave a hollow laugh, "I am leaving." She made a move to walk past him. Her heart pounding. She had to leave now, if she didn't do it now she wouldn't. Gunnar reached out and grabbed her arm squeezing it. Her gaze shot to where his hand gripped her arm, his large hand fully circling her bicep. she stared at his long fingers a moment, she loved those fingers and his hands. The emotion rolling inside of her ripping her apart. She loved him. What she did next she did out of desperation, she had no choice as she could see it. So she lied, if she didn't he'd never let her go. "It was fun Gunnar don't get me wrong but did you honestly think," she raised her eyes to hold his gaze " I would ever stay with someone like you?" Her voice deliberately cruel. Gunnar's grip on her arm tightened, too a painful amount. "whatever this is I will help you through it." His voice almost sounding desperate. Pax had to get out of here, if she didn't shed end up giving in to him. She knew what she had to do, forgive me she silently pleaded. She schooled her features and raised her gaze. "Gunnar" she began her voice devoid of emotion. " I didn't want it to come to this but I see you're determined to leave me no choice. All you have ever been to me is a toy, your amazing in bed. But I have found I have tired of that as well." She allowed her eyes to drift down him body again. "You don't need to bother looking for me, I don't want you." He used her arm to pull her closer. "look at me." He ordered, her gaze came to his again. He stated the timber of his voice low and full of emotion, "I don't believe you." His gaze travelled to her full lips, she knew instantly what he planned to do. Despite her best intentions, her own gaze dropped to his lips.

She loved his mouth, it didn't matter what he was doing with his mouth, she loved to watch his lips. She would just stare at him while he ate, and frequently she would stare at his mouth while he talked. Then the other times his mouth had her... Oh she had to stop thinking this way. She turned her head just as his began to lower his." enough, Gunnar!" She said forcefully, this needed to end now. Without looking at him she continued, "I don't want you, let me go." Her eyes travelled back to his, " your making a fool of yourself." She finished her voice condescending. He squeezed her arm harder eliciting a gasp of pain from her. His eyes full of anger, and self loathing. He released her shoving her away at the same time. She stood there afraid to move, he turned away from her. Reaching out he swept the bowl that set on the island off of it with his arm. It crashed into the fridge breaking into pieces. " I am a fool." He stated his voice low and deathly calm, "to think I was in love with you when I woke up." He gave a self mocking laugh. " get the fuck out of my house." The sound of his voice terrifying in its intensity. Pax walked past him nearly running to the door, she opened it but paused. Saying " don't look for me." He was silent a moment, then laughed the sound void of emotion. " you don't have to worry about that, love." He said his voice bitter, " I wouldn't come near you again if my life depended on it." Pax found the strength to bend down and pick up her bag, she had left waiting by the door early this morning. She stepped out the door shutting it and ran to her truck. As she backed out of his driveway, tears started to fall, a panic unlike anything she'd ever known enveloped her. Nearly suffocating her, she told herself she had done the right thing. Another part of her asked, are you so sure of that. She screamed at herself, stop. Stop it now, you did what was right.

The moment the door closed Gunnar picked a stool that was setting beside him and threw it. Glass flew everywhere as it crashed threw the window. God, how could he have been so stupid. Women never stuck around, how could he have expected her to be any different. She had been right, he was a fool. Well this time he had learned, as the old saying went. Fool me ounce it's your fault, fool me twice it's my fault. And he had been duped twice by women, never again.

Barney had just awoke when he heard her truck, curious about why she was home this early he climbed out of bed. The sun hadn't been up long, and his daughter was not a morning person. Early for her was eight o'clock. He made his way downstairs oblivious to what had transpired this morning. He stepped into the kitchen just as she stepped threw the door. Taking one look at her tear streaked swollen face and he was going to kill that sun of a bitch. She met her fathers eyes briefly, then looked away.

Barney moved cautiously toward her, she looked like she might crumble into a million pieces from one touch. He had never felt this overwhelming need to protect her. Still not knowing what had happened, he asked "what did he do?" His voice stony and cold. Pax shook her head finding it harder, then she had expected. Her father had warned her about toying with Gunnar, it hadn't started out that way, but it had ended that way. A new rush of tears hit her as she began, "no, da it was me I am leaving." Barney was speechless, not because he felt surprised, but because he wished he was. Sobs racked her body, Barney felt torn he didn't know how to react. So he walked to her pulling her into his arms, "what happened?" He asked placing a kiss on her head, he rubbed her back soothingly. He felt awkward, and uncertain. "I can't stay here with him da," her voice breaking on a sob. "I just canna, it's wrong." She pulled away from him, " I have to go." Barney watched her back, his own emotions fighting an internal battle. "I can't... It's not right... I just can't..." He watched her another moment. "You can't what?" He asked. She put her hand over her eyes, while the pain over took her again. "Love him" she whispered. And suddenly Barney understood, she was running from Gunnar. Because she fell in love with him. She turned around, coming too him wrapping her arms around him. She buried her head against his chest, " oh god da, the things I said to him." She shuddered " they were horrible... But he didn't give me a choice... He wouldn't have let me go.." Barney whispered "Pax." She drew back and looked up at him. "You don't have to do this." He said, over the last few weeks he had come to not mind Gunnar, and her together. He knew Gunnar would give his life to protect her, and his feelings for her were obvious.

She tore herself from his arms, "yes I do, you don't understand." Her hands went to her head, she started shaking. "I have too, you don't understand." She started shaking harder, "no one ever understands, I have too."

Barney watched them after Lance arrived as he tried to talk her out of this decision. Lance sat with Pax's head on his shoulder, he looked at Barney holding his gaze. "Pax, love" he began "you don't have too do this, you could stay here." She pulled away, "NO! It isn't right, he promised... I can't you know that." Barney found himself curious about who he was. Lance said " I know what Derrick promised you, but he's dead. Gunnar is here." She shook her head, "no," she said again this time less forceful, but none the less definitive. So Lance took her with him, they caught a transport bound for Italy an hour later.

Barney stood hugging Pax, he made eye contact with Church over her head. She really was messed up, he'd had no idea how bad it was. He found himself silently asking Church to take care of her. He had partially thought her running away had been from over indulgence, but that wasn't it. She really was self-destructive like Gunnar had said. Gunnar had been calming for her, and now she was running from him. All because of some sense of loyalty to her dead family. And she had made him promise to tell Gunnar nothing.

Lance looked over at her where she slept curled up in one of the seats. He wished he knew how to fix her, he'd wished that wish before. She had always been not quite right, her flame burned to brightly. It was easy for people to get caught on the flame. Derrick had given her balance, he'd nurtured her reckless wild side, and still kept a steadying hand on her. She had loved him so much, that it had consumed her. Jensen had that capability also, despite his not quite being right also. He was strong-willed enough that if Pax's misguided sense of loyalty hadn't gotten in the way, he could have balanced her again. Lance shuddered to think what would happen now.

Barney left the airport and headed for Gunnar's . He didn't know what to expect, but still he had to go. He felt torn between his daughter and his friend. He pulled in and got out. He knocked on the door, no answer came. He reached out and grabbed the knob. Opening the door, he stepped inside. Taking in his surroundings, the tv was on the floor face down. "Gunnar?" He said. Walking cautiously farther into the room. "Gunnar?" He said again making his way into the kitchen. He noted the broken crockery on the floor, in front of the fridge. So walked to the kitchen, the window behind the table broken glass everywhere. "Gunnar?" He said a third time. "Leave, Barney." He said his voice gravelly. Barney turned around to see Gunnar setting in the corner a fifth of wild turkey in his hand, that was nearly empty. His head was down, he raised his head slightly. His eyes looked crazed and vacant. Barney said, "I'm not going anywhere." Gunnar eyed him a moment longer, then stood saying "fine, then I will." He downed the rest of the wild turkey. chucking the bottle across the room, it smashed against the wall.

New Orleans two days later*

Gunnar got drunk, but the alcohol wasn't helping. In fact he had been drunk ever since that morning. He had made Barney leave him that day. He didn't want too see anyone that reminded him of her. But unfortunately he couldn't escape her, no matter how hard he tried. She was everywhere, or at least her essence was. He needed to sober up, they had a job in two days. He relished the idea of killing flesh and blood at this moment. He had destroyed his house, breaking windows, and furniture. In his attempt to dispel anger, it had only left him feeling impotent. But killing now that might help, and if not there were other things that he knew would help.

Naples five days later*

Pax set on the hill looking out over the water, she forgot how amazingly blue this water was. how brightly the sun shone here. How dense and cloying the air could be. How fragrant the flowers were. Despite her sensory overload, she felt half alive. The pain was almost too much. She was slowly pushing it away, the guilt and pain. The numbness would be there soon. A single tear slid down her cheek, but you love him, her heart whispered. She pushed the thought away.

Today was the first day she had left her hotel room, Lance had been adamant she get up. He'd had meetings in Rome today, and had made her promise she'd get up, and eat today. She wondered the city and the park, until late. Her mother had called but she ignored it. She hadn't answered her father either, she just lost herself in this beautiful ancient city. She didn't take pictures, or video the last few times she did that... It had been for... Later that night she set in her room staring out the window, at the lights. Her video camera in hand.

Tools shop New Orleans five days later*

Tool was as usual busy working on a tattoo sketch when Barney walked in. It was early and no one else around. Tool looked up from his work, knowing instantly Barney had something on his mind. He leaned back in his chair and waited. Barney said his tone worried, " he's going to go off the deep end." Tool knew who the he was Barney referred to. Tool asked "how so?" His question sounded dumb to his own ears, they both knew what Gunnar was capable of.  
"He was scary, more so then usual he's loosing his grip on reality."  
"He's never had a real firm grip." Tool commented then asked "how is Pax?" Barney sighed, he was having mixed feelings about his daughter these days. On one hand he was mad at her, he had told her to be careful. On the other she seemed messed up, she ran from everything. "She won't talk to anyone, but I spoke to Church this morning. He said she's doing better not crying as much, and leaving the hotel." Tool nodded, feeling for his friend. But still he felt the need to say, "you can't blame her for this, Barney. She's got so much she has never dealt with, she needs help. No one has ever tried to help her through any of it, except Gunnar." Barney held his gaze thinking about what he was saying, he knew he was right. But Barney didn't know how to help her, "and look where it got him," he said. He couldn't help but blame her at least partly.

Over the course of the next few weeks, Pax lost herself in travel. She slowly pushed him away so all that remained was a dull ache. She didn't stop, if she did things would over take her she knew. She had tried to talk with her father, the only word to describe it was strained.

Gunnar woke up face down on his bed, his head throbbing his mouth tasted like ass. These cloths he woke up in, he'd been wearing for days. He momentarily felt confused, and disoriented. Then reality hit him, her name fluttered threw his mind. And with it came reality, and that knife in the gut sensation. He had to shake her, but it didn't matter what he did he couldn't. Love, ha this is where love got you. He'd never actually been in love until her, he knew that now. Years ago when he was young, and had a bright future he'd thought he was. But now he realized what he felt then wasn't even a fraction, of what he felt now. Women would only ever serve one purpose for him now. He fuck them, then forget them. He'd never let anyone else mess him up.

Later that night he set staring at white powdery substance, on the table. He had chopped in into lines, he leaned forward and snorted one then the other. Instantly he found that painless void, an image of her still played in his mind. But it wasn't so painful, less sharp. Finally maybe he could be free of her, and of his own still present want to have her near. After everything he still wanted her, felt like he needed her. The aching void she'd left huge.

Two days later*

Gunnar came stumbling into Molly's his hair greasy, his cloths dirty and stained. Molly watched him from behind the bar, he was staggering. He approached the bar, "hey Molly," he began swaying back and forth "give me a bud." She waited on him quickly and watched as he stumbled off to a table. She grabbed her cell and went in back calling Barney. When picked up she said "Gunnar's here." Barney replied, "and?"  
"He's spun." After a short pause Barney said, "fuck, I'll be right there."

When Barney got to Molly's, Gunnar set at a table alone. He looked ruff, and there wasn't a doubt in his mind that Molly wasnt right. He walked over setting down, Gunnar barely spared him a look. Barney asked "what's going on, Gunnar?" Gunnar gave a sardonic laugh, and an icy look. "I'd think it would be obvious" he said. Barney looked at him with absolutely no idea what to say. Eventually he said "you need to slow down. I know Pax leaving..." Gunnar cut him off, "she might be your daughter," his eyes taking on a dark unstable look. "But don't ever mention her to me again, she doesn't exist." Barney wanted to tell him what he knew, but he couldn't. Pax would never forgive him, and who knew what Gunnar would do with the information. Barney grabbed a waitress on the way by, and ordered a drink. He looked at Gunnar and said "fair enough."


End file.
